how to not zap my horse with static....

There are two main ways I know winter is arriving. Well, ok, there are other ways too.... but really, these are my biggies:

1) The skin on the back of my hands transitions nearly overnight into the texture of crepe paper. Dry chapped knuckles, and an overall appearance more befitting an octogenarian, vs yours truly (still only in my 30s despite how it might seem!).

And, more to today's point:

2) Suddenly, I'm accidentally zapping the ever loving fuck out of Charlie's poor sweet smooshy nose with static constantly. Which, he naturally finds extremely distressing....

Seriously, tho. Charlie reeeeally hates getting zapped. And I'm not even talking big shocks, either. Even just the littlest *snap!* will send him through the roof, eyes all astonishment at my apparent betrayal.... 

what even is life without petting pony noses anyway?!?

I think it's because he doesn't really understand what just happened, but is extremely uncomfortable and distrusting of the surprise factor -- the unpredictability of the zaps. And naturally, Charlie holds me directly responsible for this abuse. 

After an accidental static discharge on his fuzzy muzzle, he'll snort accusingly at me, with the whites of his eyes showing and head cocked in anguished confusion... And will stay that way -- skeptical of any hand I extend (even if it's literally filled with cookies) -- for the rest of our grooming session. 

Notably, his suspicion does not extend to any other humans. I could hand over those cookies to literally anybody else in the barn and he'll gobble them up. But me?? No no, my hands are clearly instruments of the static underlords and he wants nothing to do with them. 

Which is obviously very very sad for me, since petting my pony's nose is one of the primary pursuits of my lengthy barn commute in the first place... So obviously I feel very heartbroken and guilty, and yet still manage to continue zapping the poor creature. 

Did I ever tell you about the first time it happened? I just patted his nose in passing, which discharged a shock that about sent him through the roof... I obviously immediately went to apologize by fussing and cooing over him, and planted a big ol' kiss on his nose as amends. At which point.... I zapped him again... UGH. There's really no coming back from that....

resistance is futile

And now, after having been victimized by micro-electrocution one too many times during a grooming session, Charlie will sometimes spook and startle even when there isn't a shock. 

Obviously, something has to be done about this. The abuse must end!! 

So, naturally, I asked the google to please advise on Charlie's plight. 

Most of the results had to do with the static introduced into homes through heating systems -- that can thus be alleviated by using humidifiers. That's.... obviously not really applicable in an open-air barn setting. 

Other results were maybe more helpful, in discussing how different fabrics and textiles tend to hold higher levels of static charges. Woolens, fleeces, etc. Definitely good to keep in mind to be more careful whenever I might be wearing a fleece jacket -- or when Charlie's wearing his fleece cooler.*

(*Notably: he suffers much less sadness when shocked elsewhere on his body. It's the Nose Zaps he finds most agonizing!!) 

Still, tho, none of that really gets to the core issue of wanting to pet my pony's nose mindlessly and without fear of undermining his trust in me. So what else did the google say I could do? 

Here were a couple good ideas that I'm running with for now: 

leather and leather-like materials are low-conductors, so these sorts of riding or work gloves are a good bet

1. Gloves. The idea here is to create a non-conductive barrier between my hand and Charlie's skin. Basically a static shock is the passage of an electrical charge through conductive material to the ground. The soles of most of my shoes are not conductive, so any charge stored up in my clothing or on me will always be looking somewhere to go -- like to Charlie, who is grounded via steel fucking shoes haha. 

But if I wear non-conductive gloves -- which could be like your typical riding gloves, leather or leather-like (but nothing fuzzy, fleecey or wool etc) -- they'll block the passage of the shock. 

So it may be that I just need to wear gloves through our grooming sessions. Something that... Honestly sounds pretty good for when things get really cold!

srsly tho, just look at that ridiculously smooshy nose

2. Hand Lotion. The google tells me that it's the very dry conditions that exacerbate this static problem. Water conducts electric charges, and when there's a lot of moisture in the air (like during our very humid summers), the charges dissipate more freely via the atmosphere. 

In the dry, tho, the static is stuck literally clinging to us until it can find passage to ground -- like directly through a very unwilling and nonconsenting Charlie. 

Apparently, tho, according to my (very unscientific) research, frequent use of hand lotion helps keep the skin more moist and less likely to accumulate enough of a static charge to share that special zap unwittingly. 

Assuming you read my earlier observation about crepe paper skin and chapped knuckles, you can see why this type of solution seems attractive. Jury's still out on how effective it is, but it seems reasonable to add a little container of hand lotion in the tack locker, right next to the other recent denizen: hand sanitizer.

he loves making ridiculous faces

3. Moisture, generally speaking. The final finding from the internet (which would never, ever lie to me) was that any sort of moisture will help. One article about static in dogs' coats suggested using some sort of spray on them. Which... Reminded me that, oh yea, I have all sorts of grooming sprays for Charlie too. 

Apparently a lot of the static charges come from the act of grooming -- all that friction in running hands and fibrous brushes across the animal's fur coat in dry conditions create basically the perfect recipe for maximum zappage. 

Applying grooming sprays (like shine sprays or the like) reduces the build up of a static charge. Presumably, going over your horse's coat with a damp rag likewise does the same. Helpfully, this same damp rag technique is absolutely perfect for getting rid of that gross dusty sheen that also likes to accumulate in winter (bc of the exact same static forces...). 

Obviously, there's a limit to how much moisture we might realistically want to handle during freezing temperatures.... And my locker is not in a heated section of the barn so some of my supplies actually freeze in the winter too. But.... I guess if/when that happens, I'll just go with the gloves approach haha. 

needs more of this in my life haha <3 <3 <3

So ya know. That's my plan of attack for solving this very weirdly specific problem. And who knows, maybe you don't think static electricity is really that big of a deal anyway... Tho.... if you could see Charlie's pained expression every time I zap him, maybe you'd come to understand lol. 

Or... maybe alternatively, you also have a horse who is deeply deeply offended whenever you accidentally shock them -- and have already figured out tips and tricks for avoiding it? If so, please do tell.... And in the meantime, #Pray4Charlie lol....