Thursday, January 23, 2025

Guest Post on Doing the Thing

Editors Note: Something I miss most from the golden age of blogging was the sheer variety of voices and perspectives—the constant exchange of stories, insights, and inspiration that made this community truly special. We challenged each other, sparked ideas, and pushed one another to dream bigger. This space wasn’t just about sharing; it was about believing—believing that we could do it too. For me, this community was the spark that set me on the path to creating a horsey life I’d never even dreamt of.

One of those voices was Carly, formerly of Poor Woman Showing. Her helmet cam videos from her eventing days were wildly entertaining—so much so that, to this day, I still find myself silently shrieking, “Suck it in, Bobby!” every time I jump a skinny fence.

Over time, many of those unique voices disappeared from the blogging scene, including Carly’s. But sometimes, there’s more to say. Yesterday, Jen from Cob Jockey revived an old-school blogging tradition by replying to a thought-provoking post from Anna at Anxiety at A, with her own great perspective. Inspired by that spirit of conversation and shared ideas, I’m thrilled to host Carly here today with her own point of view.

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It’s January, it’s single digits in most places, and really, what better time to have an existential crisis than right now. Why? Because honestly, what else is there to do? In recent years, I’ve noticed a trend of people reevaluating their riding goals and moving in directions that look nothing like where we started when I first got into blogging.

Carly & Opie, doing the thing
Back then, the goal was “Get your Bronze” and “Go Training Level” in eventing.* It didn’t matter where you were starting, what horse you had, where you lived, or what your training program looked like—those were the boxes to tick. This weird ambiguous Must Have. But did anyone have an actual plan to achieve those goals? What came next? Were those the ultimate end-all of riding aspirations? And most importantly, why? Why did everyone want these things? 

Spoiler: I still have no idea. Maybe we were just young, dumb, and naively ambitious.

(*Ed. note: I remember it being Novice Level but Carly was always way ahead of me there lol!)

also Carly & Opie, doing the thing!
Since switching from eventing to dressage, the Bronze medal seems to be the universal stamp of "I did something!" And I’m fucking stoked I got mine. It was hard as hell, and I’m damn proud of it. But I’ve also seen a lot of stupid ways to get there—mostly because riders for some reason think it’s mandatory to have one, or else you can’t be considered a dressage rider.

Two scores at 2-1 just over 60%? It counts; we can cross that level off because we're totally ready for Third now! Who cares if my horse can’t counter canter, do a turn on the haunches, or if I can’t sit the trot and don’t understand what real collection is! Collection doesn’t even matter, because hey, now I can slap on a double and fake it! 

some “things” occasionally open to equine interpretation
I totally get the frustration with scoring and judging because these shortcuts do work sometimes. People can earn their Bronze medals without understanding the movements they’re riding, just because they’re on a nice horse. Big-moving horses that go round tend to score better, even when other fundamentals are missing. But here’s the thing: that’s not the only way to get good scores.*

I talk about this with my trainer all the time. I have a small, mediocre-moving OTTB. I am far from a beautiful rider to watch. Opie, my horse, finds it easier to do lateral work with his nose poked out more than what’s ideal for scoring well in the ring. We’re constantly working to get him to "drop his neck" and go deeper because that lifts his back and makes his movement more correct. When we get it right, he’s relaxed, adjustable, and correct. And we’ve scored 8s on medium canters— better than a giant, fancy AF but tense warmblood. 

(*Ed. note: Quick question, y’all, but when did this become about winning anyway?? Does somebody else’s good scores nullify your own? Isn’t that the whole beauty of a dressage test specifically and the USDF medal program more generally? That you’re literally being handed individual feedback for every single ride, every single movement? Compete against yo’self, friends, and you’ll always win!)

grays on gray lookin sharp
People underestimate how much of training is NOT a good time. It’s hard work, and it never stops being hard work. It’s tedious, frustrating, and often feels like you’re moving backward more than forward. You hit health problems in both horse and rider. The weather sucks. Money is a novelty. The list goes on, and there’s no magic wand to fix any of it. You just have to get on the horse. Do the thing. One day, you’ll look back and realize, “Oh damn, look at what we’ve actually accomplished—even though it didn’t feel like it at the time.” 

And if you're not committed to being down in the trenches and putting in the hard work, maybe commit to being a trail rider instead. Which is fine! Who cares! Horses are awesome no matter what you do with them! You don’t have to show to own a horse. Despite what I’ve heard from professionals (including an Olympic judge I audited this fall), horses won’t go extinct if we stop showing them.

aaaaaand occasionally lookin a little too sharp haha. it’s a journey, y’all!
But if you’re chasing big, lofty goals, understand this: it takes time. So much time. And even more work. It means showing up, sucking at it, learning from sucking at it, and then sucking some more. Build a support system that pushes you to be better. Don’t assume every off-property ride will be a slam dunk. Do the thing.

It’s frustrating to see people quit too soon—throwing up their hands before they even start, because they didn’t nail it right away, or bc somebody else got there ‘faster’ or ‘easier.’ Especially those who want to ride at higher levels but have never done so, or haven’t had to bring a horse up themselves. Do you think schoolmasters are just born that way? Ask your trainer how much not fun work it took to get those horses to the level where they can teach you fancy moves.

a journey worthy of the trouble tho <3
The more we learn with horses, the more we realize how much there still is to learn. If that doesn’t excite or inspire you—if it doesn’t make you want to dig in and do the hard shit to get better—that’s fine too. There are other roads to satisfaction and fulfillment with horses. 

But your journey and your horse are your own, and you get to define what succeeding means to you. There are so many ‘right’ ways to enjoy horses, and very very few that are truly wrong. But virtually every discipline demands grit, horsemanship, and a healthy appreciation that sometimes judges are just judgy bitches. 




15 comments:

  1. Love love love this. Thank you for sharing your philosophy Carly, as it's the same one that I've grown into over time. Is it age that makes us wiser?

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    1. lol I can’t tell if I’m getting wiser (autocorrect tried to make that say “wider” btw #rude) or if I just straight up care less what other people think LOL ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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  2. Love, love love this post. I miss Carly’s blog. I still follow/stalk her on instagram.

    NGL, I read the first part and thought ‘nooooooo don’t leave me Emma!’ There are so many blogs I miss.

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    1. I miss Carly’s blog too!! Sometimes I scan my reading list and it makes me sad how many awesome voices and perspectives have gone quiet. Sigh. I’m not done yet tho!

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  3. Great to hear from Carly and see Opie in his grown up glory! I have the perspective that my journey with my horse is unique to us, and if we decide to compete eventually in anything it will be with the goal of evaluating skills in a new situation. As long as we are "improving" and having safe fun, that's all that matters to me.
    Thanks for hosting, Emma!
    Betsy in WI

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    1. Thanks and couldn’t agree more <3 also doesn’t Opie look great?? These pics give me hope for doozy’s future LOL

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  4. This resonates with me so much. I often borrow the quote, "it's about the journey, not the destination" and that is absolutely how I look at my goals. Thanks for the post inspiration, Emma and Carly!

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    1. Thanks for reading - if only we could convince Carly to come back full time !

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  5. I really do think it's that we're collectively (me more than a lot of you... hahaha) are older and with age comes wisdom. So wonderful to hear from Carly again! I miss her blog tons, she always was honest and entertaining at the same time. What a fantastic job she's done with Opie too.
    And Carly, you're so right. It's all really hard. Nearly every day is hard. At least if you're doing it right and you care enough. I think that's the most rewarding part though. When it all comes together, you KNOW you earned that.

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    1. Dude I agree so much on every day just being hard, in one way or another. But it is so rewarding when things go well or come together. Just seeing how far Opie has come really drives home WHY it takes so long and is so hard - that’s a full body transformation from his racehorse self to being an absolute hunk of a dressage horse. Stuff like that can’t happen overnight !

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  6. Look at how grownup Opie is! I missed her blog soooo much!

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  7. God, I really needed to read this. I think everyone is around me is so focused on score and medal chasing, and then moving right up the levels, it's hard to remember no matter what horse you have, it's the journey not the moment, and there is no pressure to anything but enjoy your horse and the journey. I loved the aside of competing against yourself vs everyone else and winning, that really shook me to remember it's really myself competing with myself to do better than the last time. Thank you Carly for your post, and Emma for hosting.

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  8. I do so miss the golden age of horse blogging...

    Great post and awesome perspective!

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  9. I still do stuff with my horse and I still write about it (though single digit winters do not inspire me and my horse is basically spending his time eating himself warm until better days) but yeah. All progress with horses is pretty much infinitesimal in the day to day and my 'goals' aren't super interesting to much of anyone else. I still have the Birb (he's 14 this spring) and we're still plugging away, currently working on canter-walk. (Yes, that was the project last year. Are we any closer? I hope. Canter-trot went from a shitshow to a smooth, balanced, absolute snoozefest, so that's progress. Canter is more adjustable and has more sit in it? Progress of a sort.) Horse is still taking a cheerful, non-tantrum approach to the work, so... we're winning. I do really want a horse that skips, but I also want a horse that likes me and feels comfortable and confident in his job, so it may be a while. It may be never. We'll see. What level do I show? I don't, as it happens, enjoy showing. I enjoy riding my horse. I like clinics. I like working towards goals. So, I do that. Showing makes me want to puke (and sometimes actually puke), so I don't. And that is OK.

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  10. Great guest post, Emma. I wonder how many other former bloggers would like to do a guest post with you? It would be fun to read updates from folks who used to blog regularly. Might be a neat periodic feature?

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