pictures worth some words

As promised, I ordered some prints from our recent competition outing — Loch Moy’s final recognized horse trial of the year. From which, as you may remember, I opted to call it a day after a less-than-stellar dressage test paired with increasingly poor ground conditions in the chilly rain.

a picture of a picture of us trotting in the rain <3

Everything might have been fine if we’d decided to continue. It’s not like the bad dressage is unusual for us LOL, not like we haven’t carried on from last place in basically every other show. But eh, with the recent whoopsie it felt a little unnecessary to push in decidedly not ideal circumstances. So, we didn’t. 

bolting in the rain too!! lolz…..

The pictures aren’t half bad (for us) tho! Like Doozy is obvi running away with me in the canter pic haha… And trust me, she was indeed. But as far as our standard fare presentation goes… I’m not sad to have the photos!

oh doozy dear, you are indeed the fastest at dressage tests!

I still had a good long talk about it with trainer C at our most recent dressage lesson, tho. Bc our scoring really is consistently just so bad. Like, “outside the normal distribution” bad. Consistently, with every judge. And it’s not just like we get the low end of any given judge’s marks. No no no, we are generally well into the “You probably shouldn’t be here” marks.

in case you wanted a graphical + annotated representation of what it means to be “objectively bad,” here we are well outside the ‘standard deviations’ of our last show’s dressage score distribution

Case in point is the handy little histogram I made of all 18 horses in our class at the show. It’s all to scale, one percentage point per tick across the horizontal axis. With 17 horses all clustered around the average score, and then a loonnnnnnnng tail of nothingness until us.

she’s 100% objectively cute tho <3 <3 <3

I maintain that I honestly do not care about winning. In fact, I don’t necessarily even care about specifically losing. I care more about how it feels while we’re doing it. Like, Charlie would still strut like a champion after putting in a severely mediocre test. Bc as far as he was concerned, he Did. The. Thing. and was a Good. Boy.

Doozy, on the other hand, sometimes almost feels like she thinks she might actually die.

i only went out to blanket her, but she wasn’t having it,
didn’t think i should be able to leave without her <3

Well ok. That’s a little dramatic. But she definitely feels like she thinks Something Bad might happen at any time. 

Which, I should note, this is the point at which most people love to tell me that I just need to “keep getting out there” and “give it time” and “keep exposing her.” Which is a strange thing for me to hear bc 1) what exactly do the people saying this to me think I’m doing??? and 2) we’re legit ‘getting out there’ far more frequently and with more regularity than most people I know, and definitely more than the people who like to give me this advice. So ya know, spare me LOL.

happy out hacking!

But eh. Y’all know how it is. Folks love to offer solutions to everybody else’s problems. And it’s pretty clear that Doozy and I have a Big Dressage Problem. Doozy’s tension is obviously still there in the other phases, but the feeling is completely different. Still at times chaotic, but a whole lot less “IMPENDING DOOM.” The dressage, tho. Oof. You’d think I was asking her to do a 20m circle right around the precipice of an actual literal black hole.

reasons to be grateful: two horses who spent a fair bit of time this year laid up on stall rest, reunited back out on the hills!

Sometimes I have to actually stop myself and appreciate how far she’s come in so much of our day to day life together — how she is in the barn, out on trails, going to lessons and clinics, all the various things we regularly do. Doozy is truly a lovely horse to be around, to spend time with, and to ride in all the various activities I love to do. In company, alone, whatever. 

sweet silly mare

So yea, it bugs me that this one specific activity — riding the dressage test at a show — is so specifically unpleasant and un-fun. Especially when you consider how much we enjoy our dressage lessons lol… Make it make sense!   

might not be everybody’s favorite view point lol but we have fun :)

Trainer C was feeling equally boggled by the whole thing. She only sees us in lessons so from her perspective, Doozy has long since moved on from her earliest chaotic tendencies. And it’s obvi hard to explain just how much the horse changes, turns completely inside out, when we actually enter for our test.

All the same, tho, she was adamant that we keep trying to experiment a bit. Keep trying different approaches, and, yes, still keep giving the horse time and exposure. Bc the horse truly can make a lovely test when she’s feeling secure and game. Plus obvi we still wanna do cross country! And the path to the start box goes through the dressage court. 

keepin up with the joneses

It is somehow turning into the most glorious fall already. We’ve still had some warm days — but that cool crisp kinda warm that makes you want to bring layers just in case.

everybody is snuggly and sweet when it gets cold out!

It’s also been properly chilly on a couple days, and naturally a little rainy at times too. So all the nice cozy categories of weather. Only real bummer is the increasingly early sunset, I guess!

even doozy! in her new rain sheet!

Doozy, for her part, has been great. We had some really nice schooling rides in the last couple weeks, including a good dressage lesson, good schools at home, and that properly pleasant jump school I wrote about — plus one more after that wherein we basically just repeated exactly the same set of exercises with exactly the same properly pleasant results. Who doesn’t love that?

the sheet came in handy, bc it’s been rainy!
(also, yes, that is a whole ass flake of hay just sittin loose on the trailer floor LOL)

It was a good feeling too, bc we actually already had an entry in for Loch Moy’s final recognized HT of the year. Tho… Truth be told, legit one of my first thoughts after falling off at the starter trial was to check to see if it was too late to withdraw. Alas, it was.

It was a good aspirational bold plan when I sent all those entries in all at once — instead of my usual conservative / pessimistic approach of waiting to enter each thing until after the last thing, just in case.

“you can’t be serious” — doozy, so sweet she melts down in the rain

But, eh, that’s how it goes, right? I decided I’d still go to the recognized show since it was paid for and all, and we’d give it a good shot. Mostly I was curious to see if we could replicate some of those really good moments from the starter trial — esp in the dressage warm up.

proof we sorta kinda tried to do a thing! got some pro pics too bc #whynot, but you’ll have to wait for them to come in the mail

Idk, tho. The vibe was kinda off the whole day — and not just bc of the persistently damp chilly rain. We parked way down in timbuktu bc the place was a ZOO for area champs. They rearranged a lot of stuff from how they’d done it last year, including adding a second show jump competition ring and moving sj warm up to a whole new location (conveniently right above where we parked so we got to walk through all that** on our way to dressage).

(**All that being inclusive of the frequent victory gallops as each champs division concluded)

“i’ll take my snacks to go, pls!” — doozy, ready to be done

That’s all a long way to say: No, our dressage was not representative of any good work or improvements or whatever. It was, as they say, quite bad. Siiiiiigh.

I’d originally determined to stick around at least for show jumping, bad vibes be damned, but… eh. XC seemed out of the question with increasingly slippy torn up tracks (something like 40 BN horses had already jumped our track over the course of the weekend) and especially the warm up zone, and I don’t think I’d have forgiven myself if we had a repeat (or worse) of our last outing.

anyway. cats!! cats in paper bags!!! <3 <3

Ultimately tho, I opted to just pack up after dressage. Some other time it’ll feel appropriate and necessary to push through the cold wet chaos to go jump our jumps. It just didn’t have to be this particular day LOL.

speaking of creature comforts… my farrier started bringing his puppy on the road omg

And obvi Doozy certainly didn’t mind!! She doesn’t know she didn’t jump lol. Honestly, aside from being absolutely unable to cope the second she enters at A…. honestly aside from all that, she’s been an extremely happy camper lately!

doozy was obsessed, to say the least!

Nice rides, relaxed, pleasant and happy in the barn. Low key creepy in love with my farrier’s puppy. Ya know. Normal happy horse stuff! 

ooooh and more horse shows — this time on the administrative side of things: drafting maps!

So we’ll see what the season brings. Perhaps going back to the drawing board entirely re: test riding + ring craft. Or perhaps shifting focus to other activities that don’t involve dressage courts at all. Or ya know. Maybe just continuing to work as we have been, trusting that the progress is happening even if it’s hard to tell? Idk! We’ll see!

making plans for all these pretties!!!!

In the meantime, tho, we’re kicking back into high gear with all things Shawan Downs, as the local riding club’s fall starter event is rapidly approaching! 

get on the bus, lil’ table!!

There’s something so satisfying about being a part of that process, watching all the plans and pieces come together as the event takes shape.

so exciting to see things start taking shape! and look at those hints of crimson in the foliage!!!!

Fingers crossed the weather cooperates too bc while I’m undecided about entering the show, I’m very hopeful to at least make it to the xc schooling days. A girl can dream, right?

doozy, don’t you wanna go play too???

Right. It’s a tricky time of year to get too attached to any one specific plan or activity, with the weather being what it is. But honestly after having been on the sidelines for so much of the summer, it’s nice to even just have the choice!

perhaps haha. i think perhaps she does!

If the weather *DOES* play nice, we might have a few other upcoming activities planned too that require zero dressage (or even flatwork). More galloping hill and dale, less messy stressy contact on 20m circles. Doesn’t sound half bad, right? 

Cross your fingers the weather agrees LOL. And in the meantime, hope y’all have a nice weekend too!

technical difficulties at MDHT

So! Doozy and I made it back out for our first full three phase horse trial since her injury last spring!! And…. welllllll…. it didn’t go *entirely* to plan, to be honest. 

**record scratch**
yep, that’s me… 

But actually the good moments were quite good for us, all things considered, even if the day ended prematurely with my first ever fall off Doozy at one of the smallest jumps on xc. Well. Ok, cough cough, technically speaking, we were already eliminated in show jumping anyway bc SOMEBODY (me) missed a jump, ahem, oops. But Doozy didn’t know that! 

you’re probably wondering how i got here!

So yea. A few things went wrong LOL. But. Eh. What else is new?? So let’s get into it!

it all started about five hours earlier….

Obvi I’m not gonna lie — it’s hard to consistently kinda suck at this sport. But ya know. It’s not like I’m not trying, right? And hopefully close observers will agree with me that even with all the fuckery, there are still some pretty solid bright spots from the day — still some clear signs of slow (oh so slow) progress.

for real, tho — all joking aside, it ended up just fine. doozy, tell the people you’re fine!

Tho maybe not THAT clear bc we’re lacking a fair bit of media so…. haha, you’re just going to have to take my word for it on some stuff! Like dressage warm up. For once, I was adamant that dressage warm up would be a feature of our day, that it would get the time and attention it needed.  

doozy!! tell the people!! …doozy??

For whatever reason, some of my clock-related psycho tendencies include giving myself exactly not enough time. Not on this day, tho! I gave myself 40min. It’s more than we need for the “work” itself, but I hoped would provide the same sort of mental buffer for Doozy that the 7min break between tests at last month’s twilight dressage did. 

oh. ah. i see. just a little low key mugging while i’m trying to selfie lol… yep, she’s fine!

And we’ve been working really really hard at putting together a consistent simple flatwork routine. More evidence to come of that from a recent pivo ride that I haven’t had time to write about yet. 

All things considered, with all the prep work and time buffers and all that, I was actually extremely pleased with our warm up for dressage. Especially the canters. It wasn’t perfect, wasn’t as good as at home. But was NOT explosive, and actually bordered at times on ‘pleasant’ and ‘harmonious.’ 

walking downhill from trailers: first ring is dressage warm up, next ring holds the dressage courts, and the ring below that (behind the judge’s booths) holds show jumping. cross country is on the opposite side of warmup from this path. 

Unfortunately tho that just doesn’t translate into the show ring itself. Doozy just gets so tight and tense. The test wasn’t at all our worst… some parts were probably fine. But the score is atrocious anyway bc every single movement is so tense. And still with the collective 5.0 (x2 coefficient) Harmony score. 

anyway. for real for real — show jumping started off great!

I’d say it was a bummer except… Meh. For once I wasn’t even checking scores online throughout the day. So I actually didn’t even know the scores until I grabbed my test the next day while volunteering. It was important to me to try my best, to not feel like I shortchanged us in the warm up. But otherwise, it kinda is what it is, ya know? 

actually quite pleased with how i rode the tricky half stride distance in this line

So we just got on with our day — the next step of which was show jumping!! And another major major bright spot of the day was the warm up for this phase. Not that there’s any media at all, so again, you’ll have to take my word, but this might have been one of our strongest jumping phase warm up efforts to date.

slightly, uh, less pleased with straight up just forgetting that red #7 even existed in the world, oops

For once I actually was able to practice opening and collecting the canter and felt like Doozy understood and was responding. We jumped four jumps — the X, the vertical once off each lead, and then the oxer, and felt READY. 

ah well. doozy didn’t know her pilot is a moron.
well. ok actually she might have an inkling on that point, but it was all good!

The round itself started great too! The whole course was kinda twisty serpentine-y bending every which way with almost every jump feeling slightly related but also slightly on an iffy stride. 

We got a great shot into the first tho (with a rub but no rail), and then got the strides I wanted to jump 2 in a bending seven. The tight turn to 3 went smoothly, and I was super happy with our ride from 4 to 5, which was set on exactly a half stride but rode in a tidy six with just a slight bow vs the direct line. 

full round, complete with our drive-by of #7

We landed counter cantering tho and in retrospect I should have fixed the lead to 6 bc even tho Doozy had good distance, she had the rail and then landed in a bit of a run. That’s not why we missed 7 tho — I literally just straight up forgot about it, never even aimed for it. 

Just went right on around to the in-and-out at 8, which rode sticky and long for us, then another kinda sticky jump at 9 to finish. I suspect the stickiness is a direct result of my shoving her at 6 when she didn’t feel totally comfortable in her balance.

they still let you go cross country on a technical elimination tho!

Obvi the warm up steward — longtime volunteer and rider Meredith, who ran a fantastic ring!!! — alerted me to the missed jump and subsequent TE. Honestly tho? I honestly wasn’t ruffled by that at all. Obvi with the way our dressage is, it hardly matters anyway, right? We’re just here for the experience. And even if they’d said we couldn’t go xc, it would have still been a net positive experience. 

and it started off pretty good!

But they DID let us go xc, so ONWARD, right?? And again, Doozy actually had a very nice warm up — I only jumped one fence just when the horse ahead of us was in the box, mostly to check the brakes etc, and all was well. So we made our way to the box, picked up a trot about 30sec out, then headed out and got a great shot to fence 1!

straight up princess to #2

Doozy landed strong, but I made it my business to reestablish balance right away, and she got a really nice feeling forward stride to the second. 

i call this down hill run to jump 3 the “heart breaker,” but doozy did it just fine

Ditto for jump 3. It’s a fairly long downhill run away from the trailers and warm up and all that. I’m notoriously terrible about riding downhill, and everything about this jump is perfectly situated to tempt a rider into getting too backwards and behind the leg. Not Doozy tho! She carried a steady rhythm and jumped it nicely.

we’ve seen some variation of this bending line a few times now — #6 is top right corner

The next few jumps are all extremely similar to a couple courses we’ve done here before — with jumps nicely positioned on gently rising ground with bending approaches. 

got a pretty decent shot to the table!

Doozy was a touch distracted at times — you can actually hear me at various points in the helmet camera telling her not to worry about various jump judges etc lurking in the trees… But honestly she felt super rateable and rideable. 

proof: the good moments were good <3 <3

And she got what felt like a great shot to the table at 7!! Hindsight being what it is, tho, I wonder if she felt again like I kinda shoved her at it, sorta like jump 6 in show jumping. She didn’t land out of balance or anything like that, honestly she still felt great (albeit slightly distracted).

got a little bit of a clunker to the corner tho, oops

But the next jump definitely was a little sticky. Just not as confident a feeling as I’m used to with Doozy. I’m not entirely sure why — some people said their horses felt a little slippy on the ground, she also could have just been tired. Idk. But I opted to let her trot into the water just to be safe. 

a few small things went slightly wrong here that layered together into a slightly bigger oopsie

Tho again, hindsight being 20-20, it wasn’t exactly an effort to get her to trot. Which… Should have clued me in as unusual. And she just trit-trotted right through the water, right up to a piddly little slow-motion stop at the cedar logs after. 

Watching the helmet cam, I understand what I was thinking — clearly I was just waiting for her to pick up and go and take me to the fence. But she just… didn’t. And I didn’t do anything at all about it…. so yea, whoops. So we turned around and picked up the canter to try again. 

evidence: oopsie

But you know what they say — you really ought to jump it the first time bc it’s almost never going to look any better the second time. For whatever reason, Doozy was just out of steam and a little upset and didn’t want to play any more.

“i need an adult” — sweet little biscuit

For a hot second, I thought she would push me back into the saddle with her neck. An instant later tho I was way up in the air and actually afraid she might be coming toward and possibly over top of me. Good girl tho flung me clear and spun back and away. And then actually just stopped and stood there waiting for me instead of bolting off into the sunset. Whew.

honestly not hard to find bright spots about this video

I’ve never fallen off Doozy before — obvi have come very close, many times — but really was not at all sure what she’d do. She’s such a sweetie tho, she really does like to be with the people. So she waited <3

bummer to end on a sketchy note tho, but c’est la vie

So ya know. Obvi disappointing. In retrospect I kinda wish I’d retired after the first refusal bc the next couple jumps were all on slightly fussy downhill off-camber lines that probably wouldn’t be ideal for us anyway. But eh. In the grand scheme of things it’s not the end of the world.

no worse for the wear <3

We both probably need a little more schooling, a little more fitness. And *I* definitely need to work on being more proactive especially in the moments when Doozy ISN’T dragging me to the fences. 

All the same, tho, I’m not going to throw the baby out with the bathwater bc of one a couple mistakes, even if they were kinda big mistakes. There was a LOT to like about how our day was going. The moments that were good, were really good (for us lol). And at the end of the day, that’s what we’re here for! 

enshittification

The idea that some aspects of the consumer experience are, erm, getting worse, is not new. The term “enshittification” was popularized back in 2022, but people have been talking about topics like “planned obsolescence” even longer. 

It’s been increasingly on my mind, though, and what happened to Dover Saddlery seems like a perfect encapsulation of a broader trend that’s only getting bleaker.

trying to find the path to good choices like…..

Dover was founded in 1975 and steadily grew into a dominant equestrian retailer, going public in 2005. I pored over their catalogs as a horseless kid growing up in Baltimore City — spending hours circling my favorite items, fancifully outfitting my imaginary ponies. That catalog was as engaging to me as all the other equestrian magazines like Equus or Practical Horseman. And eventually, much later in life, the actual bricks and mortar store in our area became a reliable staple. Our “big box” outfitter along with all the other local tack shops.

Unbeknownst to me, and probably many other members of the equestrian community (who may or may not be up to date with the pages of Forbes or Wall Street Journal), three private-equity firms took Dover private in 2015, and its ownership control changed hands at least once after that — with reports of debt, cost-cutting, store closures, and unpaid vendors. And, as many are aware by now, it was taken over again in 2026, and subsequently liquidated by a restructuring firm. 

grateful for the opportunity to unplug from the wider world and just enjoy the moment with our ponies!

This story is apparently being retold again and again across all industries and sectors: a trusted, recognizable niche brand becomes a leveraged financial asset, while employees, suppliers, consumers, and the broader market ecosystem absorb the loss.

The problem, to me, however, is that… the more aware I become of examples of this story, the more I realize just how enormous the private equity / conglomerate ownership model has become, and how deeply intertwined it already is with nearly every facet of my day to day life as a consumer and citizen.

The Guardian ran a story a couple weeks ago about how It’s not your imagination that consumer goods are getting worse. That article linked to a new favorite online publication, Worse on Purpose — authored by Keyana Sapp, who writes deeply researched investigative essays on brands, conglomerations, and the hollowing out of entire sectors.

doozy loves being able to follow along with the group!

For those interested, it’s worth browsing around the Worse on Purpose website… Tho this article about Whole Foods is a neat and tidy representative example of how private equity infiltrates familiar brands and disrupts entire supply chains (and the underlying ethos) quietly enough to avoid much scrutiny or attention, while still exploiting customer loyalty.

More topically for our purposes, however, is this article on pet care and the industry surrounding small animal veterinary care. Sapp promises at the end that a follow up specific to pet food will be forthcoming soon too. I’m personally looking forward to that, since suspecting that my cats’ increasing pickiness over the years may be driven by declining food product quality is part of why I started noticing generalized product degradation in the first place.

That article on vet care is interesting for other topical reasons as well — particularly as it is not especially flattering toward the Mars company. Which, for those unaware, is a massive privately owned multinational conglomerate with roughly $65B in annual sales. And, somewhat coincidentally, is owned and run in part by renowned equestrian enthusiast Jacqueline Mars, or “Mrs. Mars,” as she’s known to her riders. 

not a bad way to spend a day!

You may be familiar with that equestrian tie-in bc the Mars company has been an enormous supporter of major events in recent years, including both the North America 5* competitions. And Mrs. Mars herself breeds and owns a number of FEI horses campaigned by riders of all stripes — from up-and-coming professionals to US Team riders.

In other words, she’s been a major supporter of the sport in a number of critical, existential ways. Which… kinda runs counter to the company’s track record in owning and operating vet clinics and other consumer-facing brands, as outlined in the Worse on Purpose article. And… kinda makes you wonder exactly how reliable that support will be after Mrs. Mars is gone.

Not to be doom-y gloom-y, but isn’t that kinda the whole point? That the accountability for business decisions is increasingly flowing up the ownership chains, that success is metricized into the barest financial terms, at the expense of literally anything and everything else that doesn’t fit neatly into an expense report? 

Take away the individual passion, drive, commitment to community, the will to support…. and, what’s left? Board rooms filled with folks who are only interested in reviewing quarterly reports prepared by lawyers and accountants? 

“oh lawd, are you off ranting on the internet again about things you can’t change??” — doozy, probably

So… yea. You may be wondering what this all has to do with me and my horsey habits and lifestyle LOL, which. Ya know. Fair. And to be honest, I’m not sure I have a point or specific objective here today. Other than, this topic or issue or whatever you want to call it, has been on my mind lately. And I like to write about the things I care about, so here we are. 

I promise that I’m NOT going to try to assign any sort of responsibility or guilt or accountability of any kind onto our role as consumers in this whole situation, either. Bc let’s be real, we’ve been conditioned as a society since basically the 1970’s industry-backed anti-litter and recycling campaigns to view these problems as a failure of individual behavior, placing the burden on consumers while largely leaving the systems responsible in place.

But idk about you, but I don’t really believe that individual consumer behavior can have the same impact or influence as regulatory systems or legal structures. 

Even so, however, I’m still trying to be more thoughtful about my own consumer behavior — divesting where possible from private-equity or major conglomerate ownership structures. Whether that’s through being more selective of the specific brands I buy, or the platforms I use, or whatever.

“ugh i’m outta here, off to go enjoy my purina* snacks” — doozy, not interested lol
(*a Mars company, just so we’re clear on my own “purity” levels here!)

Tho, as ChatGPT informed me (no doubt through its own controversial network of resource and intellectual property consumption / subversion…), it’s better to think about my consumer behavior in this regard as more of a spectrum rather than a purity test. Not every system and supply chain is equally avoidable, ya know? 

But where possible, I’ve made a few small changes. Like my cat food purchases — bc again my precious pets and their increasingly picky tastes were what prompted some of this research in the first place. 

ChatGPT has been useful in researching independently owned and operated pet food manufacturers (tho definitely let me know if you have recommendations too!) and actually, retailers too. I moved my auto ship orders from Amazon to Chewy a couple years ago from a desire to divest from Amazon… But lately am looking to do better than Chewy too. Luckily in my area we have locally owned options like The Mill. 

One downside is in pricing, tho — as major retailers like Amazon or Chewy can often offer the “best” prices. Which, obvi this whole enshittified system shows that the lower prices come at their own costs too… But given that prices of literally everything seem to be climbing at the moment, ya know. Yea we all have to make the right choices for our own situations. No purity tests. 

“sometimes life is better with less thinking tho!” — doozy, philosophical

It’s worth thinking about, tho. Or at least, it’s been on my mind lately. Maybe not exactly a “solve-able problem” per se, but something I’d rather be open-eyed about when making my choices. 

Anybody else thinking about the state of these things lately? Or maybe you have your own private equity horror stories (lord knows I’ve heard all manner of nightmares about everything from fridges and washing machines that only last 2-3 years, to predatory mortgages, lost pensions, senior care disasters… etc, just to name a few!)? 

Or maybe you’ve always prioritized being a more conscientious consumer — and have horse- or pet-friendly recommendations in that regard? Or, lol, and no judgement here, but maybe ignorance is bliss for you when it comes to the darker machinations of the corporate world?