the deal with doozy

In my experience, horse people are notoriously cagey and secretive when it comes to broadcasting specific details relating to unsoundness in horses. Probably for good reasons, if we’re being honest. But. Good choices aren’t always my specialty. SO. Let’s get into it lol.

obsessed with the greenery

The briefest history for those of you not following with bated breath on the edges of your seats…: Doozy came up a bit lame in January with suspected bruised feet from nasty ice balls packed into her shoes. That lameness abated, but she’s been intermittently on and off ever since. 

We’ve gone through a litany of theories on potential external causes — a deep slow-healing bruise! poor saddle fit! cracked heels!! — and an initial lameness work up a few weeks ago showed a basically sound horse who flexed negatively, kinda reinforcing our hypotheses about external factors.

omfg RUDE BISCUIT leave that poor pony alone >:(

I’m a firm believer that the simplest solution is often the correct one. Occam’s Razor etc. And I appreciate that my vet has a well established methodology for measured, conservative and incremental interventions. Sometimes “wait and see” is the correct first choice. 

But we’ve waited, and we’ve seen, and now we have the information that the intermittent nature of this NQR-ness persists even with (some) rest. So the next step was to find a way to get the vet and Doozy into the same space at the same time the mare was presenting with lameness, which we accomplished last week.  

Sass Level 5000

Quick note here, guys: While I am committed to documentation and don’t mind transparency, please don’t confuse that with an invitation to provide unpaid / unsolicited counsel. Unless I’ve remitted payment to you for services provided in the last 12 months, I am not your client. 

Plenty of folks had plenty to say about their internet diagnoses for Charlie, as well as my and my vet’s presumed failings at addressing those diagnoses. You were basically all wrong, and all assholes. Those comments did nothing to benefit Charlie, and presumably the satisfaction for telling me that I suck as a horse owner was short lived anyway. So let’s just like. Not, yes? 

Maximum Pest

Ahem. Anyway. Back to the appointment. 

The main benefit of getting the horse and vet in a room together when the horse is actively presenting as lame is that we can do nerve blocks, which basically allow you to isolate areas of the limb incrementally to see at what point the horse goes from jogging lame to jogging sound. Starting from the bottom up, it’s a neat way to zero in on pain sources.

Doozy, naturally, was not the most compliant critter for this. It was hard to tell when the block took effect bc she reacts to being poked on sight. As in, I actually had to cover her literal eyeballs with my hands while my vet crouched on the wrong side, reaching under the mare’s belly to poke the blocked foot to confirm numbness. Ridiculous sensitive creature!

patiently eagerly chaotically awaiting the farrier

Our hope was that the mare would jog sound after blocking the foot. Which… she did not. Except about 10min later, after the block had likely diffused farther up the tissue planes of the leg — then the mare jogged sound. So. That is not explicitly conclusive, tho it tells us that probably our source is somewhere in the neighborhood of the fetlock and down.

From that information, we next moved to getting rads of the coffin and fetlock joints. I should also add — we did another set of lower limb flexions before the nerve block too, all of which were negative. As in, Doozy trotted away after each hyper-flexion the same as before.

incremental steps, y’all. we added hind shoes!

So I guess for those of you who, like myself, are wondering if this dilemma could have been avoided by a pre-purchase exam… I’m honestly not certain. The mare last year was sound. She still today flexes fine. And then we took rads and… Nothing super obvious there either. No chips or anything beyond the wear and tear that is common in racehorses. I doubt I’d have even done x-rays of the fetlocks based on how the horse flexed anyway. 

I bought Doozy for $1,500. This appointment with x-rays and an injection cost $1,200, and we only took pictures of one limb. PPE economics continue to be questionable for cheap horses.

stalkerish barn cats being stalkerish

Anyway, the fetlock had more signs of irregularity than the coffin, and since she still jogged lame after the initial nerve block and didn’t come sound until it had enough time to diffuse (presumably up the tissue planes to the fetlock), we decided to start there with a steroid injection. 

Yes. Injecting a not-quite-7yo horse’s fetlock feels… Not great to me. I don’t like it, not gonna lie. And I’m not totally sure it’s going to do the trick, either. Tho - if it does, and becomes a point of future management, my vet indicated it would be a good candidate for non-steroidal orthobiologics like IRAP. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, tho.

pls just be pretty sound

We also concluded from the rads that while Doozy’s feet look marvelous and the farrier is doing good things for her heels etc, we may have room to explore options with pads and/or wedges. And adding hind shoes — which was actually already in the plans — was confirmed as a good incremental step for continuing to work the margins. 

With a horse as sensitive as Doozy, she could be a marginal case anyway, ya know? It could be that a few little tweaks can make a big difference. Or at least. I am happy to hope. Regardless. Hind shoes are officially on. Fetlock injection will take time to settle in. So we’ll wait and see what impact these adjustments have, and assess from there.

she’s come so far in the last year and a half, it would be a fucking tragedy to pivot

It’s disheartening to be in this position, not gonna lie. Tho there’s a certain clarity that comes with hardship. Realizing that we may be dealing with something more serious got me thinking bigger picture about the horse, myself and the future. 

A clear next step was learning how/if Doozy could return to the adoption facility… An awareness that was **instantly** drowned by a gut-deep, visceral “But I Don’t Wanna!” 

Guys. I really like this horse. I straight up love the shit out of her. She is the full package. Challenging sure. But in all the right ways, and I can so clearly see a future for us. 

But. Obviously. She has to be sound. And if we can’t get her sound… Well. That doesn’t bode well, right? If we can get her sound, tho… Well, there are questions there too. Particularly around the long term sustainability of that soundness with respect to fairness to the animal. It’s on my mind, have no fear.

My deepest hope is that we are able to get the mare sound with a realistic management plan that feels acceptable. I don’t want to worry that running around novice level eventing would destroy my horse’s prospects for a comfortable life. And I also don’t want to worry about what happens to this silly sensitive creature if she goes back into the OTTB resale pipeline. 

So. We wait and see. And hope. 

friday foto finish

Happy Friday, y’all! It’s been a TIME around these parts lately. So instead of any deep thoughts or carefully curated considerations… Let’s just dump some fotos, yes? Yes. 

let’s sit back and smell the roses, eh?

first up: Doozy found a puddle and had #NoRagerts about it

youtube liked this video so maybe you will too lol

we also hacked out in the mist! was lovely, if slightly ill advised lol <3

rained upon pony didn’t seem to mind tho <3

you know what they say about april showers tho — it’s getting GREEN!!

and we all know how Ms Thing feels about her #snacks lol… omg those nostrils tho

in more directly related news, those cracks on her heel seem completely resolved, and were perhaps superficial all along. i dunno. nobody knows. horses, amirite?

but the mare persists in being totally gorgeously wonderfully rideable right up until, wham, off again. finally happened when i could get a bunch of video for the vet tho

yes i have reservations about sharing that video with y’all. 

but i am who i am, so it’s documented here. just don’t be bitches, yes?

naturally video of a lame mare is not the same thing as having a lame mare and a vet in the same room at the same time, so we persisted in riding ahead of the appt, during which time mare was lovely and less lame, grrr <3

we had a truly (maddeningly) pleasant experience schooling around the day before our appt — including flat work, ground poles and a couple little jompies — again, with the intention of helping her be most prepared to show the vet where it hurts. and the side effect of reminding me why i’m so attached…

made me think that now that Doozy knows how to use her neck, maybe the hackamore (with leather curb) could be a thing??

anyway there was also a scary bucket. and a cat hiding under the kubota lol

and then there was the vet appointment!! again!! and doozy agreed to sooooorta show a little bit of her off-ness

it was enough for us to do a nerve block, tho, and gather information from that. 

we took pictures too. nothing is really super duper conclusive, bc that’s apparently impossible / illegal with horses… but we are isolating variables and trying some things. 

wish us luck, tho expect it to be a little quiet for the next little bit

In the meantime, hope y’all are looking forward to a great weekend!

the world according to

In honor of what would have been Charlie’s Sweet 16 tomorrow, I’ve been thinking a lot about how much he taught me. 

lessons from charlie: face hugs are best hugs <3

After the better part of a decade with the world’s best brontosaurus (not to mention drawing paychecks from various barn mgmt jobs for 15 years before that…), I was pretty sure I Had Horses Figured Out. 

charlie reinforced that curry = life
also, wow the shedding volume remains intense

And, well….. maybe that’s just the plight of your typical one-horse adult amateur. What I thought were deep truths in horse keeping and training were maybe just…. Deep Truths About Charlie. 

I’ve written chapter and verse of the Book of Charles on ye olde blogge, but now here we are in a new place, new time, and with a different leading lady who — shocker — is a very different type.

doozy thinks the tractor is fine. the bunnies that live in the shrubs tho? less fine
charlie liked tractors too <3

But ya know. When I step back and think more about the big picture, the journey, the purpose of it all… There are some pretty important truths from dear Sir Charles that continue to guide me in my decision making and approach to Doozy. 

He remains my beacon of wisdom <3

patient biscuit!!

You might remember the trials and tribulations from Doozy’s early days… her failed 30 day performance review and a probationary period that wasn’t immediately convincing about her longterm prospects as my riding horse. 

And that was after just 30 (thirty) days! You would be forgiven for wondering (passively or otherwise) why I haven’t injected any of that same prior pessimism again now, after a whole 3 months (!!) of similarly uncertain turbulence.

charlie loved planting his nose on a friendly butt to zone out for peaceful hacks. doozy is still learning to be polite about following, but she’s getting better <3

Again, tho, if there’s one thing Charlie taught me, it’s patience. Gray areas from Doozy’s probationary period — would she be sound? would she even like eventing?? — came into sharp focus last year. Doozy loves eventing* and was remarkably sound before this winter.** 

(*obligatory “excluding dressage,” lol except I’m honestly excited about our work there too!!)

(**ymmv but around here basically EVERYBODY agrees that this winter was particularly atrocious)

trees are blossoming!!!! the season of renewal is upon is

Charlie’s first few years with me were characterized almost entirely by this weird anxious urgency in my approach. I could see so clearly how capable he was, wanted so badly to be where I had gotten with Isabel, and experienced every setback (and oh lawd, did we have setbacks!) like an existential shock.

And looking back on all that… Well. While I believe with all my heart that I loved the shit out of that horse and never lost sight of how lucky I was to call him mine… It’s also clear to me that I robbed my own self of joy, satisfaction, and downright pure unadulterated glee in being so preoccupied with where I wanted to go, that I couldn’t appreciate where we were in some pretty special moments. 

my sweet wild child. everything is so different, but thanks to lessons from charlie, i’m feeling excited and peaceful about the future <3

Charlie’s final lesson to me, of course, was that we don’t in fact have all the time in the world. His riding career ended long before I quite realized it. And while I’m grateful that he got a properly pampered retirement, that too was far shorter than I ever expected.

But it’s not the moments of glory, the blue ribbons or the big jumps that keep his memory alive to me. It’s those same moments of joy, satisfaction, and deep appreciation — often from the quietest days together, or from those rides where everything felt present and connected and flowing… Those are the memories that stay with me. 

And those are the same memories that guide me in persevering through bumpy times with this sweet red mare who is proving to actually be an incredibly cool horse, one who will undoubtedly teach me a whole new education. The World According To Mondeuse. Should we all be so lucky, of course!

wednesday wellness

Happy Wednesday folks! It’s been a week around here, not gonna lie. Life outside of horses has been a bit consuming, so it felt like a good enough time to just let Doozy rest whatever was bugging her after Loch Moy while I did other things.

stabby jabby <3 <3 <3

Tho, naturally, we were already on the books for a visit with my favorite equine wellness professional, who has been treating horses in my care since the Isabel days. 

finally learning to give in to the zonked-ness!

It’s funny bc I still remember her reaction the first time she met Charlie. Not that she said it out loud, but I could sense that she was maybe a little dubious about my choices in getting something so fresh off the track lol. This time around, tho, and obvi amost *ahem* 9 years later, she knows me and my horse keeping habits and is all aboard the Dooz-Cruise.  

started with two here but she twitched one out

And Doozy is obviously a much easier treatment case anyway. Aside from the whole “absolutely indignant about all the stabbing!” thing. She only has 13 race starts under her belt, compared to Charlie’s 33. And consequently seems to have much less generalized wear and tear.

end of the line!

Tho naturally we spent a long time discussing all the highs and lows from this past winter, and my various theories in unpacking Doozy’s nagging complaints. 

mare threw a bit of a tantrum about getting poked lol

Laura found a rib out right in almost the exact location of that squishy bump I’d seen appear under the saddle before we got it reflocked, and agreed that there was some generalized back soreness that tracked with our saddle fit issues. 

“i am immune to your sorcery!” — doozy, quite annoyed by the poking

She also observed that Doozy has a notably long “pain memory” — meaning that she continued to be protective and reactive to that spot even after the adjustment. This, to me, tracks with other aspects of Doozy’s personality — like her sensitivity to even having her hair *snipped with scissors OMG* back when I first got her. 

lol not 2 seconds later

So that, to me, was another good reminder to always first consider pain as a potential source for any strange, unusual, or undesirable behaviors in the mare. Bc apparently trying to push her through pain could lead to long term problematic associations… 

Which obvi is true of any horse. But y’all know how challenging it can be to parse out that slippery gray line between training and wellness issues.

overcome lol

Anyway. Relating to the NQRness, Laura advised that I should try to manufacture an opportunity to get my vet and Doozy in front of each other at the exact moment Doozy is presenting her lameness, since it seems to be a fleeting intermittent thing. Her idea was that we should do a nerve block to either confirm or rule out the foot as a source. 

Tho, not long after, I observed some strange cracking around an old heel grab (from about 7ish weeks ago) that got me wondering….

chaaaaanging gears — that’s kinda ouchy looking, no? an old heel grab is growing out and seems to have split a bit?

I shot the picture off to my vet, who confirmed that Yes, in fact, that probably felt a bit tender and ouchy to the mare. She suggested a soaking protocol, and also that I check in with my farrier about it.

vet recommended hitting it with a solid soaker

The soaking protocol was…. Not gonna lie, kinda challenging. It’s a pretty intense powder that you mix into a solution and then soak for like… 40-60minutes. And guys, I’ve actually never tried to soak one of Doozy’s hooves before…

this product calls for 40-60 minutes of soaking, so i opted for a plastic sleeve

Charlie was always such a perfect gentleman (most of the time, lol), and would more or less acquiesce to standing in a bucket for however long I needed. Which, realistically, was usually just like 20min. 

amazingly, it worked! held in place by a polo wrap and some elastikon

I wasn’t convinced I’d be able to keep Doozy reasonably civil for that long standing in a bucket… Plus I didn’t want to keep reintroducing more dirt and debris into the soaking solution. So I opted to try these crazy plastic sleeve type bags again. 

everything stayed in place for a full 30min before the bag sprung a leak and drained

I’ve only tried this soaking method once before and didn’t have a lot of luck — the more fluid you put into the bag, the farther it collapses down onto the ground… Plus I had what felt like a realistic expectation that Doozy might, hm, lose her shit upon discovering a water balloon attached to her foot lol.

But it actually worked great! Doozy took a few moments to finally put her foot down into the bag and keep it there. Then I quickly wrapped on a polo and secured the bottom with elastikon. And Doozy made me so proud by not being particularly fazed while occasionally stepping around in the crossties, good mare!

hopefully it was enough to clean out any nastiness that got into the split

We had a nice long peaceful grooming session (omg the shedding is intense right now, tho omg) before the bag finally sprung a leak and drained at about the 30min mark. Not quiiiiiite as long as I wanted, but hopefully long enough. 

farrier suggested using Farrier’s Fix for more routine care + maintenance

It honestly doesn’t really look all that terrible as far as hangnails go… And it’s nothing compared to Charlie’s gnarly heel grab injury from last year. So hopefully the soak cleared out any embedded funk, and we can just manage with topical treatments from here out. 

i like that this stuff can get applied the entire hoof, including frog, heels and coronet band

Farrier suggested this Farrier’s Fix oil, which markets itself as a versatile cure-all treatment for whatever ails ya, or your horse’s hoof. I stayed away from the softer tissues immediately post-soak, since the Hoof Soak advised not to rinse afterward and I didn’t want to mix chemicals. But this will be our daily go-to for the heel bulbs, frog, sole and hoof wall going forward. 

here’s a cat as a reward for looking at so many foot pictures LOL

Hopefully that’ll finally do the trick for getting Doozy totally back to full and consistent comfort!! Bc omg it’s already April, how on earth did that even happen??? We got stuff to DO, mare, c’mon!

So yea. If you need me, I’ll be fussing over my horse’s feet and hoping for a full return to riding asap. Wish us luck!

not on point, but on purpose?

I’m (re)reading a book right now about facilitating collective movement, and the author made a beautiful observation about the importance of focusing less on being ‘on point,’ and more about staying ‘on purpose.’ In other words, less of the discrete moment in time, and more of the big picture long view. 

testing our new Schockemöhle Air Silent bonnet!!

This felt timely to me after having a bit of a bust at the Loch Moy starter trial. Guys. I hemmed and hawed about entering this thing. See-ed and sawed. Whiffed and waffled. Well.. Mostly just the whiff. Classic clown stuff. 

I entered the show. Then literally scratched later that same day (getting a refund minus office fee). Then entered again, paying full price (again) PLUS late fee. And have literally goose eggs to show for it LOLsob.

did a little last minute grid too just to be safe

But ya know. Here’s the thing. I really love this event. The place has fantastic vibes, produces super reliable experiences, and I just ya know… love them. Loch Moy also has a lot of atmosphere, but in a not-unfriendly way. It really felt like such a perfect first event of the year.

Plus, I volunteered for the Saturday classes and could do all my course walking then… Leaving Sunday wide open for designing the most Doozy-friendly show schedule possible. 

loch moy requires competitors to bring their own pinny numbers… but my personal life has been hectic and both nights i missed closing time at the print shop by like 15min… DIY it is!

So with all the NQR-ness and missed time, I thought about maybe just signing up for a dressage test of choice. Or maybe just a CT? But ultimately I chose to enter the full HT, figuring if the mare felt good we’d just keep going. But if there were any issues? We could stop at any time. 

My sense was that… I’d regret it more for not at least giving it a shot, than if we had to call it early. And ya know. Here I am now on the other side of having had to call it early and… Honestly I feel great about all of my choices (well aside from all the wasted office fees LOL). It was a net positive experience.

walked the course the day before after volunteering — it look great! had a ditch option!

The cross country course looked literally fantastic. Some of the jumps were pretty small, sure, but eh at this point in our education, easy is fine. More importantly — the course had a ditch option, and a truly lovely water option that would allow us to jump all our jumps AND try out the water, but in an almost zero-risk sort of way. Perfect!

course also had a reeeeally nice water option. you could go direct through the water alllll the way around to that little jump just behind the car. OR, and my plan, you could do the jump option instead of the flagged water entry (was a pleasant starter table we’ve jumped before) and then go thru the water to the next jump. best of both worlds!

I was also determined to really ride each phase intentionally and accountably. Particularly the dressage. I wanted to really put our recent lesson to work, ya know?

But first, we arrived on the grounds about 2 hours prior to go-time so Doozy could have plenty of time for hand grazing, hand walking, and general familiarization. Last fall she was cool as a cucumber walking around all the rings, but on this day? Mare was lit up. I was grateful for the rope halter, to say the least. 

doozy was decidedly less quiet on the grounds than she had been last fall. we got there tho!

That didn’t give me the greatest feelings about surviving the warm up — but eventually Doozy seemed to remember where she was when we passed through the parking lot, and arrived back at the trailer after about an hour a much more settled horse. And in fact, was a dream for getting tacked up and hacking back over to the dressage rings. 

Then she could have knocked me over with a feather by how quiet and pleasant she was in the warm up ring. We spent a long while walking around, practicing changing bend and getting both my legs on and asking her to soften and give… And guys, the feeling was fantastic. She was super chill, and I truly believed we were about to *finally* ride a test that wasn’t characterized by purely trying to survive lol. 

look how excited i was to go do our dressage

But, womp, I picked up the trot and she was a little off again. Same friggin thing that’s been plaguing us. Siiiiiiigh. 

So ya know, obviously that was that. I dismounted, and we strolled placidly back the trailers, pausing by the show jump ring and all the other hallmarks of a busy bustling horse show. Absorbing as much exposure as possible before going home again. 

i asked the steward to take a photo of us for proof of the goodness before dismounting…
womp womp

And to be perfectly honest, Doozy was so completely relaxed by the end of the (very short) day that it was impossible not to see the value in the experience even if I remain frustrated by trying to understand what’s bugging her. 

Realistically, we probably would not have had a perfect test, but it might have felt a lot more rideable than anything from last year. The show jumping may have been dicey in places (there were a few spots on the course that looked less favorable to us than last year’s course). But the cross country I expected to be an absolute dream, and have zero reason to think otherwise. 

the exposure is so good for her tho

Which… is maybe another reason why this day was a net benefit. For me, a big part of feeling ready and comfortable and confident about showing revolves around having a relatively reasonable set of expectations. Navigating uncertainty is not among my chief strengths as a human. 

But on this day, I’m legitimately proud — proud of Doozy for venting her early season fizz quickly and efficiently enough to be a sweetheart in the warm up ring. But also proud of myself for setting up a healthy mindset and head space ahead of the show. That’s something I’ve been working on for years at this point — given my general tendencies toward anxiety, overthinking and vague existential dread. 

Being able to sleep well the night before, go through all the motions without obsessing, and get from point A to point B with just one foot in front of the other — all without once saying, “Eh maybe I don’t actually wanna.” To me? That’s a clear win. YMMV.

filling the tank before heading home <3

It’s also reaffirming to me that we’re on the right track with Doozy’s general training and education. It IS actually getting easier, and she’s growing and maturing as reasonably quickly as can be expected of a sensitive redhead. 

Tho obviously… That still leaves the NQRness as a literal and figurative sore spot from the day. So that’s something that will need a little further examination and exploration. Maybe the saddle needs another tweak - did we go too far with the flocking? Or maybe it wasn’t the saddle after all? TBD I guess. Tho we were already scheduled for a regular check in with our favorite chiro / acupuncture practitioner this week anyway, so we’ll start there. 

So ya know. Stay tuned, I guess lol(sigh). In the meantime, I’m just going to appreciate that while our “season opener” may not have quite gotten “to the point,” maybe it still supported us in our purpose. For now, that’s good enough.