looking back to look forward

This past year I took a fresh approach to goal setting, inspired by an article upper level event rider Matt Brown wrote for the Chronicle of the Horse. The gist was that we're more likely to find happiness and fulfillment by focusing on process goals rather than outcome goals.

Essentially, the "outcome" is often what most of us zero in on as the big important holy grail - the perfect sound byte encapsulating our hopes and dreams. The front page news, the banner in the sky. Moving up! Qualifying! Winning!! Doing this specific thing!!!

All too often, tho, horses and horse sports can be agonizingly riddled with obstacles well beyond our control. Even the smallest missteps can instantly derail all our carefully laid plans. And if we've put all our eggs in that specific "Outcomes" basket.... Well, it's really hard to not end up demoralized or discouraged.

Thus, Matt suggested instead that riders should focus on process. Meaning that, Yes, we need to understand where we want to go, what that ideal outcome might be. But our goals and our metrics for relative success should be based on the component processes that fall exclusively under our own personal jurisdictions, insulated (hopefully) from external forces.

This way, even if you don't end up arriving at that shiny coveted outcome, maybe you've still put together a happy year of horsing all the same.

behold! our stuff!!
i missed the year end awards banquet, but a barn mate grabbed our swag for us!!

And so, for 2019 I first identified what I hoped that outcome would be. Namely, I wanted to move up and earn some competition qualifications toward a longer term goal. To do so, I parsed out the following component processes that would be my Official 2019 Goals:

1) Continue preparing for a move up to T
2) Organize necessary paperwork + memberships
3) Plan a thoughtful calendar considering favorable venues
4) Budget appropriately and realistically (and early)
5) Maintain a comprehensive wellness plan for Charlie
6) Invest in developing my skill set and toolbox as a rider
7) Focus on positive experiences and additive mileage
8) Be flexible and accept setbacks with poise, bc #horses
9) Enjoy the ride!


Maybe I was prescient in adhering to this thought exercise haha, bc yea. We totally did not reach the overall "Outcome." Charlie and I did not successfully move up to T in 2019. We took one little baby step in that direction in July that resulted in a very literal crash 'n burn.... And I basically retreated into a quiet low-key tailspin for the next few months, womp.

HOWEVER!

By couching my official goals in terms of the processes above, I can actually look back on the year and feel really good about how it all went down.

we won 6th and 8th place in the novice divisions (one for rider, one for horse), and 3rd place in the Thoroughbred Incentive Program novice division!! which means: ermagherd NECK RIBBON!!

It turned out to be a building year for us. And maybe, arguably, we needed it. Maybe our future prospects will be the better for it.

I learned so much this past year. So so so much. Maybe it's easy to forget, but I've never really done this before. Charlie is my first horse, right? And he's certainly the first horse I've really ridden at this level. Isabel and I made it to Novice, sure, but only got through two events before I was sidelined with a broken leg. And we never got back. So I never really felt "established" at the level.

Meanwhile, Isabel was the sturdiest of Arabs and will undoubtedly outlive us all. Charlie is.... Made of different stuff haha.

So much of what I've learned with Charlie is more than just the training and skills required to ride the level. It's everything else - all the in-betweens and behind-the-scenes stuff. 2019 for me was a relentless crash course in learning what it means to maintain and condition the horse for this new-to-me level of riding. And unfortunately I've had to learn a lot of it the hard way.

excuse our janky outfits but we had just been out hacking haha. obviously tho we had to drop everything and take pictures with all that schweet schweet satin!! plus bonus TIP hat lol (kinda wish it was any color other than red but oh well....)

In looking back on 2019 through the view of those component processes, tho, I'm happiest about three specific things:

1. All the budget and financial health work that I undertook paid major dividends. My costs of living and spending habits have stabilized and no longer require obsessive oversight. I know exactly what my horse habit costs (might even post on that later lol), and can project with a high degree of accuracy what sort of savings plan is necessary to do all the things I want to do.

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2. Which is useful, bc possibly the biggest win of this past year was the investment I made in my and Charlie's education. Again, might post in more thorough detail later on the overall breakdown of lessons / clinics / shows / etc.

Suffice it to say, tho, that 2019 was a major year of learnings for us. And it was AWESOME. Sure, we didn't ultimately successfully move up, but we're in a totally different and better position today, and have a TON of amazing memories and experiences to look back on.

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3. Especially bc one process in particular, "Focusing on positive experiences and additive mileage" really helped me keep perspective when things got rough. Arguably, this goal was the kick in the pants I needed to put together our little mini Fall season this past November.

It's entirely possible that getting back onto the competition scene for those two amazing back to back schooling shows at Novice (Loch Moy and Waredaca), and then again at the derby in December, is the main reason I'm finishing the year feeling so positive, rather than defeated.

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All this to say, these goals really helped me overall in getting closer to where I want to be. So I'm carrying them forward into 2020 too, with some minor reductions for the sake of simplicity:

1) Continue preparing for a move up to T
2) Budget appropriately and realistically (and early)
3) Maintain a comprehensive wellness plan for Charlie
4) Invest in developing my skill set and toolbox as a rider
5) Focus on positive experiences and additive mileage
6) Be flexible and accept setbacks with poise, bc #horses
7) Enjoy the ride!

god i love this goofy horse <3 <3 <3

Laying this out also helped me understand what was maybe missing from this past year. I invested heavily in our education, yes, and worked hard to check off the important boxes and gain the necessary experiences.

Sure, I rode with a LOT of world class riders and coaches, and solidified the team of professionals and practitioners who will help me keep Charlie happy, healthy and thriving. I got a lot of really really good advice this year from a lot of people who know their shit.

Something was missing tho: Cohesion.

This past year lacked any sort of unifying thread through all those experiences and learnings and clinics and wellness sessions. Instead it was at times a bit scattered and almost transactional.

Perhaps the most important thing I learned this year is that I don't really know what I don't know at this level. I can try to build out all the check lists, and collect all the knowns and unknowns etc. But maybe life would be easier if I stopped trying to reinvent the wheel, stopped having to learn some of this stuff the hard way.

Thus, my other big objective going forward is prioritizing Mentorship. I crave a gps, a guide, a beacon of wisdom, who will help me pull all these various component threads together into a more complete and comprehensive plan.

This isn't getting spelled out in any sort of explicit terms as a goal, bc I still don't know exactly what it will look like. But maybe let's consider "mentorship" as something of a theme for the year, a lens through which I hope to apply all those processes above haha. Or something. Idk.

ALSO!! for those interested, i made a year-end compilation video!! 

all the highs and lows, all the memories, all in one convenient place haha

All I know is: We had a great 2019 overall. And now it's 2020. A new year full of new opportunities. And I'm already pretty freakin pumped to see how it'll all turn out ;)