Thursday, February 13, 2020

10 reasons my horse is a goon

So. Charlie. He's an interesting sort of horse, ya know? Many many many redeeming characteristics, sure. He's gentle, kind and generous. With a disposition that's sweet and steady, while also keenly observant and intelligent, calmly confident.

Charlie is a clever horse who is generally in command of how he navigates the world around him. And he does so by believing, inside and out, top to bottom, that *he* is the center of the universe. He seems to truly believe that the rest of us have all been placed here for the sole purpose of petting him, telling him he's pretty, and giving him treats. And occasionally to gallop him across the open countryside with reckless abandon.

Ya know. My kind of horse haha.

There are other aspects to him, tho. Things that maybe you don't notice at first. But that, the more time you spend with him, the more you realize that.... Charlie is a weird sort of horse haha. Equal parts goof, goon and geek lol.

So let's look at some examples, yes?

1. He's kinda creepy about kids / ponies / dogs / pigs / small things

Charlie is a heat-seeking missile when it comes to small children. And small ponies. And small dogs pigs and cats. Literally anything small. Charlie's into it.

It's cute because he's a big giant horse. Buuuuuut....... If he had a mustache and drove a van, you'd probably call the cops.

 it's extra weird if you hum the "jaws" theme song....

2. Charlie has extremely dweeby hair

Being totally honest with you, I bought Charlie bc he's down for face hugs and has good hair. His mane and tail are full, thick, and luscious, plus super fast growing. Except. EXCEPT. His forelock....

He has a very unfortunate cowlick. Plus, homeboy somehow managed in the last couple weeks to rip half of it out, thus doubling the dweeb factor in the process....

pretty much the standard state of things

but wait, something is different....? where'd the right side go?!?

excuse me sir, but HOW?!?
3. He has a penchant for choosing the "hard way."

Sure, Charlie is inside his own damn stall. He could just, ya know, move his body to the other side of the open door to eat from his hay net. But noooooo, must go *over* the door.

He routinely pulls this same style move when trying to snag hay grass and/or water over fences too. Or, ya know, his extra special patented move of stepping *into* the water trough when drinking, rather than simply standing at it.

this is why we can't have nice things, charlie
4. Actually, he's kinda a weird drinker over all.

I'm grateful that Charlie is a good drinker in that he will, in fact, drink when he needs to. But... still. He still finds a way to be weird about it.

Charlie LOVES drinking from puddles. Is absolutely insistent upon it at times. Nevermind that he was just in a stall with fresh clean bucketfuls of water. This muddy puddle has his name all over it. Or that scummy pond. Whatever.

Long term readers might even recall that for his first few years as an event horse, we'd routinely stop in the middle of our (un-timed) xc runs for him to sip from the water complexes.... Stunning virtually all the jump judges lol.

mmm pond schumm is delishus. also, he's a snotty sorta bro bc of his tie back surgery.... 
5. Like any prince worth his salt, Charlie makes me come to him.

Especially if it's extremely gross mud. Yes I lost both my little rubber boot covers in this escapade.... bleh.

legit was tempted to hop on Tommy to ride the rest of the way to Charlie LOL

6. He's.... kinda weird about touching things. ALL the things. 

Charlie is a tactile sort of horse. He likes to get all up close and personal with his surroundings. In this video it's a tractor. Really tho, it could just as easily be a water spigot*, door knob, your pocket, a kubota, the trash can... Really, anything.

*Remember that time he got his halter stuck on a water spigot while confined to small paddock turn-out? But then he got stuck and ripped the friggin spigot straight out of the ground and flung it across said paddock, and proceeded to flip the ever-loving fuck out as water gushed out like a geyser flooding the paddock? Yea. It's this aspect of him that led to that catastrophic turn of events...

7. Charlie has the most giantest mushiest smooshiest nose and absolutely nobody can resist the urge to smooch it. 

"resistance is futile"

8. He is extremely photoshop-able 

9. Charlie loves his own reflection

"what a stud!" - charlie, probably

10. And naturally, despite all the weirdness, he's still basically the best ever. 

photoshop-able AND photogenic <3

What about your horse -- anything weirdly endearing about your creature too??


  1. How have I never noticed his super ridiculous forelock with its center part before?!

    1. Lol sometimes I think he keeps his head up so high all the time so people won’t notice nerd hair ;)

  2. He really is the most photoshoppable animal on the entire planet. Opie is also obsessed with booping the snoot onto anything and everything. He probably thinks his real name is Stop Touching That.

  3. Charlie is such a good giant. Need to come see him again!

    1. seriously!! i keep trying to find a weekend for a fair hill trail ride too and it's just so hard to get all those ducks lined up ugh. one day we will make it happen tho!

    2. I'm not quite ready to trail ride yet... We're not there yet. Sometime this spring/summer when Nay gets used to riding with other horses. But, maybe one weekend day I'll come down to see S and we can trek up and see Charlie.

    3. oh that would be awesome! my farm is right on rte 1 so it's actually kinda a perfect meeting location too. and ya know, you could always scope it out as a potential location to bring Nay for safe less-likely-to-get-lost-or-run-into-spooky-bicycles-and-covered-bridges-or-strollers trail type experiences too ;) charlie did his first ever "trail rides" at this farm, actually.

      but just a visit would be nice too. actually S and i are going back to that pizza joint tomorrow. presumably you maybe already have plans but it's a thought!

  4. Actually your farm would be awesome for a first trail ride. Once it's nicer out and we have some nicer (warmer) weather, let's explore that.

    I might be able to do dinner, but I'll have to see... And talk to S. That pizza was so good... All that food was so good. If not this time, some time soon!

    1. On second though, I have a meeting till late so another time for dinner!

    2. next time! and we'll keep the trail ride idea in mind as the season warms up!

  5. See! Now this is exactly what I want to know about everyone's horses!! Sure, many are decorated professionals and compete at the highest levels but I love hearing what makes them so unique and special. Maybe I just like goons?? :) I've always been a huge fan of Charlie's star so I appreciate his efforts to prevent a forelock from blocking the view lol

    1. ha i'm all about the goons too <3 <3 <3 it's the special little tics that make the horses so important to us anyway, right?? and omg his friggin forelock.... it kills me. KILLS me, ugh lol

  6. haha great list! I think Dante shares #1 with Charlie lol

  7. The photoshops though! Hahahaha!
    Eros has a similar part to his forelock. It's why I got him the superman browband, cause it reminds of the superman suit under the business suit.
    Pammon is similar to Charlie in being a bit of a stalker and having to touch everything. Shiny likes to touch things too. But she's more aloof about it.

    1. lol gotta love those stalkerish close-talking ponies!! and yes i love the superman browband idea! i actually have a photoshop of charlie as superman that allllllmost got included in this post, but was cut at the last minute haha

  8. I feel like a mini bowler hat sitting right between the ears would complete Charlie's look. That mane tho!

    My guy has shown (more than a little) desire to stomp our chickens 😬

    1. ha ya know, charlie *does* look quite dapper in caps!! maybe i'll have to get him a bowler LOL. also omgosh no stomping the chickens into nuggets plz!

  9. Haha Charlie - that forelock! Too cute. Copper has little teddy bear ears (well that's what I call them lol) and tons of hair. He is always looking coyishly out from under his "bangs". He also smacks his lips at you for treats and bobs his head. I guess it has worked for him, so he keeps doing it. lol

    1. oh man i love the little ears sticking out of giant floof haha. too bad charlie's kinda got the opposite situation going on right now.... LOL

  10. Charlie’s forelock is epic. He looks like he should be wearing a pocket protector and thick rimmed glasses.

    1. omfg i think you just inspired the next photoshop......