Saturday, July 1, 2017

watery thoughts

Today is a very big day. In serious terms, we are contesting the unrecognized introductory level at Fair Hill's July Starter Trial. This is a very big deal. Huge.

Of course, nobody knew training a horse for cross country could be so hard - nobody knew that water (which we will see today at Fair Hill, and it's a wonderful water - a beautiful water) would be so complicated! 

But I've got a plan. And let me tell you - it's a very good plan. Maybe the best plan there's ever been, but you know we won't talk about that. We don't like to brag. 


We've got some very good people too - really, a terrific group of people. You've never seen a group of people this great! They won't be weak on water - no, they're very tough.

Allison and Michele will be there competing with Dino and Remus, perspectively. And they are very qualified, let me tell you.

And Austen and Megan, who get very good ratings, ratings through the roof!, might make a surprise appearance too. But you'll see - it'll be a surprise.

Charlie and I have had tremendous success already - have you seen it? We've had tremendous success. But we don't talk about it. Even tho we've got the biggest audience in history now - bigger than any other horse blog. It's true.

Those so-called jump judges treat us so unfairly tho. You've never seen anything like it! Never, in the history of unrecognized eventing, has anybody been treated as unfairly as me and Charlie about the water. SAD.

Honestly, I thought it would be easier.

I'd give us an A, tho. Charlie's doing a good job, an excellent job. Despite such terrible, negative covfefe.

Fortunately I've got this blog so I can talk directly to the people, without having to deal with such unfair, (and un-elected!) jump judges. Really, they're a total disaster! Out of control!

If you think about it - we've done more in the first 9 months than maybe any other OTTB or horse trainer ever. EVER. If I'm being honest, it's very impressive.

I really just see the bigness of it all.

There's going to be so much winning tho. We're going to win so much you're going to be so sick and tired of winning.

It's going to be amazing.

#MEGA

24 comments:

  1. This is so completely, totally awesome. You are going to win bigly!

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  2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  3. But where can I get my Make Water Great Again hat?

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  4. I giggled really hard. And I also agree with Carly. I need a Make Water Great Again hat!

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  5. Best post of all time! It's yuuuge! Others are stupid, low ratings. SAD!

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  6. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK THIS WAY!

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  7. This made me laugh but also made me sad lol

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  8. Your success will be unpresidented!!

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  9. Humble, intelligent, well-spoken - THIS is what a blog leader is supposed to look like.

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  10. I like a blogger who can speak their mind. But those jump judges? They don't have the face, I mean STAMINA to be judges. Lock 'em up!

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  11. :'D You are honouring Fair Hill by your attendance!

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  12. Congrats on making water great againπŸ˜€

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  13. This horse trial is going be YUGE!!

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  14. Omg, this was delightful! I went to dressage clinic today, fumbling my way to a better understanding of Things. Probably you will have more winning, though. I look forward to the recap!

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  15. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    Plz make the abovementioned hats be a thing.

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  16. DYING LAUGHING ALL OVER AGAIN!! The interpretive reading in the truck definitely put this post over the top! 10/10 would buy a "Make Eventing Great Again" hat.

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  17. liked it reading it on your phone in your trailer yesterday, loved it with your reading it to us in the back of the truck going to walk cc, ADORED it last night and about died laughing...HA HA HA

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  18. HAHA!!! Darn those "fake" judge jumps, can't trust them anyways!

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  19. OMGGGGG. I am DYING. So much laughter. At first I was like uhh what is going on. Then I got it. Too funny!!!

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  20. HILARIOUS!!!

    I'll bet those some of those jump judges commented on the size of Charlie's hooves - SO UNFAIR. You really need to up your anti-cyberbulling game.

    Also. I would buy that hat as well. SOMEONE GET ON THIS.

    Yuge Covfefe
    Tiny hands
    Make Water
    Great Again.
    Bigly

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  21. There was an interpretive reading?! We must restage...

    I need a hat.

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  22. LOL! I also need to see the interpretive reading!

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  23. This post simultaneously made me laugh and cry.

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