not getting desperate

I’m currently reading listening to How Trust Works by Peter H. Kim, PhD, who draws on decades of research in behavioral psychology and social sciences to explore how trust is built, broken and repaired. It’s an interesting read listen if you’re into that sort of thing!

pics are unrelated today bc we’re still doing the same stuff except even less now bc the world is apparently on fire…

I’ve read some of the books he mentions, and so was already familiar with a classic research study he cites, the “Good Samaritan” experiment from the 70s. 

The gist is: Seminary students participating in the study were sent across campus to give a talk (the topic varied, but for some was the parable of the Good Samaritan). On the way, they would encounter a stranger slumped on the ground, in obvious distress. In some cases, the stranger was quite literally blocking the seminarian’s path. 

The study’s striking result was that whether the seminarians stopped to help the stranger was most strongly predicted by how much time pressure they felt. Those who were told to get across campus ASAP were far less likely to stop (in some cases, they even stepped over the stranger to get to their sermon on the Good Samaritan, #irony), whereas participants who’d been told they had plenty of time helped more often than not. 

“stop making me look fat in pictures :’( ” — my plushly upholstered princess in our last session before the apocalypse
related — i’ll have a post up later this week with her current meal plan for those curious

It’s obviously a fascinating and famous study for a lot of reasons, and is referenced in a ton of books on behavioral and social sciences. 

Kim’s finding from this study is that specific features of a situation can influence how we choose to act more so than any individual personality traits. Or, more bluntly, it’s not only possible but easy to get ‘good’ people to behave ‘badly’ with the right situational conditions. 

He concludes that as situational forces grow stronger, our “individualistic” forces grow weaker, and therefore the notion that our characters alone will dictate how we act is simply wrong.

it was another good ride tho <3

Which… Ya know… Is maybe worth mulling over in a variety of contexts — as Kim does in his book on trust. For OUR purposes, however, I had a more topical framing in mind while listening to that chapter on the way to the barn. 

I’m always interested in trying to adapt or apply findings from behavioral sciences to my horsey pursuits. We all know riding is just plain hard, and for a lot of different reasons. And particularly, sometimes it feels like there’s this gaping chasm between how well I might understand a thing, compared to how reliably I can do it. Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the mouth your horse bolts sideways bc #bunnies, right??

So I’m always looking for little hacks, insights, little tweaks or changes to my approach that make it easier to get the outcomes I’m looking for, to establish consistency and reproducibility. To improve the quality of our routine practice etc.

but then… the apocalypse …. oof. no worries, tho, i’m sure more tariffs will fix it! 

So this chapter in Kim’s book caught my attention, specifically within the context of the key commandment that came up again and again across ALL the sessions at the Windurra camp: Don’t get desperate. 

Kim’s conclusions add an interesting nuance to that mantra, right? Which, in case you didn’t read my lengthy posts (lol), came up in multiple sessions including the sports psychology keynote with Natalie Hummel, the dressage demo with Silva Martin and Laura Graves, and the show jump course walk lecture with Peter Wylde. 

Each, in their own way, cautioned riders against getting too sucked into the drama of the moment, letting things escalate or snowball to the point of sacrificing position, precision or intention. Instead, they wanted riders to recognize those moments, take a beat to reset and try again.

 

at least the smoke seems to cut the heat dome humidity??

What the study’s conclusions clarify for me, tho, is that “getting desperate” is generally a function of specific situational circumstances rather than just a lapse in our individual skills or abilities. It’s not that “I suck under pressure,” it’s that pressure — especially time pressure — is a strong enough force to override all my good intentions. 

So learning to recognize that external pressure (time-related or otherwise) in the moment is key. And to take it a step further, it’s worth examining that pressure itself — how much of it is real vs basically self-imposed? Is there a way to consciously design or structure our environments to counteract negative pressure or actually create positive pressure?

Instead of consistently struggling in a given scenario and feeling like, ‘what is wrong with me?’ — maybe it’d be more productive / useful to reframe, asking, ‘what is it about this scenario that’s making things harder?’

For example, I’m a little-too-type-A about all things clocks and timing. Especially when paired with my “overthinking” and “trying to control everything” habits. One of my personality, uh, charms is that I’m kinda always watching the clock, estimating how much time a thing should take, setting expectations etc.

we can still engage the mind with in-hand activities while protecting the lungs!

Just the other day I was literally being an INSANE person overthinking my interval timer app. It’s programmed to ding every 2min for about 35 minutes, and I use it to provide structure and keep track of minutes trotting. 

I was torturing myself tho bc our round pen sessions are ~15min, and the riding session is usually 20-35min… Plus there’s the ‘intermission’ for leaving the round pen, getting on, riding up to the arena, doing a couple laps to settle in, etc… 

And I was going around and around in my head calculating exactly when to pause / resume / optimize this scenario to fully leverage the 35min program, without a lot of fussing with my phone or putting unnecessary pressure on Doozy by thinking that “once I press Resume we have to Go Right Now!!”… 

When… it hit me… Emma. WTF chill out, stop making everything a math problem— re program the app to go for like 60 or 90 minutes and call. it. a. day, dear lord LOL.

pictured: enrichment lol

Ahem. Cough cough. Moving on!

Insanity aside, tho, that realization was a little bit of an “Aha! for Dummies” moment lol. Bc that whole “external forces can overpower our normal inclinations, especially when time pressure is involved” thing works both ways, right? 

Reprogramming the app literally reversed the effect it was having on me — from making me hyper-fixate on ‘optimizing each moment’ to… just taking advantage of the intervals in whatever way worked for us in that moment, bc “we have plenty of time!”

It’s sounds so obvious, like such a no-brainer, and maybe it is. But to me, it was the perfect demonstration of an environment design choice that helps facilitate my best possible decision making and actions. 

we did beautification activities too!!

In the same vein, Peter Wylde suggested using strategically located cones to cue riders for a downward transition mid-course — to enforce a reminder to breathe and reset. 

Matt Brown talked about this in our last lesson, too — that flatwork can be so tricky bc of the *absence* of physical landmarks like an actual literal jump. Which, ya know, is maybe actually why dressage uses ring letters lol.

To me, the idea of deliberately designing our environments to support better behaviors is super appealing. And maybe kinda what last year’s Brit Bot was helping to accomplish too. 

“nbd, some of us were born breathing fire!!” — doozy, unfazed by the haze!

A way to use external signals to help me stay proactive vs reactive, while also explicitly cuing exactly the reminders I know I need. A way to reinforce good choices and make executing on my intentions easier, without needing to rely solely on memory, instincts, willpower or discipline.

Obviously, we can’t avoid negative pressure forever — especially in competitions, when it’s time, it’s time. But we have a lot more control over the circumstances of our everyday practice. So the idea, I think, is to structure practice as well as we can, and use the resources we have available to make a positive experience always the likeliest outcome.

Or ya know. At least until the next rabbit jumps out at us lol….

vocabulary

I’ve continued to let all the thoughts, ideas, concepts, etc from Windurra camp marinate for the last couple weeks, rolling around in my head sorta like a lapidary machine. Ideally, eventually all the rough edges will grind down into smooth polished gems, right??

i spy with my little eye…. a red horse and her spotted pony friend!

A girl can only hope LOL… But for real, there are ~3 main concepts I’m prioritizing. Bc realistically, I can’t really walk and chew gum at the same time, so I sorta need to keep a relatively narrow focus at any given time. And also, even more realistically, some stuff will just have to wait until we’re farther along in the rehab.

there she is <3 <3

The first big concept is “Composure.” Also known as “not overthinking” and “not getting desperate.” The round pen practice I wrote about last week has been instrumental in implementing this idea, in giving us space and breathing room to get on the same page for a working session with minimal drama.

ooooh we got to share the ring with emotional support barbie dream horse v2.0

For whatever reason, whether it’s truly related or just kinda coincidental (Doozy is, after all, a mercurial changeable critter!), we’ve been basically explosion-free for all our rides since we started with the round pen. Like, the tension is still there, it’s always there, ya know? But we’ve been able to work with it and through it. 

working on square turns and, uh…, “straight” lines LOL — can you tell??

Which takes us to the next big concept we’ve been prioritizing: line of travel and shoulder control. For whatever reason, this is one of those evergreen focal points for me. And apparently one that I’m constantly forgetting and then rediscovering, over and over again.

composed biscuit

There’s something about being really intentional with our line of travel that has something close to a “magic fairy dust” effect on us. Probably bc it forces me to really plug all my aids in, seat and legs first, and ride both sides of the horse evenly from back to front. 

routine maintenance — pretty happy with how her feet are doing!

And goooo figure, Doozy likes being ridden like that LOL. Maybe she has actually read the textbook? 

her tootsie turds!! little rolls of magic cushion for under the leather pads

Part of why she’s been so tricky for me to ride is that it’s literally the riding that increases her tension. My aids increase tension. Touching the reins, using my leg, adjusting my seat — she is sensitive and reactive to all of these things and it is absurdly easy to end up feeling like she’s ping-pong-ing all over the place, bouncing off all the aids.

farrier has this cool epoxy-like stuff that can help secure the clips if the wall got a little crumbly

Except, simultaneously, she also wants and needs direction. As a somewhat insecure horse, she kinda wants me to hold her hand, tell her where to go, maintain a constant “I’m ok, you’re ok!” dialog. And in the absence of any clear direction, she will **absolutely** fill the void herself. Generally with poor choices haha.

she might actually love her farrier more than she loves me — look how serene she is!

Somehow, by focusing on the line of travel, riding back to front, we’re able to maintain the composure, keep the train on the proverbial tracks, and let Doozy settle on the aids, no muss no fuss.

anyway. chickens, bc they is a part of our life now haha

Bc it is only at this point that we can start on the next big concept — all those transitions between and within gait that were such a highlight from the camp sessions. Which, makes sense, right? Like, from an order of operations POV, the composure + riding forward back to front, on the aids, are necessary requirements for the quality of transitions we’re talking about, right?

ooooh and off to the super fancy indoor — complete with the most aggressively powerful fans i’ve ever seen

At least, that’s the way it seems to be working for us. 5* eventer Matt Brown was back again at the lovely local farm up the road from us, so naturally we signed up for another lesson. And somewhat humorously, I reintroduced ourselves to him by saying “We’re the ones with the unhinged flatwork!” and he was like, “Ohhhhh yea” haha. hahahahaha…. What a way to distinguish ourselves LOL…

i swear i don’t set out to intentionally take absurd pictures of my horse. it just always seems to happen like that haha

Except yay, we weren’t unhinged at all, and the lesson picked up exactly where I hoped it would — on that next big focal area of the transitions. Which is somewhat insane actually bc I swear to god I did not even mention wanting to work on that AT ALL. 

But ya know. The basics are the basics for a reason, and that’s right where Matt took us after establishing that we can in fact now trot around on the aids with composure. 

anyway. moving on. breakfast time at the OK Corral!

I don’t necessarily have a ton to write about the lesson itself, bc this isn’t really ground breaking or new information, but it’s exactly the type of supervised practice we’re looking for right now. He provided a really solid framework and guidance on integrating the practice for Doozy, and also suggested adding in yielding the hind quarters to both our in-hand and ridden sessions.

then, drum roll pls!!! back to one of our favorite haunts!!! 

Which, naturally set us up perfectly for Doozy’s grand return to our erstwhile regularly scheduled dressage lessons with Trainer C! Wherein we picked up on all these various threads to put together a lovely (and carefully measured) little w-t-c session with Doozy on her absolute best behavior.

there’s still a fair amount of recovery ahead of us, but it’s exciting to keep moving along!

It was like she knew exactly where we were, and why, and was honest to god happy for it. Happy to see Trainer C, happy to be working in a lesson where she already knows all the answers and can show us all how smart she is… Happy for the familiar routine.

the happiest biscuit to be doing activities again <3 <3

I swear, this horse loves going places and doing things. She gets so much confidence from routine outings that it can have a bit of a snowball effect, with rides at home getting better and more “boring” after she’s been out in the world lol. 

Even so, “composure” will be our vocabulary word-of-the-day for… the foreseeable future lol. But I’m hopeful that maybe, at last, after all this time, we’re finally developing a sort of rubric / methodology / repeatable framework for bringing some order to the chaos. Maybe. Haha…

spin class

Doozy’s recovery from the April Trashcan Incident continues to go as smoothly as any of us could reasonably hope. She’s been very sound, plus the leg has stabilized into normalcy since returning to regular turnout. 

anybody interested in a dozen variations of the same pic???

Building back up to “full work” has been a slow process so far, tho. I feel very tentative, and am especially reluctant to lay out any kind of time frame or expectation, esp re: being “ready” for jumps etc. 

welcome to our farm’s humble round pen. there is a strong history of horses jumping out of it LOL

Mostly because to be perfectly honest, it’s been very challenging to stick with the normal incremental, one-minute-at-a-time progressive plan. 

Where Doozy is concerned, if she can trot, she might as well canter! And where *I* am concerned, when I didn’t feel like cantering was a good or appropriate idea, I therefore concluded that attempting to “just trot” was equally unwise.

doozy is suspicious of the chickens

So we have followed a slightly unconventional path to this point — lots and lots and LOTS of long slow hacks and walking rides, then increasing the small bursts of activity (trot and canter alike) little bits at a time, with as minimal drama as possible.

not, uh, loving the way that saddle is shifting around up there
(in my defense, it’s a loose girth with a riser half pad doing what riser half pads do)

After recommendations from a few different (trusted / solicited / professional) corners, tho, last week we started integrating a little free lunging in the round pen. And it’s been super interesting! (To me, at least LOL…)

“in *my* defense, maybe i’d be quieter if you used quieter tack. just saying!” — doozy, opinionated

I’ve done little bits of ground work somewhat regularly with Doozy ever since bringing her home in 2023, tho with only a very little bit on the lunge. And even then, the purpose has always been communication, aid+response, pressure+release type work rather than just moving her out. 

signs of summer: sweaty soggy everything

And that’s the point of this round pen work too. I’m basically trying to simplify the equation, separate the signal from the noise, so that Doozy and I can communicate more clearly with less chaos and escalation. And, natch, while we’re at it, find a way to start the clock ticking like one would in a more ‘typical’ rehab plan.

another sign of summer: blargh

So far, the basic gist is: getting fully dressed to ride, but then going to the round pen first. We walk a lap or so together to start, during which Doozy is more or less free to stop and smell the roses, gaze longingly out the window, or whatever, ya know? No muss, no fuss. 

same shit, different day. different saddle too, tho!

I eventually peel off toward the center of the pen, encouraging her to keep moving around for the first 5 or so minutes, including practicing a change or two of direction. The practice naturally being as much for me as for her — just figuring it out, together.

roughly 12min out of 16 in our session is spent doing exactly this. boring is our goal!

My interval timer app is programmed to chime after 5 minutes, and then every 2 minutes after that. So more or less, we do our low key wander for the first 5, then maybe more specifically active and continuous walking 2 minutes in each direction, and then it’s trot time!

“fucking chickens tho” — doozy, 100%

My whole goal here is “boring.” I want Doozy to be unhurried and unbothered. Just jog on around. And as such, I am trying to develop (and stick to) a consistent predictable sequence of the absolute minimum aid required to get a response, with a consistent pattern of escalation.

proof: she CAN jiggity jog around like a fat lazy school pony!!

So maybe it starts with a verbal cue — the same one I can use under saddle too — then maybe escalates to a kiss, then a cluck, then maybe tossing the end of the lunge rope onto the ground. And Doozy trots! Lazily!! And then usually breaks back to walk pretty quickly, omg!!

plenty to like in her more normal gait tho!!

And ya know, I let her LOL. Because actually, ymmv, but at this moment in time, I see more value in getting lots of repetitions in asking her to go forward, compared to how our rides have mostly been — ie, constantly trying to slow her down. 

As Sharon White would say, ‘no drama, just clarity!’

lol she practices her own forward and back transitions…

We keep that going for about 2 minutes, then walk quietly and calmly again for two minutes — changing directions etc. Then another 2min cycle of trot, followed by another 2min of walk. Always ending with an intentional active cycle of walk, bc again my whole purpose here is the relaxation first and foremost. 

baaaaaaasically the same thing, right??? hahaha…

We’ll probably increase the number of trot intervals in the round pen too, as well as maybe doing some light experimentation with side reins, but so far we’ve stuck with a simple session of about 15ish minutes, give or take, with 4min total of trot.

“brb, gotta go check on those chickens tho!”

After which, naturally, it’s time to ride!! We finish up with the round pen, then transition back out to the outdoor ring just like we would for any normal ride — with the free lunge serving hopefully as both a physical and mental warm up session. 

“CLUCK CLUCK, MOTHER FUCKERS!!!” — doozy, obsessed

And it’s been super interesting to see how Doozy feels after that. Like, her tension is deeply rooted and associative. This has been true for her since the day I brought her home: when she gets somewhere, she expects something to happen. So she gets to the outdoor and immediately anticipates. 

anyway. there’s a point to all this madness:: civilized trotting under saddle

But so far, so good — our rides so far using this new round-pen-integrated approach have been solid, with the mare able to accomplish another couple of 2min intervals at trot even while going large around the full ring. 

I don’t know why exactly she can suddenly maintain her gait after what is an undeniably basic ground work session. And who knows, maybe it isn’t the ground work at all but rather just a coincidence, the natural consequence of getting back into the habit, back in practice? 

“fiiiiine, i guess i can” ….. “but only if there are cookies involved!!” — doozy, negotiating

And sure, she still occasionally sneaks in some canter — but following our lesson with Matt, and also the conversation with Steph, I’ve let her just go with it. Large around the ring tho, rather than the small circles we worked on with Matt. Mostly bc.. Well.. Doozy can canter a very small circle, which… I’d rather not do a ton of at this moment in time. 

But also, more to the underlying point: forward is fine too.

rinse repeat, forever

Which, realistically, is mostly an issue of framing for me, and not the horse. On one hand, yes I want to be careful and conservative while moving Doozy thru this rehab phase. But ultimately the end goal is still to gallop across an open field on a soft contact, right?? 

And Doozy is actually a trained and capable horse at this point too. Chaotic and occasionally unhinged, obvi, but she does actually know things. So I’m feeling hopeful that we might finally be graduating to a more predictable (and measurable) phase of the rehab, finally able to track the minute markers and improve confidence around deciding when to go to the next step. 

Everything will be easier when she’s free to run and jump around like a lunatic haha, but for now it’s one light spin class at a time lol.

my wild orchid

We’re supposedly finally getting a reprieve from the intense heat dome that’s stretched across much of the country this past week… And not a day too soon, either. Endless days of triple digit ‘real feel’ temperatures are exhausting for everybody, bleh.

bunnies. bunnies everywhere

Well. Almost everybody, LOL! 

I like to joke that Doozy is impervious to heat, that she IS the heat, she is one with the hotness haha. The rest of us might be wilted and begging for mercy, but not Doozy!

106*F put the kibbosh on basically all riding tho
(also, feel free to ignore my tire pressure warning, as i do every day!)

Tho a friend was talking about how the orchids she planted outside were thriving and going wild with all the heat and humidity, and I was like, Aha! Maybe that’s the perfect analogy for Doozy!! I mean, we always knew she was a hot house flower anyway, right???

“garçon, my snacks!” — doozy, impatient

Anyway, she might not mind the conditions, but even I have my limits, so it’s been a fairly quiet week around these parts. Not really the worst thing in the world, given her current rehab status. 

Like, sure, I’m still all inspired from a lot of the conversations, feedback, and ideas I got from Windurra camp — and actually a few preliminary sessions prior to the heat dome felt really really promising in terms of getting us back on track on a more traditional rehab schedule. The mare actually trotted 4 whole minutes under saddle with zero shenanigans, no tiny circles required!!

sample serving of purina replenimash came in the windurra camp auditor’s goody bag

But all the same, time is still our best medicine for any sort of recovery, so a week off is just fine.

Tho obvi I’m still out to see Doozy every day just to check on her, scratch her bug bites, and feed her fancy snacks. As one does! That’s perhaps my favorite thing about being a thoroughbred person: it’s easy to just keep plugging her full of foodstuffs without really having to think too deeply about it lol.

doozy was a fan!

Like this fancy Purina RepleniMash that was part of the Windurra Camp swag bag. It’s marketed as basically a wholesome mash with ingredients like electrolytes and their Outlast gastric support product, intended as a supplement to regular feed, or quite literally, to “simply let your friend know you care.” (assuming, hopefully, that your friend isn’t an air fern!)

she’s still loving her triple crown stress free fortified forage too

Does Doozy already get a lot of gastric support from me? Do I already give her electrolytes? Yes and yes lol… But, eh, Doozy thought it was delicious, plus a nice big sloppy mash when it’s a million degrees out seems nice too, so I ordered a bag LOL. 

stübben grooming spray + a baby pelham in their fancy flexible plastic composite

I’ve also been eager to play with some other goodies from the camp swag bag — like this fancy grooming spray from Stübben! It’s different from other grooming sprays I’ve used bc alcohol is a main ingredient, but it’s supposed to make them super shiny and dirt repellent. So we’ll see!!

Oooh and the bit I ordered arrived too. It was not part of the swag bag, tho we did get a nice discount code to use. The baby pelham cheek pieces are apparently among Boyd’s favorites for a variety of reasons, but I’m also really interested in this mouth piece too. 

reader poll: is my bebe kitten already giant? or is this the littlest yeti you’ve ever seen?
(trick question, the answer is yes to both… they grow up so fast!)

Only time will tell if it goes into regular rotation for lessons or shows, or if it’s more of a specialty use bridle, like our hackamore. Time will also tell if this fancy flexible plastic material holds up any better than the rubber nathe Doozy chewed through in just a few short months, too.

“garçon! it’s spa time!!” doozy, itchy, ready for a cool down bath!

Regardless, I’m eager to give it a try, and get back to riding again too. We’re hopefully signing up to lesson with Matt Brown again in the near future, and ideally I’d like to show him a slightly… more civilized version of how we go this time around. 

this stuff usually lives in my trailer for rinsing off after lessons, but it’s the perfect refreshing rinse in these oppressive heat dome conditions

The new approach we started experimenting with prior to the heat dome includes a bit more ground work — a mishmash actually between feedback from Matt in our last lesson and also some pointers from Peter Wylde and Steph Simpson at the Windurra camp. And you already saw a few pictures from Doozy’s first foray into our at-home round pen. 

probably a lot of you are already familiar with this stuff, it’s got great ingredients

None of it is necessarily groundbreaking stuff in the grand scheme of things, probably it looks like exactly the type of routine practice and work that most people do with young or green horses.

kitten is trying to create his own spa day too,
natch by making a mess of my AC tower’s condensation drainage…

I’m learning with Doozy, tho, that so much of our success (or lack thereof) in deploying any given tactic or technique is honestly rooted in my own understanding, framing and approach. That it’s not enough for me to just do it with this horse, but I have to have a really clear sense of why, how, and for what purpose. 

#loveabletrouble

Bc at the end of the day, this horse is too sensitive to distinguish a muddled signal from all my noise, ya know? She hears it all, whether I mean it or not.

We’ll see, tho. Hopefully this week will be a bit more normal conditions, at least normal for July. So probably still moderately malevolent mugginess lol. I’ll take it, tho. We’re officially half way thru the year and I’m eager to keep chipping away at our 2026 goals!