moments with mondeuse

Back in May when it became apparent we'd be moving farms, I'm not gonna lie to y'all... I was a bit, hm. Nervous. 

my sweet little wine grape <3

Probably not unlike a lot of you who have dealt with horses for years, lived through all manner of experiences, I felt reasonably confident and secure in my abilities and knowledge. I was surrounded by peers who have been shoulder to shoulder with me through all the ups and downs over the years. 

really can't overstate how dry it got in june and july, these two ladies picked this paddock clean in just a few weeks

But it kinda struck me that... Ya know. Going into a new place, a new community that maybe wasn't so familiar with me, or my perception of myself... That it was realistic to expect folks to make first impressions based on what was presented to them. 

but just a little rainfall (thanks Debbie!) and suddenly we're growing again!

Which... If you recall back to May... Included a horse and rider who couldn't realistically trot around a circle without a non-zero degree of chaos. 

and then omg the two moved into a smaller but rested + luscious paddock!

Maybe in a way it was exactly the reality check I needed. Like. Yea ok, we are kind of ridiculous. But... Eh, I didn't buy Doozy to be perfect, or to go win all the horse show ribbons, or jump giant jumps. I bought her to learn with, to keep developing myself along with her. 

knock me over with a feather, but the folks at this farm love mowing haha!

Moving farms kinda stripped away a lot of my crutches... But also maybe some of my mental blocks too. It won't surprise any of you to learn that I can seriously overthink even the most basic activity. Which ring should we ride in, what time will it be, who else will be there, what impact will that have on Doozy... 

oooh. we also went to more dressage lessons <3 <3

I'd gotten maybe a little reliant on thinking we couldn't do certain things alone or without help from other riding buddies... That everything had to be curated and set up just right. 

had to stop the presses tho bc #cat

And idk. Maybe there was some truth to that. Some of the more toxic qualities of the last place definitely created some unpleasant outcomes for my rides with Doozy. 

shocker, did more simple gymnastics at home -- both solo and with trainer Kelly

But. Eh. Since moving to the new place, the entire paradigm has shifted... and also basically just simplified. The horse needs ridden. Ideally daily. So... Go do it. 

until it's boring, amirite??

If I didn't want to be the eccentric new (and possibly over-horsed) boarder, for whom "trotting a circle" was questionable.... Well. Go practice and make it better. Every day. 

ooooh we did add in that green panel jump top left too -- with no placing poles!!

And for fucks sake, get serious about getting REAL help --- lessons. Routine, regularly scheduled sessions with professionals who can provide that structure for me.

flashback to last Dom lesson -- jumping without placing poles haha
srsly tho look how much stronger she's gotten behind!

And guys, Doozy is basically thriving. She's always been a trier. She's always "colored inside the lines," so to speak. 

the schweetest critter

But idk. My approach these last couple months has basically been to remove all the pressure, and instead focus on just getting consistent and relaxed. And goooooo figure, it's resulting in... a relaxed horse who is consistently responsive. 

cookies for a good girl <3

We legit aren't doing anything any different in terms of specific activities. If anything, we're doing **less** when it comes to stuff like jumping course work or cantering fences and what have you... 

doozy's new friends kept her entertained while i was away in Seattle!

But idk. It feels nice. Feels easy, predictable, routine. 

first ride back, after legit 10 days off, and we braved the great wide open to survey her #FutureLunch

Not gonna lie, for months last winter and this past spring, it took more effort than I was entirely willing to admit to swing a leg over every day. And not bc I don't enjoy the horse -- I definitely like her very much. But every ride was So. Hard. It felt like it took so much concentration, so much focus, so much more attention to little details in posture and tension... It was exhausting and kinda a demoralizing spotlight on my diminished skills.

lol and she pulled a shoe, WHOOPS. our companion was able to retrieve it for us tho!

The slightest loss of my balance wreaked allllll kinds of havoc. The mare didn't go straight, popped shoulders every which way, spurted off into canter at the slightest provocation. 

And I had zero tools other than trying to just strongarm her into obedience. Which... is itself 100% a losing proposition. Y'all read the posts, saw the pictures, watched the videos. You know what I'm talking about LOL. 

"you should throw a shoe too!!!" -- Doozy, for sure

But idk. It feels like we've turned a corner. Maybe it's just the natural byproduct of time spent together.... that whole pottery analogy thing I shared earlier this month... It might be, tho, that moving farms was just the shot in the arm we needed. 

flat tire didn't slow this one down tho!

The move has kinda given me the space to back off from any goals or pressures around performance expectations etc while we settled in... while also giving me a fresh start at being and presenting myself in a new place. If that makes sense.   

but, eh, looks like another few days out of service, womp womp!

Doozy and I went to our first few events together last spring in a somewhat slapdash (ahem) fashion. It was wonderful and invigorating and proved to myself that, yes! we can do this! 

But I'm equally excited to put together a little fall season that maybe will have a slightly different feeling to it. Not bc we'd necessarily perform any better (obvi). But bc it just feels like we have so many more tools in place, and are on much more established footing. 

Well. Ahem. If she can keep her shoes tied for more than 3wks!! Horses, amirite?