the seventh rabbit

It was our first big exciting weekend in Dooz Land in a couple months now — for two main reasons!

1. We had our first riding lesson since Doozy’s accident, and 

2. It was in a clinic with another 5* eventer whom I’ve admired for a long time now!

pretty biscuit, lookin serene <3

So sure sure, it may seem a bit silly to take a rehabbing horse to a big ticket clinic with someone so accomplished… Especially when that rehabbing horse is basically a wild animal incapable of simply… just… trotting a circle. 

But, eh, I have my reasons and am glad we did it!

also looking like a friggin tank, like a whole ass brick house LOL

So, let’s get into it! Tho a quick note — I have like zero media from the lesson itself, tho basically a couple week’s worth of random snapshots from our day to day horsey activities. So the pictures are only semi related, and basically in chronological order to capture more or less Doozy’s rehab progression.

hackin in our fly boots with our favorite unicorn friends

Anyway. Former West Coast eventer Matt Brown relocated with his wife to the East Coast a few years ago. That name might sound familiar to long time blog readers bc I’ve referenced him a fair amount as it relates to goal setting and mental health. His essays were instrumental in helping me reframe my overall horsey goals, pursuits and experiences to prioritize fulfillment from the process itself, rather than any specific outcome.

He’s also just, ya know, a pretty impressive rider with substantial credentials and accomplishments, nbd. 

quick fangirl video i took a few years ago

So when a drop dead gorgeous farm like 20min from home announced the clinic, honestly it felt like a no-brainer. Doozy’s rehab is progressing day by day, she’s remained extremely sound and consistent… plus it’s not like there isn’t plenty of low hanging fruit for us to work on at the extreme basics. It IS US, after all.

ooooh finally tried on the replacement bridle

And real talk… when I say the “rehab is progressing,” I mean that in only the barest bones terms. As in, the horse continues to exist each day, and remains sound with the leg looking good even as we layer in more intervals of trot and even a (very) little canter. The quality of that work, tho? Well… It has not been great. 

doozy attempting to go nuclear while i try to just trot a long side a few weeks ago
(pic not from lesson but representative of Ms Thing having a bit of a hair trigger lately)

The tension and explosiveness have been unrelenting. Especially paired with my insecurities about setting her back in her recovery, it’s meant for maybe slower going than would otherwise be prescribed. And Doozy hates slow going LOL.

aaaaand back to peaceful serene tack pictures LOL! this bridle is almost the same as the one she exploded, except for the noseband design… i think i liked the last style better, but c’est la vie! maybe it’ll grown on me…

One of the trickiest aspects for me in trying to learn how to cope with and manage Doozy’s tension is that everybody has their own method, their own approach. We’ve tried a lot of different tactics and techniques over the years, and I worry sometimes about being too scattered or inconsistent — not giving any one technique enough time to actually work for the horse before shifting to trying some other way. 

we’ve been wearing mostly dressage tack lately anyway

But meanwhile, the issues persist and we’ve absolutely fallen into some hardwired patterns, routines and codependencies at this point. In other words, the tension is more or less baked in. 

In a strange way, tho, being relegated to rehab gives us a new chance, a new opportunity to confront the issue.

lots of walkies in the paddock next to the arena, since it has lovely afternoon shade

So we arrived at the clinic a little sheepishly in our dressage tack (pretty sure we were the only flat riders of the day), and I was blunt with Matt: Our flat work is basically unhinged, I don’t have an answer for the tension, and we’ve been at it long enough to have developed all manner of bad habits and escalation triggers in each other. But she’s a good horse and a nice person.

lots of walkies inside the arena too — including during lessons when there are dust ghosts omg

And Matt picked up immediately that a lot of Doozy’s anxiety is rooted in being an overachiever. She wants to understand, she wants to be right, she knows something is going to happen, so let’s make it happen right now! Add in her absurd untiring athleticism and… yea. It’s a lot LOL.

seems like it should be pleasant and relaxing, no?

He started us at the walk, reins at the buckle, asking me to sit deep and really feel her hind end footfalls. Trying to really plug me in seat first, helping Doozy find her fluid slinky walk with neck long and low, but not curled.

“you and i have different views on what’s considered ‘pleasant’” — doozy, probably

When I picked up the reins, it was with the intention to find contact without changing Doozy’s neck posture (long, level or low, not curled), with following arms and elbows. If we lost any of that — if Doozy got choppy or tense — I was to release back to the buckle and restart.

{*insert jaws theme song here*}

Eventually, once I could maintain a contact on the reins — not like, having Doozy in a frame necessarily, just a feel of the contact while she maintained a long forward self carriage — we started working the trot on a circle. Which, real talk, actually meant exploding immediately into porpoise canter exactly as she did when I first got her, like the last 3 years of schooling and training never happened hahaha(sob).

tacking + grooming in the main aisle these days instead of the grooming bays bc apparently being in everybody’s way is less spooky to the doozy

This is where Matt’s technique diverged substantially from other lessons we’ve had. Almost every single major professional who has seen Doozy has insisted that in the moments when she wants to explode forward, breaking gait or spooling out, I should immediately bring her back. 

Matt, however, instead had me let her carry on — don’t try to stop her — but guide her onto increasingly smaller circles until she starts to think that maybe trotting would be better. Which, for Doozy and her freakish balance, is a pretty small circle.

omg stop the presses — it’s doozy out in public again for the first time in months!!

But the idea was to not fight, not get into her face with the contact — not even let the contact itself be a major part of the conversation. He wanted me to avoid micromanaging, avoid telling Doozy exactly what to do, and instead think more along the lines of guiding her to a place where she could make the right choice herself.

for as challenging as this horse is for me, it’s nice to know that she’s become very good at some things!

And this pattern basically became our whole session. Doozy would explode into porpoise mode, I’d refrain from immediately clutching at her, and instead guide her onto smaller circles until she found her own soft balance. 

Then, let the circle expand slightly until she lost it again, then bring it back in. Expansion, contraction, usually just quarters of the circle at a time, sorta a breathing in and out.

“that wasn’t me, that was some other red horse” — sweet doozy, butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth

And believe it or not, we actually achieved some pretty great moments of both trot and canter using this technique. Which, shouldn’t be too hard to believe bc Doozy HAS had extensive schooling and is a lovely mover LOL. But ya know how it is…

Basically Matt’s whole thing was to help Doozy be a little more accountable for her own self regulation, a little more responsible for her choices. She wants / needs me to be there for her, but it can’t be micromanaging or trying to shut her down.

oh lady… it doesn’t have to be so hard!

And he told a little story about the seven rabbits — a horse who on a trail ride encountered a rabbit but didn’t spook. Then saw another rabbit, but still didn’t spook. Rabbit after rabbit, the horse was fine. Finally, tho, after the seventh rabbit darted in front of him, he shied away and unraveled. And the rider was perplexed bc clearly the horse had demonstrated that he’s not actually afraid of rabbits. But the lesson is that a horse’s capacity for bravery isn’t infinite, they can only take so many rabbits. 

To Matt, Doozy is basically always on that edge — she’s like a Zero Rabbits kinda horse, even when she seems calm she’s only ever one little bunny hop away from a big reaction (hey, kinda like how she hurt herself in the first place!).

Which, ya know… #accurate lol… So we’ll see. We’ll practice this new method and approach, see where it gets us. At this rate I’d settled for even just like one more rabbit, please!!