Some nerves were due to very specific (and imo, reasonable) concerns, like would Charlie cope well with the atmosphere of an event with 275+ entries? Others were more amorphous and vague, having little to do with the horse himself, and none at all with our chosen level.
|<3 this canter always. also i kinda appreciate that this pic almost makes the horse look kinda stout haha|
|suddenly charlie is a pro at trot fences. who knew?|
And the more mistakes I made, the less I trusted myself. So now I'm kinda in this place where I'm not so sure I should be pushing certain boundaries without supervision. It's self-fulfilling too, bc even when I make myself go forth and Do The Thing, I'm not always fully committed so then I make more mistakes and then feel even less convinced that it was actually a good idea in the first place.
|big guy will GO tho if i goose him haha|
|somehow couldn't quite find a good distance to this jump, but big guy made it work anyway|
|locked and loaded!|
Idk. It's like every time something went a even little bit wrong, I immediately felt like "See, this is why I shouldn't be doing this - I knew this was a bad idea!" Which is totally bogus, but the mind can be a very unkind thing sometimes.
|we biffed this one a few times too bc turning right is hard. finally got it sorted tho|
We intentionally kept things very light (it was hot out ugh) but purposeful. She didn't mess around with the "tiny" stuff (bunny ears absolutely relative here bc our "big" is .... well, you know haha) and quickly got us figure-8ing around an outside line to warm up before going down the line and then putting a course (Charlie's first!) together.
The warm up jumps went well enough that I only half-jokingly proclaimed, "We're done!" after cantering our first fence (in the video lol).
|unimpressed horse is becoming quite fun to ride!|
Anyway tho we kinda biffed the course the first time through bc I kicked for a leaper at the first oxer and we never quite recovered our balance through the next 5 fences (tho we did get an auto lead change haha, #winning?). In a sense, I was proud of myself for actually committing and making a decision that wasn't "zomg better pull more!" On the other hand tho, it totally threw Charlie off his rhythm. Oops. Useful lesson to learn, tho.
|pony can be cute when he feels like it!|
We biffed the next line bc I still don't know how to turn this horse right (it's a struggle, yo), but then the rest of the course was perfect (including an easy-as-pie simple change!!) - esp when I allowed him to get the correct striding down the other outside without goosing him. And trainer P had us go back and fix the first line right away, which flowed equally well (even if the turn was still slightly suspect).
I obviously still have a lot of work to do as a rider.... But the horse hardly seems to notice lol. He just keeps on truckin around. And rides like this do so much to help further dispel my nervous energy and give me the confidence I need to keep trusting the horse and committing to riding him forward.
Bc it's getting kinda obvious that Charlie is progressing in the jumping department a little faster than I am haha.... I gotta keep up with him! Have you ever felt that way with your horse? Like you were the one slowing down progress? Or have you ever felt like certain exercises were off-limits outside of lessons bc you were afraid of messing up?