Tuesday, September 12, 2023

doozy's 30 day performance review

Monduese, aka Doozy, joined us just about a month ago. The conditions under which I decided to purchase a second horse were... pretty specific. So. Let's see how things are shaping up, yes?

cute? check
The short story is.... Doozy flunked her 30 day review. Bc... Well, soundness. Recall her left hind limb exploded into cellulitis about 2wks after coming home. And now, even as that issue subsides, she appears to be working thru a run-of-the-mill abscess in the same leg.

easy to handle? double check
As far as I'm concerned, my second horse -- this lovely sweet red mare -- has basically one job: be rideable. And so, with 8 rides in the first ~30 days.... That's not quite good enough.

sittable = can do!
There's a longer story here, tho. Obvi, lol. First off, the "8 of 30" isn't totally fair bc I was away a couple days, some days we did non-riding activities intentionally, plus I take days off too. So it's actually closer to "8 of ~18" of rideability. Still not good enough for "second horse" material, but not so dire either. 

ooooh, trottable too!
More importantly, tho, I'm not actually making any decisions about Doozy based on a 30 day timeline. Bc she's a horse, and cellulitis happens, and abscesses happen too. 

driveway walkies with the bestest chaperone in the whole wide world
So ya know. Cons to keeping the mare: alarming pattern of not being sound very early in the relationship. 

Pros? Ya know, I kinda like her ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

curiosity -- check!
I'm finding it really really valuable, however, to constantly pause and take stock of what I'm actually doing, or trying to do, with this little lady, tho. Bc I keep consistently running into the same mental road block. 

can hack in company!
She is without a doubt going to be a more complicated and challenging horse to "get going" than Charlie was. BUT. That statement also remains true of.... virtually every horse everywhere. Bc Charlie really was that easy. 

yep, still cute!
Except for when he fucking was NOT. But see --- these are the memories long forgotten, right? Bc once a problem is fixed and finished, it's forgotten, right? So I have these insane rose-colored glasses from Charlie, that... are kinda telling me lies. 

arena work??? hmmmmm
fun fact: after this 'periscope up' moment in our first lap of the ring during Ride 8, i hurriedly shoved that phone right back into my pocket bc mare was coilin up for a maneuver lol
So when Doozy does things like spin turn around and bolt proceed at speed back toward the in gate on our first solo + ridden exploration of the dressage ring... My mind immediately goes to.... 'Well shit, what now?' 

Except... Actually... I can (on occasion) sit through unplanned dance steps. And, despite my general and varied neuroses, in a moment of intensity, I usually focus. Plus, turns out, while Doozy is capable of quite literally retracting the full length of her neck back into her shell in a bolt moment of speed, thus rendering the reins laughably useless, neck straps are one helluva a drug haha. Literally. As in, drag that lady back down to earth, and now. While seated, natch.

soundness??? double hmmmmmmmmm
All of that to say, ride #8 was.... educational. And it takes me kinda a lot of forced perspective to recognize that it was a net positive ride. We both learned a lot about each other. The ride resolved positively. 

We stayed in the dressage ring walking purposeful figures despite occasional interruptions via interpretative dance moves... until I was satisfied with the level of focus and softness to allow an extremely choreographed exit from the ring. 

And then we stayed (mostly) flatfooted the long walk back to the barn. Sure, I had to keep a hand on the neck strap the whole time, including occasional tugs to return Ms Thang back to walk, but we did it. First fully solo ride = accomplished. 

enjoys spa days? 1,000%
And ya know, that's the stuff, right? Like, that's the puzzle, that's the game play, that's the day in, day out type situation I want to unpack, pick apart, analyze, experiment, all the things. I don't need the horse to be a carbon copy of Charlie, bc ya know, he was challenging in his own ways (who remembers the "dinosaur-stuck-in-tar-pit" routine??).

and also, michael
Except, ya know, my training methodology basically relies on "routine consistent practice" to account for whatever I might lack in actual skill. 

And, UGH, go figure, the next day, when we were all set to replicate our adventure from Ride 8 with a Ride 9, But This Time With A Friend, (Punky + Amy, bless them), Doozy presented with a shockingly sore foot that by all accounts is likely an abscess in her unshod hind foot. 

ok lady, you know the rules! 
So. Ya know. Yea, she flunks her 30 Day Review. And I told her as much. 

At this moment in time, my idea is to have another check in around the 90 day mark in November. Ideally, I'll forget all about it bc we'll be too deep into all the things of young horse development. But ya know. If we're only at ride 16 or 17 by that point.... This a reminder to my future self to stay focused on what we're really trying to do here. 

Anyway, tho, idk, maybe some of this comes off a bit flippant, or harsh. I hope not --- hopefully you can read between the lines to see my humor and fondness for this sweet little mare. But it is also a serious subject, and one that makes a lot of horse people uncomfortable. 

And I KNOW some of you have had to confront the question of, "Is this the right horse?" Which often leads to uncomfortable, unkind, or even insidiously mean questions of, "or is it me?"

So I'm curious if you've ever come up with any sort of rubric or decision making about, what makes a fit, a fit? 



24 comments:

  1. I’d say that Doozy’s probation has been extended.😉 I can’t say I have a rubric. I have run into issues with every single horse early in our journey and totally failed to move them along. I probably wouldn’t send her back based on the solo ride. The lameness would give me pause. But I’ve also had Irish blow up a leg and it was an abscess all along. The weather has been prime for abscesses this summer. I likely would wait and see. So I am not helpful at all.

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    1. Yea the “lack of training” doesn’t bug me bc…. I specifically bought an untrained horse lol. Not being able to work on addressing that on a semi daily basis, however, due to lameness… THAT bugs me. Luckily all the professionals in my life are fully capable of providing counsel here, and they see no reason to make any sudden moves. With that said, tho, feelings might change if the horse is still more or less in the same shape and we’re staring down the barrel of winter lol…. We shall see!

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  2. This brings me back to deciding to do a PPE on Ben because he had been sound the entire 4 months I had known him. Only to have the universe immediately laugh and abscess for 2 months. I don't consider it flippant. Obviously you care about her and are providing her education and tools to help set her up for life wherever that ends up being. But at the end of the day some horses seem to be more sound than others, and having two that are of the less sound variety isn't ideal. I'm assuming part of the reason you went through the process you did is the safety net she has IF it doesn't work out for her to be a mostly sound horse. So she could return, but with more positive life experiences under her belt to help her moving forward too.

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    1. OH! And yeah, Goggles and I had a VERY similar experience in which going to the far end of the GY's field early on caused him to slowly turn around and then attempt galloping back to the barn. We did that one other time when I rode him bareback in the rain away from the barn (I'm still an idiot sometimes). These didn't super bother me and we're still working on expanding his safe distance away from friends, just as you are, and it is going well. Won't lie, that and the bucking associated with the canter early on sometimes made me question buying a large four year old OTTB instead of a pony like I said I was doing. But at the end of the day he's got a good brain, as it sounds like she does, and I just have to take a deep breath and shape it. I'm not sure if in another 15 years I'll be so eager to, but mid-30's I should still bounce a little bit LOL!

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    2. Dude I’m not gonna lie. It does feel like some sort of karmic retribution after I was like, “ehhh PPEs-SchmeePEs ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” and now the horse all jacked up haha. Realistically tho based on the two vets (emergency and regular) who looked at the cellulitis, there’s no reason to think it would have prompted concern. And obvi abscesses are just that (usually lol). But yea if for whatever reason this pattern continues or my feelings change, I’ll do the best I can to ensure she’s a better horse for the time she spent with me. Frankly tho - ugh I just want to ride!! I don’t want to go shopping again, so it’d be reeeeal nice if she just gets with the program LOL!

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    3. Ha omg Goggles…. Glad to hear it’s a relatable experience ! and yea that’s exactly the feeling I have about the young horse shenanigans — it’s a real issue to confront, and can maybe slow down everything else in the process, but eh, now is the time! And I suspect Doozy will figure out the routine quickly. Whatever her feelings about the in gate are, they definitely pre date her time with me and likely have deep associations. We will figure it out… if only we could get consistent !!!!

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    4. Oh and I just learned Sunday that horse immune supplements are a thing and especially the ones with bovine colostrum can actually really legitimately work to boost the immune system (as told to me by the emergency vet as we were working on my own problem child). So maybe worth asking about for Dooz?

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    5. oooh interesting! we did talk through some nutritional options, including with the emergency vet who mentioned some supplemental drug (whose name i instantly forgot obvi) that helps the lymphatic system drain better. we're keeping it really simple for now, just changing one thing at a time, to see where that gets us, but it's nice to know there are options out there!

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  3. I think you are taking a very practical, thoughtful and methodical approach to evaluating if Doozy will ultimately be the right fit for you. I commend you for it. It's hard to stay objective when it is so easy to become emotionally attached to a horse. But considering the amount of time, money, effort, emotion, blood, sweat and tears required to participate in this equine journey, you have to make sure you are investing it in the right one.

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    1. i will never forget auditing one of Janet Foy's "Through the Levels" clinics (highly recommend if you ever see one in your area -- they are wonderful!), and she was full of all these witty one-liners and quips, like --- "People will divorce their husbands but won't sell their horse." and ya know, that really stuck with me haha.

      idk if it's the sort of cultural ethos of, "you either get into an ambulance or you get back on" type attitude, but horse people seem uniquely unwilling to walk away from an unsuccessful partnership. which, i totally get -- when things fell apart with isabel, it honestly felt like an extremely personal failure - and i didn't even own that horse! i'm hoping this is all hypothetical with Doozy at this point, so far i really like her and am excited about working through all her puzzles.... but gah, be sound, mare! fingers crossed lol....

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  4. I spent sooooo much money and sooooo much time trying to make my last horse work out. To ultimately end up heartbroken and "retired" from riding. While also stalking said horse online because even though he hated me I needed to know he was safe. I wish I had done more in the way of performance reviews early and said ok, this just isn't working out. Things for me could have ended so much differently. And the beauty of your situation is that if necessary she CAN go back to the rescue and end up in a suitable home.

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    1. ugh yea :( if anything, i'm grateful that this IS a second horse, all my eggs aren't in her basket, she doesn't have to take the full pressure of my hopes and dreams and anxieties lol, so it's a bit easier to evaluate her situation more objectively. not that it's really EVER easy with horses.... but i definitely think i'd be maybe seeing things a little differently if i had been in your shoes and she was my one creature into whom i'd already poured so much time and energy and effort! all that said, i still hold out hope that you'll take up riding again at some point ;)

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    2. I told Katie my new goal is adult leadline champion lol

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    3. i meeeeeannnn, that can totally be arranged LOL

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  5. I really like how you're thinking. As lovely as she is, her job is to be the riding horse. Totally agree that cellulitis and abscesses aren't a reason to make any decisions, but monitoring the pattern is a logical step for sure :) I really enjoy my little palomino mare, but there is a large part of me that wishes I had made some decisions re: her being a practical fit for me, earlier before I got so invested in it all. Because while it's turning out ok, those are a few years of time I could have been having fun (and spent less money)

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    1. yea it's definitely hard to be super duper objective about these animals that we love so much... like, from a purely economical / rational perspective, it should never be too late to make any sort of decisions. but realistically, for us mere mortals, the sunk cost fallacy is a very real thing, and we are "reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because we have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial"

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    2. Your logic is 100% correct. Now if only I could stay objective :)

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    3. LOL you and me both.... all that rationality and logic and all that sounds so nice and clean and easy until we run face first into real life haha. actually tho, i've been reading books on behavioral economics lately (misbehaving by thaler is excellent, if you are at all interested) that basically say that all these rational logical economic models describing how we should go about our lives entirely miss the fact that.... humans are, by and large, NOT rational. the sunk cost fallacy is expounded upon at great length, bc.... turns out, humans do in fact weigh sunk costs as part of their decision making... and we can, in fact, rationalize anything LOL

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  6. Evaluation is part of my life right now. lol Because when you have an oops baby that the husband gets attached to, baby has One Job and that One Job is not "be an obnoxious, pushy, kind of mouthy little turdball." But also... he's 2. So is this "never gonna be husband-safe and needs a new home" or is this just "2 year old that really freaking needs a playmate or a job"? Or the outside third option, "what do you mean my 3 year old is the husband-safe one and now the baby is MY problem"? No idea, but SOMEONE has a date with the trainer for Baby Boot Camp, round 2, and we'll see what we learn from that...

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    1. lol boot camp #4lyfe!!! that's the one given in all the above lol, the horse must be useful! in whatever job capacity that means for our purposes!! good luck with the next round of training!

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  7. Have often heard it said that it really takes a year to develop the relationship with a new horse - that was certainly true for me with Val. Definitely had plenty of days early on when I questioned whether we were a good fit. Maybe making do until the fit improves is what pushes our horsemanship forward? Also how close together were rides 8 and 9? That abscess may have been brewing for a while and impacted how Doozy felt before it was detectable? Rooting for you :D

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    1. thanks! luckily the relationship building part is some of my favorite work to do with a horse, and also a big part of why i really like this specific mare -- she has a lot of qualities that i really really value in a horse. it's just the soundness piece that hasn't gone our way this month. for forgivable reasons... but, also, i'll need to see a difference in the overall proportion of "rideable days" to lame days hopefully by november to feel better about things!

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  8. My biggest deal breaker for a riding horse is when I don't feel safe on a horse, consistently. Every horse has moments. Young horses are dumb. Some horses are not okay for me in certain situations (I don't hack Thunder myself much bc he is a turd, but we're all good in the arena). But when a horse feels more unsafe than safe, and it's not improving after a few weeks of effort/investigation, I'm done.
    As a side note, while I applaud everyone who owns and manages horses who have soundness troubles with the compassion that you do, I'm absolutely flabbergasted by the amount of people who breed with unsound horses.

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  9. I like how logically you're thinking about life with Doozy. I have felt a lot of guilt in the past when a horse isn't working out. I try everything in my tool box to see if we can figure out how to fix whatever our issues are. And it all takes time. Like 30 days probably isn't enough time to decide for sure. Though honestly, I wouldn't blame you if you had made a different decision so quickly. Having your second horse be as unrideable as the first one is a real slap in the face! (Hi Pammon, looking at you sir.) But sometimes it hasn't worked out. If you remember Ducky the stationary hony or Romey the not quite right OTTB. I think at the end of the day, there's nothing wrong with admitting it's not the right fit. And it's better for everyone involved when that's the case that you find the right fit for the horse.
    As for Doozy, I'm glad you're giving it some more time. She seems like she has a great brain, and she's probably not at all used to riding anywhere alone so that's a big test for her. Hopefully the abscess heals up quickly so you can get back to work!

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