nothing blooms 365 days a year

I heard this post's title as a quote in a recent audiobook* and instantly felt like... it was super relatable. The context was about struggling with adaption - and getting thrown off our mission when change happens. 

Which, ya know, feels like a pretty accurate allegory for the horse training journey!

*Emergent Strategies by adrienne maree brown if you're interested

"To Glory!"

So in the spirit of embracing that quote as a theme, let's recap recent happenings with my sweet sensitive firecracker, Mondeuse! And also, my own personal journey of ceding control and accepting my imperfections as a rider in order to (hopefully!) grow and develop.

it's a very pretty saddle. also.... a whole fuck ton more contact than this baby racehorse is quite ready to accept....

Basically, I feel like we're in a bit of an "ugly phase." But that it's also a normal and natural part of the process. But that I also kinda have to keep coaching my own self through it, pepping myself up, ya know?

i got a new crossbody Illumiseen belt/sash, since doozy already wears a martingale, plus my old LED breastplates are kinda on their way out... so far i'm quite happy with it! basically everybody at my farm has adopted some method of LED road safety, bc it just plain old makes a huge difference for drivers on the long twisty driveway

One big issue is that it costs me something to give up my own "ways" in order to follow along somebody else's training program. And in this case, MP has advised on saddle changes (more on that below), significant postural changes, and in our most recent lesson actually had me try a different pair of reins too. 

one of the fun parts of owning a mare now --- expanding the cast of characters on the blog!! Candee Kisses has been around for years, but now you all get more exposure to her extreme cuteness <3

These are all normal things, and in some cases - much needed things. But it also results in me feeling like I don't really have any tools left when the actual ride doesn't go well. 

I don't mind experimenting and changing things --- if it's improving the way the horse goes. In recent lessons, however, it almost feels like the horse is going worse. Like -- somehow, suddenly, we can't trot. Which makes it hard for me to stay committed to changes when I perceive that we're going backwards in training.

other new characters --- barn panther Icee......

Except, ya know.... Here's where the pep talks come in. Bc I'm pretty sure.... Riding is kinda just hard. And I'm pretty sure every single horse on the face of the planet will, at some point(s), experiment with whether resistance is an option. 

not gonna lie, he's slightly intimidating

And I need to not let my distrust of my own ability or skill when it comes to riding dressage stop me now. It's going to be a process. And actually, I can pretty clearly recall these same exact feelings of frustration from various points in my training journey with Isabel --- who was a hot sensitive redhead in her own right, but significantly more confident and self contained than Doozy.

christ those claws tho

So, we carry on with the lessons. And I endeavor to trust the process. 

accidentally step on him at your own risk!

In my last lesson recap post, recall we talked about working on transitions. I've played with that a few times in schooling (and also quite a bit with Charlie too), and feel like that will continue to be a go-to tool especially when I'm riding alone and feeling distrustful of myself. 

it has been "9" days since our last biting incident lol..... tho no blood was drawn. progress?

In our more recent lesson, we worked on lateral flexion. Basically --- never riding a straight line, *always* riding the bending line wherever we were, and trying not to get stuck on the wall -- but constantly riding the bend, and changing directions frequently. 

charles, rockin' Duke's (of Dark Jewel Designs custom browband fame) old sheet

This exercise was a little harder for us in the lesson itself, and I could actually feel Doozy's tension rising for much of it --- like we were sorta locked against each other. A feeling I, uh, hate.

But then, kinda suddenly out of nowhere, it was like the mare did a full body muscular exhale. And just went with it, walking beautifully, holding herself. After what felt like ages of intense concentration, patience, and discipline. For both of us --- which, not incidentally, is also a key in building both of our fitness for the work. 

and Mondeuse, rockin'.... Charles' old smartpak sheet haha bc she shredded her spare and her main sheet was soaked. this is why i always have like zillions of sheets lol. and omg, it *almost* fits her

So after sorta marinating on it a bit, I see more utility there. Especially as it was a super effective "tell" for my position -- if we're changing directions so frequently, doesn't give me much chance to get squirrelly and crooked in my position, know what I mean? So it'll be worth experimenting with in our solo schools. 

anyway. we'll be friends eventually, pal

Another thing I'll be experimenting with --- returning to riding primarily in jump tack. We tried one of MP's Custom dressage saddles, and it was LOVELY OMG. But also felt like... Doozy is straight up Not Ready, Ma'am for that much of me sitting down on her. Even in Isabel's old Bates dressage saddle, she feels a little more tense and spurt-y than what I'd expect. 

So I'm going to play around with spending more time in jump tack. And, yes, I'll admit it -- spending more time in my habitual safe half seat and floaty arms position. If that's what it takes to get our trot and canter reps in at this point, that's what I'll do. 

Maybe it'll slow down our development by not adhering strictly to one style of riding. But, eh, there's more than one goal here, right? Trust and consistency are also goals. And feeling confident to go forth and enjoy the ride is its own reward lol.