reflecting

Happy Monday, friends — hope it was a good weekend for you all! Pro photos care of Erin Gilmore photography just arrived in the mail, so I thought it might be nice to reflect a bit on our most recent competition, Doozy’s official move up to BN!

sweet doozy trying her best to just…. trot on around lol

Obvi anybody who’s been following along around these parts for any length of time doesn’t really need to be convinced that I can occasionally over think things. ‘Self Doubt’ could quite literally be my middle name. And our weird roller coaster winter definitely didn’t help. 

Doozy had felt ready to think about moving up a full year ago. Remember we did a BN CT at Thornridge for *last* Halloween? Then she was stellar for the Sharon White xc clinic at BN, and I sent in an entry for one of Loch Moy’s winter derbies at BN thinking we’d never look back. 

my outfit choices were a direct reflection of me trying to manifest casual vibes lol, including opting to do all three phases in the same tack 

It’s funny, tho, bc after the wheels fell off this spring and we had to kinda break everything down into more ‘bite sized’ outings starting around June this year… Idk. It kinda forced me to reframe a little bit. Prioritize confidence building, not confidence proving — for BOTH of us. 

And when we did finally make it around a full three phase event in July, it felt fun and easy in a way I’ve never really experienced with eventing. Like, sure, everything is kinda hard sometimes with Doozy. **Mere existence** can sometimes be overwhelming, apparently. 

But the actual tests of the day? Especially the jumping phases? There were no questions in my head that we could just go out and put one foot in front of the other toward a completion. 

holy crap a pic of us cantering!! 

It’s like something clicked in my head. Like, OH. Ah. I see. It can be like this! And I basically spent the rest of the summer fully embracing the idea of getting out there and doing the things at a level that felt comfortable, easy and fun — while slowly but surely trying to smooth out all the other mere-existence-related wrinkles (like Doozy’s admittedly tough time in the warm up rings at Waredaca).

We did about an event per month this season, which is a bit less frequent than the typical area campaigners from what I can tell — but it felt / feels right for us. 

click for full size — also hit a new record for “obedient” comments LOL!

And I opted to splurge on an Area II Champs entry, knowing full well we weren’t really contenders or points chasers or anything. Historically with Charlie, I was always thinking about pushing ourselves at shows, vs dallying around for special classes or whatever. So this was a bit of a departure for me. 

oxers never looks as big in pictures as they do to me in person LOL

And it was great! Like, kinda a bit of a fussy experience with the multiple days of trailering etc LOL, and idk if I’ll do it again necessarily… But it was a great experience — I’m glad for the memories, and it was also just one more positive notch in the proverbial belt for Doozy. 

doozy being mature about jumping into our bending line <3

But ya know… It also kinda felt like time, right? Like, ok. We did a proper season. Did the recognized things. Qualified for and rode around the area champs… With still one good month left to go in the season. All signs pointed in the same direction: time to go for it. 

So I dutifully sent in an entry for the BN at Plantation Field’s starter trials, scheduled to happen the weekend after our lovely xc clinic with Sally at Windurra. 

Obvi, you’d be forgiven for not remembering reading about that event tho bc… Well. I scratched the night before for really no real reason at all, except that… idk. I didn’t feel right about it, didn’t feel ready, wasn’t in the right head space, had just one too many feelings of uncertainty bordering on that awful existential dread type feeling. 

strange little cedar oxer out of the water. i’ve seen it cause problems, but doozy clearly didn’t care

So yea. Fine. Scratch that, no big deal. Grace is a lovely gift that only we can give ourselves. 

I had just gotten so stuck in my head. Feelings of uncertainty about how the day would be set up — usually at least either sj or dressage is on grass, which one would it be? How would the xc course look — it’s normally pretty friendly looking but… it’s also been a while. 

And, in all honesty, I still remember Charlie’s somewhat uncharacteristically terrible day there back in 2018, at his second novice. If Doozy had the same type of atypical day, was our schooling level really ready enough to still get us around? And would I be emotionally resilient enough to not completely melt down if it went poorly? 

Basically. My answer to that question was, “No.” I thought it would cost me too much to have the same type of bad day Charlie had all those years ago. It also felt like I’d selected Plantation for not compelling enough reasons. Like, sure, a good event horse should be able to have consistent results at a variety of different venues and grounds. But… We already know Doozy thrives on consistency, so maybe choosing the familiarity of Loch Moy for a move up was ‘strategic’ instead of a cop out. 

i can’t tell for sure, but doesn’t it look like we might actually be stepping INSIDE the ditch????

Anyway. That’s a whole lot of navel gazing, let’s be real. But it’s also a fairly honest and accurate depiction of the mental hamster wheel going on inside my head. 

I felt instant relief after scratching Plantation… paired with a newer inner voice, quieter but equally persistent: I did want to try for BN, I did believe we were ready, and maybe all we really needed was a set of circumstances that felt more familiar, with fewer unknowns. 

So I sucked it up and sent in a (late) entry for the Loch Moy starter the very next weekend. Which, obvi felt possibly like throwing good money after bad since I’d literally just forfeited an entry fee lol. But ya know. Hurray for volunteerism guys bc BOTH these entries had pretty nice discounts applied anyway!

stunning mare + matching foliage <3 <3

I wasn’t quite finished with the mental hamster wheel, tho. In order to just keep the peace upstairs between my ears, I decided to ensure our entire approach to this event was suuuuuper low key and casual. No white pants — not even tan pants. Nope, went straight up with clothes I’d just as soon wear to a lesson. 

Ditto for Doozy — I only packed one set of tack. Not for any real reason other than: just not wanting to take it too seriously. Not wanting to even look too serious. We’ve gotten around just fine in our jump tack, and this would be no different. 

And ya know, it wasn’t any different — and we did get around just fine! Not perfect, obviously. But more than ‘just fine’ too, especially cross country! Doozy was such a super star! 

Ultimately, I’m super proud of both of us for keeping on with putting one foot in front of the other, all year long. My goal with Doozy has always been to continue growing my experience and education in this sport, and we definitely learned something deeply important this year about appreciating the scenic route <3 <3

biscuit does BN!!

Guys — we finally did it!! I finally took the plunge and rode Doozy around her first full three phase event at beginner novice, yay!!!

helmet cam snapshot post-xc of my sweetest mare’s face, since i apparently took exactly zero good pictures of her throughout the day!

Our progress together has been, without a doubt, the slowest boil of any horse I’ve ever gotten going. Not sure if that’s entirely bc of who Doozy is as a person, or if it’s just a combination of factors including where I am in my life and journey with horses. 

Regardless, tho, Isabel and I did our first BN together after just 2 lower level events. Charlie moved up to BN about 4 months + 4 starter trials after his first show. And Doozy? Well. Lol. She did her first CT in March 2024, ahem, has 8 three-phase completions at lower levels, plus all manner of other activities along the way.

arrived early enough for some low key grazing

But ya know. It’s always been apparent to me that the ‘difficulty’ of the level was never the biggest question with Doozy. Rather, it’s… all the everything else that we needed to work through and sort out, while keeping the “main event” of our actual rides relatively easy and drama free. 

carefully observing the xc finish line lol

And honestly I feel really good about our trajectory together so far. Doozy was a very good girl for her dressage warm up, even tho we almost got cantered into once or twice by wayward juniors. Oh, and xc started running right behind some shrubbery, which Doozy found a bit triggering… But even so, it was a really solid warm up. 

Lately I’ve been focusing on establishing a forward balance in front of the leg. Which, natch, is possible now that Doozy isn’t constantly racing off, slipping into canter at the least provocation.  

snackies for a good mare

And this soft balance in front of the leg, paired with a relatively soft contact that’s trying to push the mare’s neck out, meant we actually had a relatively decent (for us) test. It wasn’t perfect, obviously, still basically a ‘bottom of the class’ type score. 

She’s still tense, above the bit, tight, needs more bend, etc etc etc. But I was happy with our rhythm, geometry and pacing through the test. We got our leads without any fussy moments, were able to soften again even after a little bolt step in the first canter, and only had one little accidental break into canter during the second trot circle — but again, could still soften after.

jump 2 was a bit of a reality check that… whoops we’ve never really done oxers at this height

The ride-ability is slowly coming along. It doesn’t necessarily feel like much to show considering that basically all we ever do in lessons is flat work LOL… But ya know. C’est la vie! I’m happy, and that’s enough. 

i knew this line was supposed to be a 6, but we kinda splatted a bit when we got there early and i thought she’d go for it in 5, sorry mare!

Tho… part of me would realllllly like to do more real jumping in regular lessons LOL. As it is, virtually all our work over jumps with any height is done solo at home, with whatever I’m feeling brave enough to set up. Meaning mostly single fences and grids. 

‘twas not my best riding — note our severe crookedness here

So I kinda knew this show jumping course might be a somewhat, er, big ask of the horse. But again, we had a really solid warm up where I maintained that feeling of ‘forward in front of the leg’ — trotting along in a marching rhythm for way longer than I normally do. And it paid off!  

full disclosure: the mare 100% saved my ass

Doozy was super game around the course, even tho it was definitely a little impressive to both of us. Naturally the weekend I selected for our move up was also the weekend Loch Moy was running their starter series championship, so all the courses were totally maxed out. Including a big giant oxer at jump 2. Uh, oops. 

finished strong tho, and somehow only 2 rails for all my messiness!

Plus a two stride in-and-out…. since when does BN have in-and-out combinations??? Again, tho, Doozy got us around. I admit to not riding my best tho. I hadn’t walked the course so didn’t really know what to expect in some of the lines, plus I kinda missed a few turns.

the helmet cam doesn’t look quite as gritty as it felt

Doozy would have been blameless for opting out at multiple points in the course… But what a mare, she’s so game, she likes the jumping, she’s good at it, and she’s willing to fight for it. Obvi that’s not really a sustainable way of getting around lol, ideally I’ll calm down and get my shit together and pilot her a bit more reliably… 

finally, tho, our strongest phase!! got our only real ‘oopsies’ jump out of the way at 2

On this day, tho, it was enough to get around, bc I was pretty sure cross country was going to be an absolute blast!!

this log box doesn’t look like much, but something about it (maybe the vertical slats?) always catches a couple horses and riders off guard

The course was freakin lovely, lots of nice big inviting fences and almost everything placed on rising ground. No insanely steep ups or downs, and enough of a challenge to keep us occupied every step of the way. 

so mature for the bending line!

Doozy left the start box fantastically — no explosiveness at all! Then we had maybe our iffiest jump at 2, a nice big roll top that we kinda launched at and landed in a run… Took a minute to get organized after that but then 3-4-5-6 were all close enough together that we kinda stayed on the ‘straight and narrow’ from then on. 

baby’s first corner — another fence shared with novice! also note the sneakily tricky landing. better have a plan for that tree well in advance!

Obviously it’s been a minute since I’ve gone around BN, Charlie’s last BN was March 2018 after all… But this definitely felt like a properly stout course for the level, again likely bc it was set for the series championship. Like, omg we had a corner! It was an option for my class, we could have jumped the table on the left in the pic above instead if we wanted, but c’mon — a corner!! Obvi Doozy would nail it!!

our little cedar oxer (just to the left of that white-ish roll top) was set on a somewhat rakish angle to the water

Honestly she nailed just about everything. I still trotted her into the water just to be safe — esp given our next jump is a funny little timber oxer that I’ve seen cause problems. It was set on a weird angle to the water too, so I just wanted to give it the proper respect.

steeplechase!! these always look big to me but they jump great!
also, omg the foliage in the pro photos is insane, i can’t wait til they arrive!

It didn’t seem to matter, tho, Doozy was locked and loaded. She just marched right on around wherever I pointed her. Cedar oxer? Cool. Baby ditch that we jumped last month? Nbd. She got a little strong for the next to jumps leading into the woods, but then was literally foot perfect for the final leg of the course.

this ‘rolex barn’ was properly large! then straight ahead to the last jump and finish line!

They had some properly impressive jumps in the woods too — the steeplechase roll (tho it wasn’t brushed up for BN) and this crazy ‘rolex barn’ looking thing that isn’t overly wide in terms of top spread, but definitely used up every inch of allowable height lol. 

what fun, and doozy was 100% up for the challenge!

Doozy felt incredible the whole way around — sorta this visceral awareness over the last few jumps of just what a special and lucky feeling it is to jump around on a horse like this!

obsessed with this sweet little xc machine <3 <3 <3

In a way I think Doozy was overdue for a more challenging course. It felt like she was paying the jumps more attention, and was therefore easier to rate and ride all the way around. It also felt like she was using herself better, vs sorta just cantering largely over the jumps. 

All in all, I’m just so happy with how the day went for us — a properly satisfying end to our season. Our inauspicious start to the year wasn’t what I’d hoped or imagined, but honestly I think we’re better for it. It forced us onto a different trajectory than I’d planned, but one that’s proved to be more leisurely and confidence-building. If this is what the future holds with Doozy, I’m all in!!!

schooling at windurra

Happy Wednesday, folks!! I promise not to be too wordy, but we have a metric shit ton of media today, woot woot!! Doozy and I had another xc lesson at Windurra with local legend, Sally Cousins, fresh off her impressive finish with Wizard in the 3* at Fair Hill!

grazing serenely when we first arrived <3
(tho yes i promise she did get more amped after i got on)

Honestly I think Doozy and I really had a nice little routine going with our solo xc schooling trips to Tranquillity this summer and last fall. There’s something to be said about just going out and doing what you wanna do, without making a whole big thing of it. 

warm up loggoes!!

But there’s a time and a place for everything, right? And now that Doozy and I have a relatively established baseline of experience and comfort, it feels appropriate to seek professional guidance to start fine tuning and adding more (level-appropriate + progressive) challenge.

oooh right away starting with the jumps we finished on last time

And Sally is such a pro at that. Teaching is a huge part of her business model, and for a very good reason: she’s good at it. She has loads of regular students, even more like me who flit in and out on a semi-infrequent basis over the years, and presumably countless straight up strangers riding in her clinics. 

normalizing <3

Over time, she’s developed a keen eye for feeling out horses and riders, and guiding them through appropriate and progressive exercises. It also helps that she knows Windurra inside and out, she’s always super familiar with how everything is set up, and knows how to string exercises together in all the various ‘zones.’ 

sally is so progressive about introducing things like cut outs etc

My goals for this ride were simple: Listen to Sally. Don’t get too stuck in my head. Prioritize confidence and relaxation. Listen to Sally.

trit-trotting to the little bank!

And we totally did exactly that! Sally started us off right away stringing things together — first some small logs, then a line of starter jumps, then introducing those ‘slightly smaller than BN height, but definitely more spread than starter’ jumps we finished with last time, and then right onto actual BN stuff. 

another nice roll top

Doozy was more or less being quite good. She gets a little stuck and behind the leg and snarled up in a pretzel every time we pick up for our turn, but I just did my best to kinda ignore it and just ride her forward, oozing into a flow as drama-free as possible. 

omg a **real** ditch aaaah lol (still quite narrow tho!)

Sally’s biggest feedback for us was that I need to focus on straightness to the fence (sound familiar?), and that we need to be organizing **right away** on landing. She said I’ve got about 2-3 strides on landing before Doozy kinda bolts away, and that I need to act quickly in that time — the longer I wait to half halt, the stronger the half halt will need to be. 

this was definitely the biggest thing we jumped, esp re: spread. caught us both a little by surprise

While technically this is legit the opposite of some of the work we’ve done with Woodge on exaggerating that big release exactly at the moment Doozy would expect me to pull, I think these two concepts actually can live in harmony. I need to practice the release so that the half halt works when we need it, like when jumping cross country. 

doozy nailed the super fun mini course!

Mostly tho, Sally advised that I don’t over think it. Ride the horse forward, connected and straight. I’ll know it’s working when… I get the result that I want. It really is that simple. 

last exercise of the day (tho we repeated once more to clean up the house)

Anyway we put a few fun features together — jumped a little ditch, and did slightly more grown up variations of the bank and water complex exercises we did last time, and it was good!

omg guys we are growing up!!

It was interesting tho, with the larger jumps (esp a properly chunky house by the ditch that I suspect exceeds BN dimensions at least in width but possibly height too), Doozy a couple times had to dig a little deep, try a little harder. And it kinda surprised her, I think. 

lol went a lil’ extra there, dooz!

Not necessarily in a bad way, but just like, “Oh wow, ok I really do need to work a bit here!” And it led to a few more squirrelly efforts than either of us are used to — first at that chunky house, and then at a couple subsequent jumps when Doozy was maybe feeling a bit less sure.

a bit jittery at the house, but we cleaned it up to finish

It was a good experience for us both, tho, bc obviously… yes the horse can do it, but also yes we both need to stay committed and forward. 

full helmet cam video!!

And it gave Doozy a chance to sorta keep pushing through after a harder-than-usual effort, and smooth it out and gain confidence. She was an actual super star through the little bank complex mini course, and honestly made quite easy work of that somewhat technically challenging line through the water.

sweet mare barely broke a sweat <3 <3

All in all, a really great experience for us both, I think. There are a lot of little details that are obvi still a bit of a mess, but I can also really feel a lot of improvements in the mare even just from all our work with the recorded ride guides. 

Plus it’s just exciting to be doing this again!! It’s kinda crazy wandering around Windurra and gawking incredulously at some of the stuff I jumped a lifetime ago with Charlie… But equally exciting to be forging a new set of memories with this special little red mare <3 <3

blowing up the balloon

The shorter days (and looming rainstorms in the forecast) have me feeling eager to maximize our outdoor jump ring while we still can. Given that there are no lessons booked this week, plus a fresh course set up at home, everything felt right for a jump school!

sweet biscuit can’t be bothered to look at the camera lol

And naturally I opted to bring along my helmet camera to try to film as much of the ride as possible - including our Brit Bot facilitated warm up on the flat. 

brace yo’self for more fence-mounted helmet cam snapshots lol

I don’t know exactly the dimensions of this ring, but suspect the width is around 40m (maybe slightly less). So it’s actually pretty easy to treat the far end, which is currently empty of jumps, as its own little 20x40m space, more or less. 

i didn’t do a great job of positioning the camera, c’est la vie

Tho it proved a bit tricky to capture that space (extending to the left side of the frame above) AND the jumping exercises with the camera. So I ended up not making a video of the flat work portion bc it was too choppy with us going in and out of frame. It was still helpful to watch, tho!

working hard on ride ability at the canter

I felt **really** good about this ride, like we’re really consistently staying together on the aids. Doozy is able to maintain a much steadier rhythm, and isn’t ping-ponging off in every direction. I like it! And actually the biggest change from all this is being able to start actually pushing her up in front of the leg now.

proof that i didn’t actually break the right lead depart

Like we’ve made the shift away from “racing off on the forehand” and now I need to focus on not accidentally being too quiet. 

look who’s learning to hold her own self together!

And Doozy is so smart, she’s starting to learn and anticipate some of these exercises from the recorded ride guides. Like the middle section of the longer session — where we do the trot-canter-trot-canter exercises on the figure-8 of 20m circles. 

We’ve been practicing that recently and it’s been great — but now if she is anticipating, she’s actually more likely to suck back a bit and get braced and fragile feeling. 

everyone loves walk breaks lol

Which, ya know, is a new and sort of exciting change, and a good opportunity for me to start learning how to calibrate pushing her up in front of the leg. Recall at last month’s starter trial at Loch Moy, our jump round was a little bleh for this exact reason — when she’s not so amped and dragging me to the fences, I need to be ready to fill that void and create the forward balance. 

back to work! 

In my head, I imagine it a bit like putting more air into a balloon. Just a little bit at a time, not so much that I risk popping it with tension — but enough to keep everything together and firm, vs sorta flimsy and noodle-y.

jompy time! this was our 4th jump in the video but is at the other end of the ring

And anyway, this felt like the perfect feeling to take into the jumping. I want to get back to consistently jumping BN+ height again — but without being frantic or racey about it. Just wanna keep working on that nice steady rhythmic canter that’s easy to find a distance out of. 

our little grids are starting to look a little more formidable! 
distances are roughly 21’ to 33’

And Doozy was super! Especially considering the last time we really jumped was at the area champs show. She was super balanced and on the aids, again a testament I think to our little Brit Bot friend.

normalizing 2’7

We started with a couple X’s, including one with 9’ landing and takeoff poles that is a bit tricky to see from the video bc it’s at the far end of the ring. You can see tho the canter circles we do to prepare for that exercise, and how quickly (relatively) Doozy is able to adjust from a sorta racing-just-landed canter to the more gymnastic balance we wanted for that exercise. 

easy breezy!

From there, I sorta just looped around, catching mostly single fences on bending approaches. We progressed from the X’s to that skinny set of boxes set to 2’6 pretty quickly, which just reinforces again for me that Doozy is (has been, let’s be real) more than ready for slightly bigger jumps. 

didn’t even rush, good girl

And obvi that feeling held even more true when she was able to go straight into the triple combination (set slightly lower than 2’6 but still properly visually imposing!), then come back to trot for another X, then finish with the final vertical above.

video of the course

In a way, I’m kinda grateful that this year unfolded the way it did. It wasn’t what I expected it to be, and the set back this spring after so much time off in late winter really kinda caught me off guard. But on the balance, I think it’s been good for us to take things so slowly. 

Doozy has always been a brave horse, but she feels more confident now — like she has more tools and awareness in the jumping, like speed isn’t her only answer any more. 

cookies for a good mare <3

Tho ya know. It might also be time to start developing the next set of recorded ride guides haha. Gotta keep things fresh and progressive, right? Any special requests on exercises or formatting / style?