pictures worth some words

As promised, I ordered some prints from our recent competition outing — Loch Moy’s final recognized horse trial of the year. From which, as you may remember, I opted to call it a day after a less-than-stellar dressage test paired with increasingly poor ground conditions in the chilly rain.

a picture of a picture of us trotting in the rain <3

Everything might have been fine if we’d decided to continue. It’s not like the bad dressage is unusual for us LOL, not like we haven’t carried on from last place in basically every other show. But eh, with the recent whoopsie it felt a little unnecessary to push in decidedly not ideal circumstances. So, we didn’t. 

bolting in the rain too!! lolz…..

The pictures aren’t half bad (for us) tho! Like Doozy is obvi running away with me in the canter pic haha… And trust me, she was indeed. But as far as our standard fare presentation goes… I’m not sad to have the photos!

oh doozy dear, you are indeed the fastest at dressage tests!

I still had a good long talk about it with trainer C at our most recent dressage lesson, tho. Bc our scoring really is consistently just so bad. Like, “outside the normal distribution” bad. Consistently, with every judge. And it’s not just like we get the low end of any given judge’s marks. No no no, we are generally well into the “You probably shouldn’t be here” marks.

in case you wanted a graphical + annotated representation of what it means to be “objectively bad,” here we are well outside the ‘standard deviations’ of our last show’s dressage score distribution

Case in point is the handy little histogram I made of all 18 horses in our class at the show. It’s all to scale, one percentage point per tick across the horizontal axis. With 17 horses all clustered around the average score, and then a loonnnnnnnng tail of nothingness until us.

she’s 100% objectively cute tho <3 <3 <3

I maintain that I honestly do not care about winning. In fact, I don’t necessarily even care about specifically losing. I care more about how it feels while we’re doing it. Like, Charlie would still strut like a champion after putting in a severely mediocre test. Bc as far as he was concerned, he Did. The. Thing. and was a Good. Boy.

Doozy, on the other hand, sometimes almost feels like she thinks she might actually die.

i only went out to blanket her, but she wasn’t having it,
didn’t think i should be able to leave without her <3

Well ok. That’s a little dramatic. But she definitely feels like she thinks Something Bad might happen at any time. 

Which, I should note, this is the point at which most people love to tell me that I just need to “keep getting out there” and “give it time” and “keep exposing her.” Which is a strange thing for me to hear bc 1) what exactly do the people saying this to me think I’m doing??? and 2) we’re legit ‘getting out there’ far more frequently and with more regularity than most people I know, and definitely more than the people who like to give me this advice. So ya know, spare me LOL.

happy out hacking!

But eh. Y’all know how it is. Folks love to offer solutions to everybody else’s problems. And it’s pretty clear that Doozy and I have a Big Dressage Problem. Doozy’s tension is obviously still there in the other phases, but the feeling is completely different. Still at times chaotic, but a whole lot less “IMPENDING DOOM.” The dressage, tho. Oof. You’d think I was asking her to do a 20m circle right around the precipice of an actual literal black hole.

reasons to be grateful: two horses who spent a fair bit of time this year laid up on stall rest, reunited back out on the hills!

Sometimes I have to actually stop myself and appreciate how far she’s come in so much of our day to day life together — how she is in the barn, out on trails, going to lessons and clinics, all the various things we regularly do. Doozy is truly a lovely horse to be around, to spend time with, and to ride in all the various activities I love to do. In company, alone, whatever. 

sweet silly mare

So yea, it bugs me that this one specific activity — riding the dressage test at a show — is so specifically unpleasant and un-fun. Especially when you consider how much we enjoy our dressage lessons lol… Make it make sense!   

might not be everybody’s favorite view point lol but we have fun :)

Trainer C was feeling equally boggled by the whole thing. She only sees us in lessons so from her perspective, Doozy has long since moved on from her earliest chaotic tendencies. And it’s obvi hard to explain just how much the horse changes, turns completely inside out, when we actually enter for our test.

All the same, tho, she was adamant that we keep trying to experiment a bit. Keep trying different approaches, and, yes, still keep giving the horse time and exposure. Bc the horse truly can make a lovely test when she’s feeling secure and game. Plus obvi we still wanna do cross country! And the path to the start box goes through the dressage court. 

keepin up with the joneses

It is somehow turning into the most glorious fall already. We’ve still had some warm days — but that cool crisp kinda warm that makes you want to bring layers just in case.

everybody is snuggly and sweet when it gets cold out!

It’s also been properly chilly on a couple days, and naturally a little rainy at times too. So all the nice cozy categories of weather. Only real bummer is the increasingly early sunset, I guess!

even doozy! in her new rain sheet!

Doozy, for her part, has been great. We had some really nice schooling rides in the last couple weeks, including a good dressage lesson, good schools at home, and that properly pleasant jump school I wrote about — plus one more after that wherein we basically just repeated exactly the same set of exercises with exactly the same properly pleasant results. Who doesn’t love that?

the sheet came in handy, bc it’s been rainy!
(also, yes, that is a whole ass flake of hay just sittin loose on the trailer floor LOL)

It was a good feeling too, bc we actually already had an entry in for Loch Moy’s final recognized HT of the year. Tho… Truth be told, legit one of my first thoughts after falling off at the starter trial was to check to see if it was too late to withdraw. Alas, it was.

It was a good aspirational bold plan when I sent all those entries in all at once — instead of my usual conservative / pessimistic approach of waiting to enter each thing until after the last thing, just in case.

“you can’t be serious” — doozy, so sweet she melts down in the rain

But, eh, that’s how it goes, right? I decided I’d still go to the recognized show since it was paid for and all, and we’d give it a good shot. Mostly I was curious to see if we could replicate some of those really good moments from the starter trial — esp in the dressage warm up.

proof we sorta kinda tried to do a thing! got some pro pics too bc #whynot, but you’ll have to wait for them to come in the mail

Idk, tho. The vibe was kinda off the whole day — and not just bc of the persistently damp chilly rain. We parked way down in timbuktu bc the place was a ZOO for area champs. They rearranged a lot of stuff from how they’d done it last year, including adding a second show jump competition ring and moving sj warm up to a whole new location (conveniently right above where we parked so we got to walk through all that** on our way to dressage).

(**All that being inclusive of the frequent victory gallops as each champs division concluded)

“i’ll take my snacks to go, pls!” — doozy, ready to be done

That’s all a long way to say: No, our dressage was not representative of any good work or improvements or whatever. It was, as they say, quite bad. Siiiiiigh.

I’d originally determined to stick around at least for show jumping, bad vibes be damned, but… eh. XC seemed out of the question with increasingly slippy torn up tracks (something like 40 BN horses had already jumped our track over the course of the weekend) and especially the warm up zone, and I don’t think I’d have forgiven myself if we had a repeat (or worse) of our last outing.

anyway. cats!! cats in paper bags!!! <3 <3

Ultimately tho, I opted to just pack up after dressage. Some other time it’ll feel appropriate and necessary to push through the cold wet chaos to go jump our jumps. It just didn’t have to be this particular day LOL.

speaking of creature comforts… my farrier started bringing his puppy on the road omg

And obvi Doozy certainly didn’t mind!! She doesn’t know she didn’t jump lol. Honestly, aside from being absolutely unable to cope the second she enters at A…. honestly aside from all that, she’s been an extremely happy camper lately!

doozy was obsessed, to say the least!

Nice rides, relaxed, pleasant and happy in the barn. Low key creepy in love with my farrier’s puppy. Ya know. Normal happy horse stuff! 

ooooh and more horse shows — this time on the administrative side of things: drafting maps!

So we’ll see what the season brings. Perhaps going back to the drawing board entirely re: test riding + ring craft. Or perhaps shifting focus to other activities that don’t involve dressage courts at all. Or ya know. Maybe just continuing to work as we have been, trusting that the progress is happening even if it’s hard to tell? Idk! We’ll see!

making plans for all these pretties!!!!

In the meantime, tho, we’re kicking back into high gear with all things Shawan Downs, as the local riding club’s fall starter event is rapidly approaching! 

get on the bus, lil’ table!!

There’s something so satisfying about being a part of that process, watching all the plans and pieces come together as the event takes shape.

so exciting to see things start taking shape! and look at those hints of crimson in the foliage!!!!

Fingers crossed the weather cooperates too bc while I’m undecided about entering the show, I’m very hopeful to at least make it to the xc schooling days. A girl can dream, right?

doozy, don’t you wanna go play too???

Right. It’s a tricky time of year to get too attached to any one specific plan or activity, with the weather being what it is. But honestly after having been on the sidelines for so much of the summer, it’s nice to even just have the choice!

perhaps haha. i think perhaps she does!

If the weather *DOES* play nice, we might have a few other upcoming activities planned too that require zero dressage (or even flatwork). More galloping hill and dale, less messy stressy contact on 20m circles. Doesn’t sound half bad, right? 

Cross your fingers the weather agrees LOL. And in the meantime, hope y’all have a nice weekend too!

show pics!

Happy Monday, folks! Hope everyone northeast of me didn’t get too too soaked with the recent storm, and hopefully not too many trees down in the wind! It was mostly quiet around these parts. A little soggy, a little chilly, but mostly quiet. 

handsome mare doin her best

But lo — the pro pics from our most recent show arrived in the mail!! I continue to just order actual physical prints bc… well. Number 1, I love pictures — lots of pictures, ALL the pictures!!! And #2, I’m grateful the photographers are there and want to support them.

just trottin around

For whatever reasons, the most economic option continues to be physical prints that arrive in the mail, of which I take slightly sketchy glare-y digital pictures to share here haha.

we might not be very good at this, but it doesn’t matter lol

And our selection from this go-round was a bit limited. I don’t know for sure, but it seems like the photographers curate the albums. Or maybe they only shoot when they think it’ll make a good picture. Regardless, it can make for slightly slim pickins for me and my silly mare.

we are slightly better at this, tho, sometimes! sorta!

C’est la vie, tho, right? I’d rather have the pictures than not have them!

pretty sure i’d already gone off course by this point tho LOL

The day may not have ultimately gone the way I wanted, but there were a lot of good moments and it deserves its spot in ye olde archives haha.

photographers chose interesting locations on cross country, so this is our one and only shot, literally just moments before our little oopsie… oh well!

Plus, ya know, I happen to think the mare is cute. She might not be everybody’s cup of tea, but she’s just the right little red wine grape for me!

a properly pleasant school

The teachers at my yoga studio start each practice with a short reading or verse to help students set intentions. This one really resonated with me:

I used to think joy was something I’d feel later — after the goals, after the growth.
But it turns out, joy was the sun on my face this morning, 
and I almost missed it.

doozy, standing patiently in the warm sun, waiting for me to arrange my gadgets

To me, that verse manages to capture in just a few short lines the essence of all the work on mindset and mentality that I’ve been trying to accomplish for basically years at this point. 

warm up walkies

And I don’t know that the work ever really, ends, ya know? This whole thing with horses is a lifelong pursuit in so many different ways and dimensions… And obviously any time you throw competition into the mix, there’s going to be a constant push and pull between pressure, challenge, fulfillment, etc.

just trottin around!

Maybe in a weird way, tho, our consistently poor results make it somehow easier to be a bit philosophical about the whole thing. Like, I’m clearly not doing this for the glory or accolades or, god forbid, prize money (LOL). So there’s gotta be something else to it, right?

just canterin around too, like a sweetheart!

Something about doing it just for the sake of doing it, bc we strive for the challenge, bc it’s fun and rewarding and exciting. Bc we like the feeling of the warm sun on our face. 

and the other way!

One of my primary objectives in getting Doozy was to get back to a place where I felt like I was learning and developing and growing as a rider and horse person. And honestly, she’s one hell of a teacher LOL. A very VERY different type from Charlie.

set up the little bounce exercise from windurra camp

It really does feel like she’s coming into her own this year tho. Obvi putting aside her summertime injury hiatus… But even before that, it honestly felt like we were seeing more and more promising signs of the type of horse she wants to be when she grows up. 

our efforts got slightly less tidy with repetition,
which is perhaps a useful finding in and of itself

That was pre-Pivo, tho, so actual evidence or footage was rare. Tho I recently went back and reviewed all the videos from earlier this year anyway bc I was looking for jumping footage to submit to another one of those video coaching sessions, this time with Peter Wylde (who you might remember ran the show jumping clinics at Windurra Camp).

lots of cantering, building back that fitness!

I ended up submitting the video from this jumping school back in April, bc basically… That’s a great example of Doozy being her best self — being exactly the type of jumping horse I want. 

And ya know, it’s also a nice example of me being occasionally caught slightly flat footed and behind the 8-ball when she’s being so pleasant and rideable. Turns out… The whole thing with having a rideable horse is that.. ya know, now you have to **ride** it.

convenient singles on the diagonal for changing direction as needed

So it was good to get that feedback from Peter on what he saw in the video, and how I can keep working to meet Doozy where she is and help her be her best. Specific takeaways include doing fewer lines of ground poles at canter (he is not a fan, says they can too easily promote the wrong body habits in the horse); being more clear and disciplined in my corners after jumps, and working toward more related distances that I can practice adding / removing strides in.

last pass thru the bounces was a bit of a miss lol, but i couldn’t be bothered to dismount and reset

So I had some of that in mind when I set up this week’s jump school. Instead of canter ground poles, I made a line of little bounces. Had a couple singles that could all be ridden each way. And also built up the two-stride combination we keep seeing at shows — oxer to vertical. Peter had recommended a shorter distance — 33’ with generous ground lines — to help the horse gain confidence and draw thru the line.

doozy recovered her composure promptly, however, and jumped this beautifully

And my warm up was basically all about moving forward, covering ground, and staying in front of the leg — esp since this was our first time jumping since the little oopsie at Loch Moy. So we did a fair bit more canter than I might normally do in a warm up… Tho honestly Doozy felt great basically from the word go so we just got right into it.

finally set up the oxer-vert 2 stride we keep seeing (and biffing) at shows. i wanted this to be a confidence building exercise so the oxer is plenty wide but slightly ascending, only 33’ to the vertical, with generous ground lines everywhere

Jumped a single first just to get Doozy thinking about jumping, then went right to circling around the bounces off each lead. An interesting finding for me was that each repetition honestly got slightly less good. Probably bc I wasn’t proactive enough in reestablishing the good canter balance, and naturally Doozy was inclined to build as we went. 

It wasn’t a problem or bad or whatever. Just something worth thinking about — especially whenever I integrate this or similar exercises into rides.

it rode exactly right both times <3

The rest of the jumps were really honestly great, tho. We knocked one single after getting just a little too close (I ran out of poles so it didn’t have ground lines either). And a couple times we definitely landed a bit stronger than is ideal. But other than that it felt like Doozy was actually jumping really nicely.

good girl barely broke a sweat

And she was a superstar for the in and out! I’m really glad I set it up tho — it’s worth practicing, probably again too if it’s still around next time I jump. I felt like Doozy had just the briefest feeling of “Hmmmm” when we turned the corner to present to the grid, perhaps bc that’s where we got a bit sticky at Loch Moy last week. 

But she carried on and jumped it great. Tho I opted to do one more trip just to sorta prove to both of us that we’re not just getting lucky getting through it — we’ve got it, it’s reproducible. And it was!

video of just our jumping efforts

It was interesting that Doozy was looking a bit improved in some places with her leads — either landing the lead or able to execute a balanced auto change before the turn. She’s naturally a pretty good-leaded horse, and tends to be good about managing her own changes. My hope is that as we continue to prioritize good balance, it’ll only get easier for her.

“oh nooooo!!!” — silliest mare, had apparently been holding onto that carrot for a minute

Overall, tho, it was honestly just a nice simple straightforward jump school. Nothing extraordinary. Nothing crazy. Just a couple good BN sized fences, and Doozy handled it all very nicely and pleasantly. 

nbd, there’s always more where that came from!

What more could I want? It seems like we might be in for a week of rain with the nor’easter that’s about to blow in, so who knows when the outdoor will be open again (tho I remain hopeful that we just get the edge of the storm vs a direct hit!). 

So for now it’s good enough to just enjoy the sunshine, enjoy the good vibes, and appreciate that Doozy was happy to jump around like a professional despite our little blip last weekend. 

friday foto finish: seasonality

Happy Friday, and Happy Fall to those who celebrate! It feels like September is always one of the craziest months of the year, not least because it is a month of transitions. 

August is peak summer in Maryland, with the heat and humidity seamlessly carrying on into September.

We were fortunate to have enough late season rain to keep things luscious and green — even after the last cuttings from the hay field!

Still tho, eventually everything goes to seed for the year — our fields get this gorgeous heather-y purple hue that really brings out the contours and steepness of the hillsides!

We’ve been lucky to get out a lot lately too, and occasionally in larger groups! And Doozy loves the groups. I used to worry that she’d be too chaotic and triggering for other horses but she’s proven me wrong (yet again haha). The vibes are good <3

September also always brings a new tenor of urgency to the show season calendar too. Suddenly stuff needs to happen! Preparations need to be made!

Including the MDCTA’s fall starter, which we’re super excited to be holding at Shawan Downs again!! In just a few short weeks all these jumps are gonna be back out and ready for action!

Doozy, for her part, seems to be happy for the routine. Well. Except occasionally — our early morning dressage lessons sometimes interfere with her nap schedule!

“I need a coffee. And maybe a hug too.” — sleepy Doozy <3

It’s not exactly coffee, but she likes sniffing the lavender potpourri satchel I keep in my helmet bag haha.

And hacking, haha. She likes hacking. We hacked a lot this month, apparently!

The low trail down by the creek finally got cleared of trees again too! I just love the woods this time of year.

Doozy’s been so pleasant and happy out there this month that we’ve actually done some hillside trotting and cantering too!

It’s super important to me that hacking remain a relaxing and fun activity, a nice escape. Obvi being free to run can be its own variation of fun liberating escape — but only if Doozy’s on board with that vibe lol. And lately? She has been !! <3 <3

Tho obvi we probably spend equal time stopping and snacking and chatting LOL.

It’s also been a season for starting to get back out to all the major FEI events — starting with the Plantation Field International!! 

I got to steward the 4* and 1* dressage warm up the day before our own show at Loch Moy and it was super inspiring lol.

I also stuck around long enough to help transition the big hilltop ring from dressage to show jumping — picking up all the boards and blocks etc above and putting down the standards and poles and cups and numbers.

I’m always so amazed by the level of organization and professionalism at these big venues. If you ever have a chance to help with set up for one of these events, you totally should. There’s a lot to it!

As it is, I’m super grateful that the gorgeous Indian Summer weather held fast through that event and our own showing at Loch Moy, bc it’s been rainy and cool ever since. 

Soggy Biscuit actually wore a blankie (and fly boots, go figure) a couple nights this week, esp the night before our last dressage lesson. God forbid she be cold and muddy AND have to go to work lol.

The rain brought in a distinct new crisp coolness to the air. A change in the light and color.

And the sun is setting earlier and earlier, as it always inevitably does.

Fall is my favorite season for riding, tho. I’m honestly kinda glad it’s here, excited to see what it brings! Hope you all have a happy start to the season, and a fantastic fall weekend!