windurra: the unmounted sessions

The Windurra Camp curriculum was truly designed to be a 360* immersion into the performance ecosystem. Because as we all know, there’s more — FAR more — to success with horses than just what happens in the saddle. Arguably, a solid comprehensive system will get you sustainably farther than just talent or resources alone.

As performance coach Natalie Hummel said in her kickoff keynote session “Think Like A Champion,” Boyd’s system is set up so that it would literally take more work for him to stop, than it would to keep executing the plan to be World #1.

Natalie Hummel opened the camp with a group session on framing mindset

So she opened the camp with a talk intended to provide riders and participants with a framework to establish sustainably healthy mentality, accountability and intentionality. 

The material would be familiar to anybody who has listened to Natalie’s podcasts or RideIQ sessions, but essentially she focused on shortening emotional recovery time. Everybody makes mistakes, it’s inevitable — and the temptation to get stuck into the drama is hard to resist. But that drama, or the dwelling, is basically just wasteful consumption of what may be limited resources of energy, attention, stamina, etc.  

ah yes. all my red flags LOL

So she talked about the “Notice - Reset - Recover” process, comparing it to “how many strides does it take to bring your horse from an extended to collected gait (Editor’s note: this is a major recurring theme across the whole camp). Specifically, “Feel your feelings, then carry on” and stay in the moment.

Her C.H.A.M.P. framework is designed to help riders recognize and name the common pitfalls or emotional obstacles to improve awareness, recovery and resetting to: Composure, Humility, Alignment, Mastery, and Performance Standard. Scan the QR code below if you’re interested in more material.

scan the code if you’re interested in more material

For me, and actually for many session participants, that “Composure” element is a pretty big one… And not gonna lie, when I got back to the barn later that evening, I explained very carefully to Doozy** that “Composure” would be our vocabulary word of the day for… ever, probably LOL.

And another little mantra from Natalie: Taking feedback is not the same as dwelling or fixating. She suggested asking ourselves in a difficult moment, “WWBD” (what would Boyd do?), with the answer: “Win this Moment.” You can’t carry a mistake forward, you can’t ride yesterday’s round or yesterday’s horse, you can’t be stuck on the last jump when another is right in front of you. Whether we like it or not, our horses demand that we stay present in the moment with them.

(**Who was a hot fucking mess bc her fields did a normal rotation but she had ended up turned out alone in a new paddock for a couple hours in the changeover and was very very sad about it…)

 

Xander from Stübben led a deep dive session on bitting

Obviously readers won’t be surprised that the sports psychology session resonated with me, as that’s an area I’ve personally spent a LOT of time working on in myself over the last few years… But let’s keep moving through this 360* ecosystem, shifting gears to the Stübben session on a key piece of equipment in our sport: bits. 

Boyd tag-teamed this session with Stübben product designer and internationally recognized bitting specialist Xander Boere, with demonstrations conducted by a working student whose name I missed (sorry!) but who has started the FEI eventing levels with his thoroughbred gelding.

one of boyd’s working students did the bitting demo ride on a sensitive slightly insecure but lovely and very willing thoroughbred gelding. 

Boyd talked a lot about his own favorite bits, and especially the reality that while he may have literally hundreds in his collection, he probably uses the same three or four 95% of the time (regular snaffles, twisted snaffles for jumping, and a baby Pelham). Xander, meanwhile, emphasized that your bitting solution needs to support a good contact, and that without that contact and connection, you lose the body of the horse.

He advised riders to use bits they like the feeling of, that the horse also likes. Realistically some horses will just get offended at some bits or some points of pressure, so a little trial and error may be needed. 

A general guideline he offered was that a smoother reaction that takes longer to work is “better” than the alternative of a quicker reaction that’s less smooth, bc you can always keep finessing and refining the training from there. 

boyd, looking deep in thought lol

Key topics in the talk included reviewing cheek piece styles, mouth pieces, materials, and best practices for fit. For example, a loose ring bit wants a finger of space on either side of the mouth to avoid pinching, but an eggbutt can be much closer. 

The baby Pelham is one of Boyd’s favorites — especially for his working students who might be hacking or exercising his horses — bc its action helps bring the horse’s head down and back up without a lot of fussing or tinkering in the connection. Alternatively, the three ring can help with raising a horse’s head up, tho you may sacrifice some hollowness in the back. 

Most of Boyd’s horses will flat in their ‘normal’ bit 90% of the time, but there may be certain scenarios where it’s helpful to change it up. For example, after a show when the horse is feeling tight in his back, or before a show during ring familiarization — these are both examples of a time where you can move back and forth between bits to help the horse understand and achieve the beneficial posture with minimal fuss.

doozy is clearly so excited to put my takeaways to work as we keep chugging along in the rehab

Xander also highlighted a new plastic compound Stübben is using for their bits. It’s his feeling that rubber as a bit material is basically outdated technology — that rubber is actually too drying and too prone to wear and tear. The plastic, on the other hand, encourages a wetter mouth and is less likely to get chewed up. 

I actually ordered a baby Pelham in the plastic material (with the same mouthpiece as the kimberwick Boyd’s holding above) using the clinic discount, and will report back!

(Editor’s note: another major theme from the clinic — an ever-growing shopping list LOL)

head groom / operations manager / boyd’s-right-hand-man Steph’s personal horse was an extremely willing participant as demo horse in Dr Kevin Keane’s session

As with anything with horses, there really aren’t any hard and fast rules or requirements here — the horses haven’t read the textbooks and all our experiences will vary slightly. If you’re interested in getting more personalized feedback or even a fitting, it might be worth reaching out to either a rep or independent fitter in your area!

And same caveat with the next session, “When do you NEED the vet?” with Kevin Keane, DVM. He was crystal clear that these are really just informal guidelines and helpful highlights based on the experiences of the professionals leading these sessions. When in doubt (or in urgent need!) — turn to your trusted tribe.

Kevin’s an accomplished vet and also an accomplished eventer in his own right!

Apparently Boyd’s head groom* Steph suggested this topic to Kevin, so he put together a remarkably concise and clear list, and talked through each aspect — including why it matters to his practice.

The session started with a review of measuring Temperature / Pulse / Respiration (TPR), the relative normal ranges, and the circumstances where variance is totally ok and non-emergent. His main point was to encourage folks to be comfortable enough with these metrics to be ready able and willing to provide them in a call to the vet should a situation arise, so vets can triage their response. 

(*A wildly underwhelming title for the person who by all accounts is a major driver in overall program operations…)

great session on when do you NEED your vet

Then he went through his emergency list — specifically, the situations where he feels it’s appropriate for a vet to make an emergency visit to see the horse immediately, vs scheduling an appointment. The list is:

1 - Eye: pain, tearing, shut, discoloration. Especially if you live in a warmer climate like Florida, apparently the fungal pathology can get very bad, very fast.

2 - Uncontrolled bleeding. The blood vessels get larger higher up the leg, as does the scale of blood loss. He reminded the audience that in emergencies, you want to do what it takes to save the horse first — and worry about complications later. Example: use the tourniquets or vet wrap around delicate structures etc. if that’s what it takes to save the horse

3 - Lacerations need stitches if the skin edges are separated. K.I.S.S.

#justwindurrathings

4 - Colic: painful abdomen. Again, he reminded the audience that there are a LOT of other organs in the abdomen beyond just the guts, and that uncontrolled pain can be a big deal. You’ll want to be able to tell the vet your horse’s TPR (prior to administering banamine or any other drugs!)

5 - Choke: food material coming out of nostrils. Horses that are choking for a long time are at increased risk of dehydration, compounding the emergency. Soaking food is a good way to reduce risk.

6 - Lameness: affecting horse’s mobility. The distinction between an emergency call and scheduling an appointment can be fuzzier here, but is basically related to whether the horse can actually get around or not - esp to get to the water bucket. When in doubt, make the call.

7 - Neurological status change. Biggest issue here is safety to the humans and other horses who may be in the same space as an ataxic horse.

the conditioning pond: shallow water, peacefully ensconced within some shrubbery, best enjoyed as a quiet group activity

It’s probably a safe bet that if you pinned Kevin down to keep meditating on this question for another couple of hours, days or weeks, the list might get a little longer… Or maybe there’s something you would add to or clarify about that list, based on your own experiences??  Honestly, tho, I appreciated the simplicity and focus on the most common situations. 

Ultimately, his most emphatic advice to the audience was to develop a good relationship with your team — your vets, farriers, trainers, etc., so that if the unthinkable happens, you’ve got the resources you need.

i would like to please special order an exact copy of this round pen for doozy LOL

Whew, ok, are you still with me? I know this is a lot of information packed into a single post, but hang in there — we are shifting to the last topic addressed in the various unmounted sessions, which you may have guessed based on the last few pictures: Conditioning!

I saved this for last because I’m honestly most interested in adapting or modifying to fit my situation, vs trying to replicate a 5* fitness program for Doozy. Thanks but, uh, no thanks!

doozy’s first time in our home round pen — complete with chicken coops LOL

The horses at Windurra spent a LOT of time conditioning — the vast majority of their ridden time falls more into this category than “proper schooling.” A typical session for a horse could include hacking out with a working student for 20min before being delivered to Boyd for a dedicated ~20min schooling ride, flat or jumping, then picked up by another working student for a second cool down hack.

Very rarely would a horse go straight from the arena back to the stall — they’ll at least walk the drive way or do a loop around the fields. Something. Variety in location, footing, terrain — it’s all part of the program.

For more intentional conditioning hacks — let’s say an hour of walk/trot out in the woods and fields — the horses trot on the flat and uphill sections, walk on downhill. Boyd said he’s not too insistent on frame through this work, only that the horse isn’t upside down or inverted. He wants the back to be soft, but the work is more about the heart and lungs vs muscles.

“what the fuck with that rooster tho” — doozy, being tall but composed

Peter Wylde offered some perspectives on connecting the conditioning to the schooling in his various sessions (more on all that in a later post!). He said he’s fond of free lunging a horse (if you have a safe secure space like a round pen) for ~5min each direction in loose relatively passive side reins — either connected to the side or just down to the girth. Then remove the side reins and do another few minutes each way. 

He also likes integrating more passive conditioning style work into his warm ups — including getting up off the horse’s back and letting them go 3-4 times around the ring. Not running or chasing, just a low frame, free back, sending the horse forward but letting him take a deep breath. This is apparently an approach Michael Jung uses even in his dressage warm ups.

and then off on a semi-serene hack! better than fully-feral, amirite?

Steph Simpson added some additional nuance to those thoughts in what turned out to be a 1:1 discussion on conditioning on the last day when a lot was going on and I was the only one who showed up LOL. It was super cool tho bc we really got into the weeds on my own special critter, Ms Mondeuse. 

And, well. Basically, Steph said her impression of my description of where we are with the rehab (on one hand progressing slower bc we don’t have a ton of control; on the other hand introducing more complicated flatwork sooner for… the same reason LOL) was that it sounds like a “Hostage Situation,” except she’s not sure which of us is the hostage. Oh. My. God.. haha…hahaha??

doozy maybe you’ll be grown up one day

She talked about the slow canter / galloping program they use to leg up the horses in the winter, and wondered if a similar structure (in concept if not in intensity) might suit Doozy? 

Basically, all along I’ve had this idea that Doozy doesn’t need to be fit. I don’t WANT her to be fit. Thanks, but dear god no thanks… Except, that approach might be missing a key concept that was another major recurring theme throughout the whole camp: You have to find ways to let the horse succeed, let them do what they’re good at, find salvation in the forward. 

And guys… Well. Doozy is good at running lol. It’s like her lungs are in her feet, she never really takes a breath until we’re settling in at canter. There’s a reason cross country is our easiest phase, ya know?

So Steph suggested adapting their slow canter (aka quasi gallop) program into my work — as appropriate with the rehab schedule — starting with 2-3 minutes of continuous canter in week 1, sticking with it long enough to get over the “hump” of what might an explosive start lol. Then for the next couple weeks, adding in a second 2-3 minute interval. Then increasing again to a third interval for another few weeks, etc. Eventually their horses get up to 5 intervals of a mile each, tho obvi that’s not my goal. 

Rather, Doozy’s goal would be to integrate this type of work into our system to 1) alleviate the hostage crisis; and 2) create a more productive connection for practicing the “forward and back” that will be a major theme in the Dressage and Show Jumping posts.

We’ll see lol — does any of that conditioning work align with your program? Or any thoughts / ideas / comments from the other sessions on sports psychology, bitting, or vet work? Or maybe you’re just waiting for me to get on with the good stuff — the ridden sessions?? lol… 

on taking the plunge

I participated in my 75th yoga class this week, which feels like a good milestone moment to check in on what I’ve learned and what it means for me, particularly through the lens of my horsey endeavors and goals for the year. 

Not so much from a physical tactical exposition of how the poses align with good equitation (answer: they do!) or whether that means I’ve seen massive improvements in my own position as a result (answer: not really!). But rather, there are other observations I’ve made from the practice that resonate possibly on a deeper level.

“oh boy, here she goes again….” — doozy, probably

In particular, a teacher offhandedly mentioned the book Eastern Body, Western Mind in class one day, so naturally I downloaded it. While driving to our first event last month, I listened to the chapter on a parable of describing a stream — first from the perspective of an observer on the banks, and then again from the perspective of being fully immersed in the stream.

Perhaps, while observing from the banks, you might note the stream’s size, width, color, the surrounding foliage, how it looks and sounds. But upon taking that step down from edge and into the stream, your perception might change entirely. Now you might describe the stream from a more sensory perspective — the temperature of the water, the texture of the riverbed beneath your feet, the push and pull of currents.

everything looks (and feels!) a little different from that first person perspective!

The gist is that there are two modes of “knowing” a thing: observing from the outside, vs experiencing from within. Description vs participation. And that there’s this threshold moment, transition, inflection point when you take that step into.

Obviously readers who have been around for a while (or perhaps even just those observant enough to note the title of this website) will know I’ve spent a lot of time grappling with the subjects of fear, anxiety and confidence. And this little parable about observing the stream from outside vs inside is, I think, an illuminating way to consider the idea of anxiety. 

Anxiety is inherent to the transition, the decision to act, to step in. It’s a visceral response to this idea of crossing into uncertainty. We can spend a lot of time thinking about why that is — perhaps it’s fear of failure, performance anxiety, fear of the unknown… Maybe it’s all of those things. 

casually observing professionals doing professional things from the sidelines is… not quite the same

To observe from the sidelines maybe feels safer, there’s more control, more predictability, less exposure. There are different levels of proximity, too — for example, if we’re thinking about horse shows, observing from the distance of a volunteer at a show, or going to cheer on a friend, is ‘closer’ than watching a video on social media. And maybe this sorta incremental inching closer to the edge is a way to create familiarity or “dip your toes in.” 

But I think the point of the story that sticks with me is that it is the act of immersion itself that changes perception and perspective. 

I’ve often said that I love volunteering bc it normalizes the whole horse show experience — including witnessing countless little (or big) mistakes throughout the day that generally are just nbd, just part of the process, and not worth letting yourself get paralyzed from action bc of them.

pictured: not quite the same LOL, but still fun ;)

That’s not really what this story is saying, tho. Rather, it’s saying that the act itself is experienced so differently from however you may have described it as an observer, that it bears almost no resemblance. In other words, ‘how it looks’ never truly encompasses how it feels. Which means it’s possible to miss key details, perhaps the most important.

And this can cut both ways, right? Like at one of my worst ever horse shows with Charlie, at Plantation Field, where we retired after multiple refusals… We have literally ALL seen horses have refusals. It happens. It’s not the end of the world. But in that moment? To me? Well. The fact that I’m still talking about it all these years later is clear enough indication that the experience left a heavy mark.

Meanwhile, last month when Doozy and I had a refusal on course… the experience itself was completely different, and in fact I still walked away feeling like we’d had a great day — even tho literally anybody could have looked at the scoresheet after the fact and pegged our performance as ‘poor.’

fun fact — i was SUPER ANNOYED at Area II Champs last year bc i forgot to pack a saddle pad for show jumping and had to settle for a janky trailer spare… but tell me (and be honest) — who noticed the mouse pee before i pointed it out??

For me, that’s kinda the big lesson here. That what we might have thought from the outside often shifts when we’re actually in the moment, doing the thing. Perceptions of what might constitute failure — or success! — can shift from hypothetical to contextual, becoming less about judgment and more about adjustment.

For me, recognizing this is actually helping me grow my confidence. It’s not just a matter of feeling more prepared or more ‘ready,’ but actually that repeatedly immersing myself in the experience proves that, ‘Yes, I can handle this!’ and that the existential feelings of doom and dread of possible failure are… maybe actually a bit overblown. Actually, the water’s fine!

constantly working hard to reframe my goal… it’s not about eliminating anxiety or perfect performance… but just simply getting in and trusting it 

And back to the 75 yoga classes, obviously it’s not a perfectly analogous activity to leaving the start box on cross country… the scope and scale is obviously entirely different. But it’s still a matter of showing up. Getting into the moment. Practicing doing the thing, getting into the flow. Repeatedly proving to myself that, “Yep I can!”

I think, for me at least and ymmv, integrating this sort of practice and intentionality has been a big longterm goal for me. Horses are hard, the sport is hard, it can be a rollercoaster. But actually, at the end of the day, there’s nothing quite like the feeling of actually splashing around in the stream, experiencing it first hand!

2026: What we pay attention to, grows

I’ve been reflecting recently on Doozy’s and my year together in 2025. It was, on the balance, pretty excellent — even with lots of lessons and learnings to carry forward into the new year.

And for whatever reason, that’s where my thoughts keep landing: the time ahead of us. Perhaps I’ll still get around to reviewing the past year in formal posts (it is winter, after all, with every reason to predict more snowbound doldrums lol), but for today I wanna talk about what’s on my mind and set my intentions: I want 2026 to be about showing up well — mentally, physically, and structurally — and creating conditions where positive experiences can happen often, with clarity, sustainability, and repeatability.

To dig into the details a bit, I’m breaking out three key elements to that intention: my mental space, physical capacity, and structural design + approach.

it ain’t always the easiest partnership, but i’m excited to see what comes of it in the year ahead!

Mental Space

I want to continue being intentional about mindset, emotional approach, and overall framing of how I participate in this sport. Realistically, anybody who’s been reading knows this has already been a major focus in recent years.

It’s been a real journey realigning my mindset to a process-oriented vs outcomes-focused approach. To release myself from the idea of “failure” and instead embrace that every experience is just more data. And that nobody will care more than I do.

And all that work paid off in tangible ways in 2025 — especially when it came to just getting out the door, doing the things, and actually enjoying myself in the process.

pictured: enjoying myself <3

That doesn’t mean it’s easy, or that the hard days disappeared. It’s honestly a constant effort — especially with a horse as uniquely challenging for me as Doozy. Sometimes it looks like pushing myself past my existential dread, but sometimes it’s also about adjusting expectations or even scratching when that’s the right call (Plantation being a recent example).

In 2026, I want to keep paying attention to how I show up: staying focused on process over outcome, and feeling present rather than pressured. I also want to leave myself some space — for fatigue, burnout, or the realities of life outside the barn. What we pay attention to grows, and this is something I want to keep growing.

Physical Capacity

On the flip side of the same coin, I want to bring more attention to my physical wellbeing and health in 2026. It feels like one of those universal jokes that as decades of horse experiences really start translating into a deeper knowledge (dare I say, wisdom?), the body…. Miiiiiight be heading in the opposite direction.

just trying to keep up with this spitfire mare!

Between age, accumulated wear and tear, old injuries, and the double-edged sword of a fulfilling career that keeps me hunched over a computer for long hours each day, it isn’t getting any easier to stay physically well, strong, whole, and present in the saddle. My strength, flexibility, and stamina aren’t what they used to be — but they also don’t feel gone entirely. Let’s say atrophied dormant rather than lost.

It’s been easy to rationalize that I’ve historically been sufficiently strong and fit just as a byproduct of my normal horsey habit. And ok, things slipped a bit in recent years as Charlie eased into retirement… but surely I would snap back as Doozy really got going, right? Ahem, cough cough. Perhaps I didn’t give enough credit to the fact that my horsey habit was “enough” when I was 10 years younger, taking 2+ lessons a week, AND doing barn work LOL.

literally the prettiest mare <3

So. In 2026, I want to be more proactive in building my strength and stamina outside of saddle time or lessons. Not in pursuit of some ideal version of fitness, but to be as strong and effective a partner for Doozy as I can be, and to make sure I’m getting the most out of our lessons. What we pay attention to, grows — and at least in this moment, my willful blindness to this reality is over.

Continuing Education and Lessons

I say this every year, and I always mean it: I want to keep learning, developing, and pushing my skill set. A big part of that continues to be lessons with qualified professionals.

perhaps we’ll go back to Area II champs again next year??

I still catch myself pining for the setup we had in 2015 — weekly lessons with a 5* rider at home, plus regular ship-outs for jumping and dressage within <30min drive. That was a halcyon age I didn’t fully appreciate at the time. These days, especially this winter, getting to a proper jumping lesson generally means shipping 1-1.5hrs each way.

In 2026, instead of dismissing that reality as “unsustainable” and rationalizing that “I can get by well enough on my own!” I want to make it work. That means more planning ahead, and obvi all the associated time / energy / resources of travel, but it’ll be worth it. At the same time, I’ll keep looking for creative ways to bring good education a little closer to home.

Competitions

I want to keep competing in 2026, without attaching that to specific goals around levels, qualifications, or results. The focus instead is on staying present and producing predictable, repeatable experiences — especially in the dressage, but also in the show jumping.

ideally we’ll have more to show than just being super shiny in our dressage tests LOL

Some of that should come naturally from continued education and better preparation, but it’s important enough to name explicitly. Last season reinforced the value of early, low-pressure, bite-sized outings as a way for both of us to dip our toes in, build comfort, and set ourselves up for success. That’s definitely a lesson I want to carry forward.

Equine Management

This also ties into Doozy’s overall management, obvi a fairly critical element of overall program design. I’m really happy with how she responded to the care and management choices we made over the past year and hope to carry on as we have been.

That said, nothing here is static or fixed or set in stone. She’s an animal, and her needs shift — with the seasons, with workload, and especially with changes in grass and pasture. In 2026, the goal is to keep paying attention, stay flexible, and continue adjusting her wellness routines in ways that support her soundness, comfort, and mental freshness.

literally the sweetest mare, just gotta keep the hamsters all running in the same direction!

Setting Doozy up for success starts long before we ever get on the trailer, and this is an area I want to keep approaching thoughtfully and proactively.

Seems straight forward enough, right?? Or maybe that’s all a little vague and woo-woo and lacking the specificity necessary to be accountable, as far as you’re concerned. And maybe you’re right LOL. But eh, it’s horses. Anything can happen. For now, tho, this feels like the right course to chart. Anyone else starting to think about goals for the upcoming year?  

reflecting

Happy Monday, friends — hope it was a good weekend for you all! Pro photos care of Erin Gilmore photography just arrived in the mail, so I thought it might be nice to reflect a bit on our most recent competition, Doozy’s official move up to BN!

sweet doozy trying her best to just…. trot on around lol

Obvi anybody who’s been following along around these parts for any length of time doesn’t really need to be convinced that I can occasionally over think things. ‘Self Doubt’ could quite literally be my middle name. And our weird roller coaster winter definitely didn’t help. 

Doozy had felt ready to think about moving up a full year ago. Remember we did a BN CT at Thornridge for *last* Halloween? Then she was stellar for the Sharon White xc clinic at BN, and I sent in an entry for one of Loch Moy’s winter derbies at BN thinking we’d never look back. 

my outfit choices were a direct reflection of me trying to manifest casual vibes lol, including opting to do all three phases in the same tack 

It’s funny, tho, bc after the wheels fell off this spring and we had to kinda break everything down into more ‘bite sized’ outings starting around June this year… Idk. It kinda forced me to reframe a little bit. Prioritize confidence building, not confidence proving — for BOTH of us. 

And when we did finally make it around a full three phase event in July, it felt fun and easy in a way I’ve never really experienced with eventing. Like, sure, everything is kinda hard sometimes with Doozy. **Mere existence** can sometimes be overwhelming, apparently. 

But the actual tests of the day? Especially the jumping phases? There were no questions in my head that we could just go out and put one foot in front of the other toward a completion. 

holy crap a pic of us cantering!! 

It’s like something clicked in my head. Like, OH. Ah. I see. It can be like this! And I basically spent the rest of the summer fully embracing the idea of getting out there and doing the things at a level that felt comfortable, easy and fun — while slowly but surely trying to smooth out all the other mere-existence-related wrinkles (like Doozy’s admittedly tough time in the warm up rings at Waredaca).

We did about an event per month this season, which is a bit less frequent than the typical area campaigners from what I can tell — but it felt / feels right for us. 

click for full size — also hit a new record for “obedient” comments LOL!

And I opted to splurge on an Area II Champs entry, knowing full well we weren’t really contenders or points chasers or anything. Historically with Charlie, I was always thinking about pushing ourselves at shows, vs dallying around for special classes or whatever. So this was a bit of a departure for me. 

oxers never looks as big in pictures as they do to me in person LOL

And it was great! Like, kinda a bit of a fussy experience with the multiple days of trailering etc LOL, and idk if I’ll do it again necessarily… But it was a great experience — I’m glad for the memories, and it was also just one more positive notch in the proverbial belt for Doozy. 

doozy being mature about jumping into our bending line <3

But ya know… It also kinda felt like time, right? Like, ok. We did a proper season. Did the recognized things. Qualified for and rode around the area champs… With still one good month left to go in the season. All signs pointed in the same direction: time to go for it. 

So I dutifully sent in an entry for the BN at Plantation Field’s starter trials, scheduled to happen the weekend after our lovely xc clinic with Sally at Windurra. 

Obvi, you’d be forgiven for not remembering reading about that event tho bc… Well. I scratched the night before for really no real reason at all, except that… idk. I didn’t feel right about it, didn’t feel ready, wasn’t in the right head space, had just one too many feelings of uncertainty bordering on that awful existential dread type feeling. 

strange little cedar oxer out of the water. i’ve seen it cause problems, but doozy clearly didn’t care

So yea. Fine. Scratch that, no big deal. Grace is a lovely gift that only we can give ourselves. 

I had just gotten so stuck in my head. Feelings of uncertainty about how the day would be set up — usually at least either sj or dressage is on grass, which one would it be? How would the xc course look — it’s normally pretty friendly looking but… it’s also been a while. 

And, in all honesty, I still remember Charlie’s somewhat uncharacteristically terrible day there back in 2018, at his second novice. If Doozy had the same type of atypical day, was our schooling level really ready enough to still get us around? And would I be emotionally resilient enough to not completely melt down if it went poorly? 

Basically. My answer to that question was, “No.” I thought it would cost me too much to have the same type of bad day Charlie had all those years ago. It also felt like I’d selected Plantation for not compelling enough reasons. Like, sure, a good event horse should be able to have consistent results at a variety of different venues and grounds. But… We already know Doozy thrives on consistency, so maybe choosing the familiarity of Loch Moy for a move up was ‘strategic’ instead of a cop out. 

i can’t tell for sure, but doesn’t it look like we might actually be stepping INSIDE the ditch????

Anyway. That’s a whole lot of navel gazing, let’s be real. But it’s also a fairly honest and accurate depiction of the mental hamster wheel going on inside my head. 

I felt instant relief after scratching Plantation… paired with a newer inner voice, quieter but equally persistent: I did want to try for BN, I did believe we were ready, and maybe all we really needed was a set of circumstances that felt more familiar, with fewer unknowns. 

So I sucked it up and sent in a (late) entry for the Loch Moy starter the very next weekend. Which, obvi felt possibly like throwing good money after bad since I’d literally just forfeited an entry fee lol. But ya know. Hurray for volunteerism guys bc BOTH these entries had pretty nice discounts applied anyway!

stunning mare + matching foliage <3 <3

I wasn’t quite finished with the mental hamster wheel, tho. In order to just keep the peace upstairs between my ears, I decided to ensure our entire approach to this event was suuuuuper low key and casual. No white pants — not even tan pants. Nope, went straight up with clothes I’d just as soon wear to a lesson. 

Ditto for Doozy — I only packed one set of tack. Not for any real reason other than: just not wanting to take it too seriously. Not wanting to even look too serious. We’ve gotten around just fine in our jump tack, and this would be no different. 

And ya know, it wasn’t any different — and we did get around just fine! Not perfect, obviously. But more than ‘just fine’ too, especially cross country! Doozy was such a super star! 

Ultimately, I’m super proud of both of us for keeping on with putting one foot in front of the other, all year long. My goal with Doozy has always been to continue growing my experience and education in this sport, and we definitely learned something deeply important this year about appreciating the scenic route <3 <3

getting it

I’ve said from the very start with Doozy that the plan was always to ‘take it slow.’ Charlie taught me many, many lessons — more than a few of which I was not quite ready (or entirely willing) to learn. Chief among them: there isn’t some magical destination which, upon reaching, aha - we have unlocked fulfillment!

another lesson without compelling media, sorry guys!

Going bigger, higher, faster is not necessarily a reward unto itself, it turns out. Especially when the dogged pursuit means rushing through or under appreciating what should be special memorable experiences. For example, like when I’d walk away from a horse show feeling frustrated bc it wasn’t “good enough” for our move up plans, when actually in reality it should have been a happy and fun day and literally nobody robbed me of that joy except for myself.

In fact, it’s easily arguable that this overall approach is what ultimately took a lot of the fun out of competing entirely. If you only want one thing, and you ‘fail’ at that thing… it’s hard to not feel like, well, a failure, ya know?

did remember to nab pics of our new stirrup leathers tho — Henri de Rivel nylon lined in chocolate, paid ~$55 at Dover.
first impressions: they feel great under the leg — flat, smooth, and unobtrusively easy to put my leg where i want it

So with Doozy, I’m really trying to do things a little differently. Tho, human nature being what it is, it’s also been easy to subconsciously slide into old mentalities and thought processes. 

Like when Doozy finished the season so well last year, and was out and about starting to jump bigger things in clinics, it felt natural to assume that, well, we’d probably move up to BN at the beginning of this year’s season — and maybe even finish the year at N. 

it’s a tougher leather with exposed nylon backing, compared to a very soft leather encasing a nylon core on pricier styles

It seemed like a reasonable idea at the time — bc doesn’t it always?? But obviously we all know by now how very vastly differently this year started out for us. And real talk? I’m kinda a little grateful for the interruption and reminder to think through what it is I really want. 

Bc…. What I want is to have fun at horse shows, feel confident about what we’re doing, and not feel like I’m betting quite so heavily on the good will and nature of my horse to carry us through sketchier moments. 

i loved these Passiers and perhaps 5 years is a reasonable life span for that style (paid ~$85 new on ebay in 2020), but they are well and truly dead. maybe the tougher HDR leathers will last longer?

In fact, reading back through this post of Charlie’s second season opener (which I linked to in an unrelated post a couple weeks ago) really drove home that… While that experience was well and fine for that era in my riding life, I’m really kinda trying to go for something, erm, a little different now haha.

anything for Ms Princess, who had to have another saddle check (just 6 weeks after the last flocking) bc we are having a recurring problem likely related to our codependent crookedness… her back looked all clear after our lesson tho!

And. Obviously, Doozy is not Charlie. I got lucky with him in so many ways, I got away with a lot haha. Not quite sure the results would be the same with this funny little firecracker mare lol.

anyway, the rest of the pics are from hacking out. can you believe this is AUGUST grass??? unreal

She is an exciting horse tho, and I’m excited with the progress we’re making on this new and different approach — this rigorous dogged pursuit of…. wait for it… the fundamentals. 

We finally had another lesson with event trainer Woodge this week (recall she was traveling for her own competition last week and so we snuck in a reunion with dressage trainer C), yet another session of “remedial trotting.” And guys, Doozy was brilliant omg <3

 

doozy likes marching me straight up to these clusters of mouth-height tall grasses lol

No media, obvi, so you’ll have to take my word for it. Which, natch, is up to you haha. It’s hard to go from earning 50% on a dressage test to swearing up and down that a horse is fantastic on the flat, but here we are lol.

woods are still full of (suspicious) ferns! they cut a new high trail too — on soft loam vs the rocky stream bottom, so we actually got to do a few little log jompies omg, and doozy was super chill about them!

We stayed almost exclusively on a 20m circle for the full lesson, and only ever did sustained walking and trotting (a few bits of canter snuck in, but only temporarily). 

The circle had jump standards with poles at 3o’clock and 9o’clock (ie bisecting the circle, and we essentially carved a horse-width sized track into the footing. Noting: the width of our track should be equally narrow all the way around, not just where the poles were.

i love how her hacking confidence keeps growing <3 <3

The focus was all about posture — both mine and Doozy’s — while maintaining inside bend and outside shoulder control. Which actually felt like a really really complementary next lesson after riding with Trainer C last week. Like we kinda put the ‘yin’ and the ‘yang’ together finally.

happy marching across hill and dale, away from and back toward home!

And Doozy was so good — was able to have moments where she really felt on the aids, stable, balanced, could do thoughtful balanced serpentine changes of direction inside the 20m circle at trot, could shift down to a 15m circle over just one of the pole exercises while Woodge adjusted the other, and basically just settled into trotting over the various pole configurations like it’s easy and boring. Good girl!

oooooh the butterfly bush is blooming again!

The pole configurations included going from single poles at each end, to sets of two poles (at trotting distance), to three poles (still trotting), to one side actually having a little cross rail — which was SUPER EXCITING the first time, but boring thereafter — then back to finishing with four trot poles on each end. 

Not groundbreaking stuff, guys. But it was incredible to feel the difference in how easy it was for me to sit tall and still with long legs, shoulders back, and hands together and down when Doozy was so secure in her own balance and posture. It’s really clear how much we feed off each other’s instability in the chaos lol.

i love riding out with friends, but sometimes going solo is nicer for letting doozy power walk to her heart’s content

And funny enough, more than once (more than three times, if we’re being honest) Woodge asked what I did differently in a moment of softness… and all I could do was just shrug like, “I dunno, Doozy just got it?” Again it really felt like the pieces we’ve been working on since riding with Trainer C were super complementary to the approach Woodge is taking with us, which may or may not inform my scheduling choices for the foreseeable future. 

Regardless, and kinda back to my main earlier point — It’s exciting to see where Doozy is right now. And liberating in a way to remind myself that there’s no clock, there’s no rush. The reward is in the positive experience, the horse that “gets it.” 

And it’s giving me an entirely new and unfamiliar — but GOOD — kind of rush when I click “submit payment” on entry forms. Who knew that was even an option LOL :D