what comes next

So basically you all are just the nicest, most supportive and compassionate people ever. Thank you. Seriously. Way to go, internet strangers!! You have legitimately lifted my spirits!

Your comments here and the emails and texts offline have improved my outlook and attitude immensely.

It's funny how deeply an issue with our horses can upset us. Obviously in the grand scheme of things, it's supposedly just a hobby or whatever - but still. I don't think I'm the only one who considers horses an inextricable part of my identity.

And so many of you know exactly what I mean by that - and have struggled with this exact same set of frustrations and disappointments. Solidarity, y'all.

strange but true: isabel LOVES my mother. i've never seen her act so affectionate to any individual above the age of 7. this pic is from fair hill a couple weeks ago - right before we headed up to jump.

And so I'm feeling better about looking forward. About making plans. Honestly I can't help myself. I'm a planner by nature. What can I say?

i inadvertently interrupted a moment here. horse and cat were in deep conversation. you can almost hear them hissing at each other "shhhhh! be cooool, she's watching!!"

But the "all pressure is off" rule is sticking. Yes to making plans - but they can't all be dependent on each other. Like, if I plan a show, then I would also need to plan schooling and conditioning and lessons that all add up to a successful competitive experience. Yea. Fuck that right now. None of that noise.

I would like to stick to a regular riding schedule tho, just for my and the mare's physical benefit and enjoyment - but not for any reason beyond that.

perhaps the cat wishes i would butt out?

I will also be sticking with the same regular lesson program. The fact of the matter is that this training issue stems from a lack of discipline. No amount of hacking out and trail riding can fix that. (Of course, we <3 trail riding so there will still be plenty of that all the same!)

But with no competitions on the horizon - no external pressures - we can just focus on breaking it all down, piece by piece. Sometimes focusing on me, sometimes on the mare. I haven't decided what role training rides will play either. Mostly bc my own opportunities for saddle time are limited and I have a couple lessons to learn here too.

We will see tho. No pressure, one way or another.

mare looks like she might have something to say tho. i can see it now: "Dear Diary, Today she...."

And actually - this coming holiday weekend is already looking fantastic from a horsey perspective (again, I owe that sentence and the fact that I'm actually looking forward to riding this weekend all to you - because two days ago I had zero inclination to ride. so again - THANK YOU).

our dressage test from Jenny Camp. pretty solid, nicely consistent! i especially love the "cute" comment at the top. and fun fact - the judge popped out of the booth after i finished to ask if isabel is an Ann McKay horse, bc, in fact, this judge happens to have an Enzio baby too. same age as isabel - her horse and mine very likely grew up in the same paddocks together. so funny - this is such a small little horse community and isabel is so recognizable within it.... if only we could stop embarrassing ourselves in the show jumping ring!!

Working from home today and tomorrow always helps, and we miiiiiight just be sneaking in a lesson with our favorite dressage trainer who we haven't seen in a while. Plus a lesson with trainer P at OF. Because Dan's training ride did in fact give me a couple ideas for how to improve my ride over fences with Isabel.

Sunday is show day for Brita and I am not in the slightest bit disappointed to be spectating instead of riding. It's oddly relieving.

i may be satisfied with isabel's solid dressage prowess. the jumping tho... no haha.
also, handihorse, is that you?!?

And then Monday is very conveniently a holiday, AND a paper chase at Tranquility. So yea. We are gonna do that. Funnily enough, when my barn mate asked if I wanted to go, she offered me the ride on a different horse so I could just sit back, have fun, and enjoy the ride.

And my immediate response? Ain't no better paper chase horse out there than Isabel!! I can already feel the wind whipping past us when we open up into a flat out gallop through the fields....

an oldie, but goodie. this pic takes me back to another time when we couldn't show... for... different reasons.

So. Essentially what I'm trying to say here is that while we are in some ways stepping back - especially from competitions - I'm mentally preparing myself to step up to the plate for this whole jumping problem.

And rest assured - I'll likely have plenty to report back on, especially for those of you who deal with similar issues!!