Tuesday, January 17, 2017

what I say v. what I do

How about a little moment of funny (maybe), self-deprecating truth telling haha. It's obviously no secret that I spend a LOT of time philosophizing about the finer points of horse training - all the little nuances and incremental steps and whatnot. The nitty gritties.

Like yesterday's post. And all those lengthy, lengthy, LENGTHY discourses on trailer loading. Ya know. All that stuff.

Sometimes I suspect that those posts come off as... hm, what's the word? .... Pedantic? A little bit like a boring lecture from that stupid pre-req class you had to take before getting to the good stuff? (it's ok, my feelings won't be hurt if you're sitting there silently nodding like, 'YUP' lol)

hard to tell but the saddle and girth are all muddy. bc yours truly walked away without securing the girth... only to have horse spook and spin, then spook again when the saddle fell under his feet.... ugh emma c'mon
The thing is. I'm not writing all this stuff bc I think I'm an expert at it (tho perhaps it sounds that way?), or bc I think I've somehow uncovered the secrets of the equestrian universe and am benevolently condescending to bestow my wisdom upon you (I'm pretty sure it definitely sounds this way sometimes haha).

Rather, I write it bc the writing helps me learn. Helps me organize my thoughts, commit new information to memory, and occasionally glean new insights just by taking time to write it all out. And I know there's at least one or two of you out there who appreciate the extra detail.

"halp i need an adult! my person is trying to killlll meeeeee!" - charlie, probably
But the reality is... well... my actions are sometimes far less lofty than what I often write lol. Because sometimes I do some REALLY dumb shit.

It's honestly almost like I'm trying to traumatize my horse, guys.

So it's time to set the record straight: For every long-winded, overwrought treatise posted on ye olde blog, there's likely some occasion where I've done something spectacularly shitty / borderline dangerous with my most saintly OTTB around the horse trailer.

No joke. Poor poor Charlie. Oh how he suffers. Much woe!

Our brief history together is already littered with experiences that can best be described by, "Wow that could have been so much worse!"

surprisingly not this season's hottest fashion trend
Like that time the surcingle on his sheet got caught in the butt bar of the trailer as I was unloading him, and he got awkwardly stuck half on / half off the ramp.

Or that time I backed him off the trailer but couldn't figure out why he was doing it so.... weird. With his head and neck allllll stretched out and a slightly panicky look in his eye. Oh. Bc I never unhooked the goddamn bungee trailer tie and he was actually still fucking attached.

note the mangled bungee casually chillin in the background.... 
Or more recently, when some good samaritan was honking at me like a crazy person 25min into my 30min drive across a busy, rainy highway under construction. Bc my fucking passenger side trailer door was OPEN OMG WTF EMMA REALLY????? ARE YOU TRYING TO GET THE HORSE KILLED WAT R U DOIN??????

Ugh. For fuck's sake. I need to get my shit together... Thank fucking god Charlie's got such a good brain bc he's gonna need every ounce of that good sense to survive life with me!

So. Let that be a lesson to y'all out there: Sometimes I'm kinda an idiot. Ugh. And my gentle giant horse is worth his weight in gold. Have you ever done something that makes you question whether your horse ownership license should be revoked?

71 comments:

  1. Have you ever done something that makes you question whether your horse ownership license should be revoked? Err yes got on Vallu without checking his girth and it was not done up tightly enough (like it was super loose) and as I went to get on the saddle slipped over... Vallu just stood there hahaha!

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    1. Omg what a saint haha! He's no shorty either!

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  2. So you must be my secret twin because I do all the same stupid shit and spend far too much time thinking....

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    1. Ha I knew I couldn't be the only one!!

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  3. So. Many. Things. We all have our idiot moments. Sprained my ankle badly because I tried to hop on Stinker bareback. Didn't double check my girth and was using my trainer's new saddle. It slipped when he was cantering and for some unknown reason he actually stopped despite the fact I was desperately clinging to his side. The list continues...

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    1. Ugh yea that ankle thing is definitely something I would do too lol

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  4. I don't even want to enumerate the number of spectacularly stupid things I've done with my horses...like last fall when I climbed on Cinna bareback (using a neck stretcher as reins) and proceeded to drop the 'reins' and put my arms out to the side. On a 4 year old. On like her 10th ride. Without real tack. Or a helmet. Yeah good call there Leah. Got a funny GIF out of it though when she spooked and I almost ate sand 😂

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    1. Lol you are WAY braver than I am haha - I rarely even rode my broke mare bareback, and only bridles was once totally by accident (the f*ing thing actually fell apart mid gallop, oops)

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    2. Braver, or dumber. Jury is still out. Probably dumber 😋 hahaha. And I will only do bridleless in a very controlled space! Too much of a weenie to do it in the open where the horse could decline to participate and just leave haha

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    3. lol idk, i guess it all depends on how it turns out right?? and agreed on the whole 'bridleless out in the open is probbbbbably not a good idea' thing ;)

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  5. We're all dumb sometimes (some of us more often than others ;)). I got on for stadium the other day with the off side of my noseband buckled over top of the cheekpiece. Didn't notice until I was about to go in, when of course the only person nearby for me to ask to fix it was the 3* rider/trainer. I swear I have put on a bridle before.

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    1. lolz yup. definitely been there before too. there's something about show day where i somehow forget how tack works. weird.

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  6. Oh lordy, you are not alone. The dumb crap we do? I don't post most of the crap I have done. I can look smart, and I remain that way as long as I don't open my big mouth and share my stories!

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    1. haha i should try that whole 'keepin my mouth shut' thing.... but the stories are fun too tho!! lol

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  7. I do stupid shit all the time. Like leave the stall door WIDE OPEN while I take halters off at the back of the stall. Like I'm practically begging them to run away. HELPFUL.

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    1. lolz i totally do that too. or walk away without hooking the stall door closed....

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  8. You are not alone! We humans can be so challenged!

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  9. All the damn time. Thank goodness for saintly horses.

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    1. amen to that. this is the REAL reason i chose a quiet horse haha!!

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  10. Oh geez, I do appreciate you writing down the thoughts. We are all just learning and being able to read a post like yours yesterday helps me just see where I am at and with all the fabulous feedback you got, it was so interesting to hear other people's views as well. You know I am the queen of stupid though (ehem, kicked in face unloading a horse, or that time I didn't do the saddle up tight enough at a horse show, saddle slipped under her and she took off bucking around the fair grounds, or that other time I tried to ride in the snow and my poor horse fell and I tore my meniscus...) I am such a moron.

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    1. ugh we aren't a very fantastical club... but at least we have cool members? and yea you've certainly had your fair share of incidents too.... it's always something, right? ugh

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  11. Oh man...this should be a blog hop. Let's see....there were all the times I let Max 'self load' into his stall from the pasture. There's no reason he couldn't have taken off for never-never land. One time he did make a bee line for the grain, which involved squeezing between the hay. The only way out was to back out. Thankfully he let me guide him with his tail. That could have ended badly in several ways. A couple of weeks ago I was lunging Maggie and accidentally ran her into a tree. I've ridden both of them knowing the girth was still a little loose. I definitely take advantage of their overall good nature and do stupid stuff like walk behind them without touching or making a noise, gone under the lead rope when tied instead of behind. I'd probably crawl under them too if they weren't so short.

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    1. haha omg i've definitely lunged a horse into a jump standard before.... oops!!! and i always ride with a slightly loose girth too, even tho that's such an easy thing to fix! and i didn't even know going under the lead rope when tied was a bad thing... just goes to show!

      but yea haha - if you wanna make it a blog hop go for it! i love hearing everyone else's stories lolol

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    2. I've always been told not to go under. Probably because you could get squished. Either that or it was because most of my lessons occurred at a stable that ran a therapeutic riding program and we had to keep the kids from standing or going right in front of the horse. I didn't realize that wasn't a common rule. Hehe.

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  12. Or the one time I tossed the reins over C's head, took the halter off, and before i could bridle him, he started spinning cookies in his stall with my bridle dangling between his front legs and the stall door open? 0.0 whoops.

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    1. omg don't destroy the tack, Courage!!! not the bridle!!!!

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  13. The one time I was lunging D and he was feeling very fresh, so I decided to stand directly behind him to send him forward and he kicked me in the ribs. Good times. Or free lunged him in a round pen with some fence boards down because "It's Dino what could possibly go wrong!?" And he jumped out of the pen and ran around like a wild Arabian stallion. Or the multiple times I put my husband on him when I knew he was having a Sassy Pony Day, and said husband fell off. Whoops.

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    1. um poor Mike lol?!? also that kick to the ribs sounds freaking awful. idk how i haven't managed to befall a similar fate yet....

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  14. I definitely am not licensed to horse, nor am I licensed to adult. I also thank god every day that I have a horse, who for all of her redness, is very forgiving of the stoopid hooman.

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    1. thank god for forgiving horses. that's all i can say!

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  15. hahahah oh no leaving the door open.

    hey, good airflow?

    whatever I have tried to take runkle off the trailer at least twice without actually UNTYING HIM from the trailer. he just stands there going OMG MOM WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID.

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    1. well technically i DID close the door... but i guess it didn't latch all the way shut??? idk. will investigate further lol. and poor runkle. charlie felt similarly confused but i guess those bungee ties are pretty darn stretchy bc he got alllll the way off the trailer with the thing still attached - it never actually broke!

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  16. Uh, pretty sure I have also been there before lmaoo. I vote this turns into a blog hop because the stories are just too much.

    To make you feel better, once I was trailering Suzie and it turned out I was using a ball that was too small for the trailer hitch... I cried for like four days afterwards because the trailer literally could've come unhitched and killed her. #iamstoopid

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    1. ooooh please add your stories via blog hop!!!!

      and omg i know that feel about biffing the trailer hook up process. i haven't done that exact thing, but i've failed to secure the locking mechanism thingy or connect the electric... probably i've failed to do most stuff at least once. it's a miracle nothing has happened!

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  17. The worst is when I ignore a potential physical issue and blame it on behavior. That's when I feel like the worst person ever

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    1. omg yes, i know that feeling and experienced it too often with my last mare. to the point where maybe now i'm so worried about doing it with charlie that i'm going overboard in coddling him...

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  18. I've done a fair amount of stupid things over the years (like check my loose girth before ground mounting Stretch and then think "I'll tighten it when I get on" and proceed to flip under his belly). But one thing I've been doing without fail to poor TC is tripping over the damn mounting block. He started out by flying away from me whenever it would happen, but eventually he just ignored it. Clumsy riders make bombproof horses!

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    1. Haha but see that's just harmless hilarity right??? Lol

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  19. There was that time I stood directly behind my drugged horse who is a confirmed kicker where blankets are concerned, and proceeded to try to pull off his bottom blanket while leaving the others in place... and promptly got kicked in the knee. #brilliant

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    1. Oh! And that time I galloped my horse into a leftover wire fence, hidden by tall grass.

      He's a saint. I'm an idiot. Wire fences are evil.

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    2. Ugh that wire story was a bad story

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  20. I feel like every time I throw one of my horses in some new situation that I'm hoping for the best. Candy hasn't been on a trail ride before? Well, let's take her out where she'll have to bushwhack through uncleared trails, cross through water, and behave around several other horses! Gina's never been foxhunting? Well, no time like the present to see if she'll kick horses, hounds or humans and keep it together galloping in a group! Moe has never done anything like polo before? Sounds like a great time to take him to a polocrosse lesson, where I'll wave a stick around, let him get hit with a ball, and other horses may or may not run into him!

    My basic horse training philosophy is "sink or swim, ponies!"...how am I not dead yet hahaha?

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    1. hahaha well clearly it's working out so far! and hey, isn't that what having adaptable versatile horses is all about? or... something??? lol ;)

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  21. Totally relate. One day I will remember to pay attention to what the lead rope and Eli's hooves are doing while grazing.

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    1. oh man i am SO BAD about that. too busy taking pictures lol

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  22. Mmmm yup. I've totally done a few things, accidentally and intentionally, with my mare that make me wonder how I got so ridiculously stupid lucky with her. Though I can specifically empathize with you on the loading without untying thing...I once forgot to undo the lead rope tied on the fence post and tried to lead her away. So much fail.

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    1. haha the fail is strong with us all, apparently!

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  23. Most of the really stupid things I'm waaaay too embarrassed to admit to and suppress it into the recess of my mind.
    One that comes to mind is when I let Ben go in a huge open field because I figured he'd just eat grass, because that's what he was currently doing and not take off across town.
    Sigh...

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    1. ha, whoops. tho i totally used to let isabel graze loose on this one mostly enclosed hill by our barn. i say it was mostly enclosed bc... well. it wasn't totally. and it was so funny too - i could totally tell by the way isabel looked when i let her off to graze whether or not i'd actually be able to catch her again. and yet, i still did it!

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  24. The answer to the equestrian universe is 42

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  25. And that's why good ground manners are so important...for when you inevitably do really fucking stupid things to your horse, they'll just stand there and be like, "You're doing a really fucking stupid thing to me. Fix it." :P

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  26. I have obviously made my share of mistakes with Murray, but I have to say that having a CRAZY SENSITIVE freakout monster like I do means that safety and safety checks are always on my mind.

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    1. Yea I mean ... But shit apparently still happens. For instance. I shut that door. But I guess not all the way....

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  27. I think we all do stuff we regret later. Add in horses, and well, my regret list is rather long. The one thing I do all the time that's going to bite me in the butt one day is that I leave Bridget tacked up and unattended. Sometimes, for pictures, sometimes setting jumps, sometimes because I need to run to the washroom. I'm not big on tying with the bridle and so far she just stays parked wherever I leave her...(so far.) In my defense, this occurs in contained areas only....but still one day I know my tack will likely suffer.

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    1. Lol I always used to worry the same thing with Isabel. She never got my tack.... But she definitely ran away from me a couple times haha

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  28. I'm pretty sure everyone has forgotten to unclip their horse at least once before backing them off. But not all are as saintly as poor Chuckles. I did it once with my mom'a mare, who gladly broke her halter and went gallivanting all over the property. She absolutely did not slow down for people in her path.

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    1. I'm honestly just impressed the bungee never fully snapped. Like. The horse was ALL THE WAY off the trailer. And that tiny little 22" bungee was still hangin on!!

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    3. Yeah. That's super impressive! Also possibly not the point of the bungee. Lol.

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  29. I literally LOL'd at this AND at some of the comments. You're not alone! I once was carrying my saddle over to Gavin when I made eye contact with a tiny little rodent who had made his home in the saddle cover. In my panic I literally threw the saddle AT GAVIN before running away. Poor Gav tried his hardest to get away from the leather monster his mom had just fought off, but alas, he was tied.

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  30. Uh, my flying trailer door incident at my most recent endurance ride. That was seen by all of ride camp including one of the sport's top recognized riders and every single ride vet. Not my smartest moment....😂

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  31. One time I didn't properly latch the top of the back door against the side of my trailer (which I leave open for airflow in the summer). I didn't realize it was like that until I braked and it swung around and slammed shut, poor Hero must have been so spooked at that crash!

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  32. The photos made me giggle in the best way :) Thank goodness I'm not the only one that has "what the hell was I just thinking" moments!

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  33. OMG I have SO been there. Thanks for making me laugh!!

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