I’m currently reading Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s seminal work, Flow, and it’s adding a deeper layer of understanding to the whole idea of “process” vs “outcome” goals that I’ve been exploring the last few years.
Csikszentmihalyi was a pioneer of positive psychology, and is often referenced in books on everything from mindfulness to behavioral economics to business leadership. His research is all about the psychological concept of flow, a highly focused mental state conducive to optimal experience.
step 1 toward going out on fun adventures: wake princess from her midday slumber! and behold! the snow is almost all gone!
In particular, he explains that this flow state is a function of the proportional intersection between ‘challenge’ and ‘skill’ levels. And that imbalances, whether they be from an activity that’s too easy for one’s skill level, or too challenging, make it harder to get completely into the moment.
And he defines a new word (for me, at least): the ‘autotelic’ experience. He observes that so much of what we do, we do because we feel like we have to or should, for various extrinsic reasons. Autotelic is about the intrinsic value — doing something for its own sake vs any future reward. A “freely chosen discipline” rather than a restraint.
“will rise for cookies!!!”
I think this is part of what makes horses so special — what draws so many people to horsey experiences, that they lend themselves in some important and meaningful way to finding that flow state. To just getting into the moment, letting everything else melt away and disappear.
And this is also probably why we see so much variety in the nature and contour of those experiences across the horsey spectrum. There are infinite ways to get fulfillment from our interactions with horses.
fast forward a couple hours and we’ve arrived at Loch Moy’s derby course!! Ms Thing is a water feature expert now, even when it’s dotted with icebergs lol
Like with anything, tho, we’re still susceptible to external pressures. Perhaps especially if we are pursuing experiences that involve sport and competition, which by definition have clear rules and guidelines and metrics for success.
And at least for me, sometimes it’s been hard to separate my attention from what may come as a result of my effort, vs focusing on the effort itself, if that makes sense.
getting right to business with a bebe coop
For a time with Charlie, I had significant personal and emotional investment in some outcome-specific goals that ultimately we did not succeed in achieving. In retrospect, it’s easy to see that all along the way, I did not fully appreciate or took for granted some very special experiences bc I was too caught up in what they meant for our hoped-for future achievements.
And since then, there’s been a bit of a ‘hangover’ effect on my ability to get back into competing without still being influenced by those same external pressures.
tiny telephone pole bc nothing is a big deal <3
So basically from the first with Doozy, I’ve really tried to wipe the board clean. To focus on enjoying the journey, the process of our growth and development together. To prioritize expanding our education and skills, while also accepting that where we are in any given moment is good enough. We’re doing the things for the sake of doing the things, and that’s enough!
loch moy has such an amazing collection of roll tops at basically all sizes
Obvi let’s be real, tho — I’m not saying that to act like we’ve actually mastered that intention LOL. No. Absolutely not.
It’s an empowering frame of mind, tho, and is probably directly responsible for me waking up in the middle of the night and going, “ooooooh I should go to Loch Moy tomorrow!” lol… As one does, apparently.
A week’s worth of warm weather finally cleared out most of the snow, and actually Loch Moy was all set up to host a derby this weekend (at which I was slated to volunteer), but another snowstorm forecast for yesterday cancelled those plans. Saturday was still gorgeous, tho, and everything was all set — so obvi we should take advantage, and build on the momentum from our recent lesson with Dan!
just me and my Fire Horse, all the time in the world and the whole place to ourselves!
Granted, the downside of these sorts of impulsive plans is that not everybody is on the same electrical jolt LOL. So I wasn’t able to twist anybody else’s arm into joining us. C’est la vie tho!
Honestly I often prefer schooling on my own anyway if it isn’t a lesson. I like doing things on my own timing, and moving from spot to spot across the facility fluidly depending on what feels right, vs the ‘stop-and-go’ of waiting for folks or taking turns, etc. Tho obvi I wasn’t totally alone — naturally it’s a schooling facility with a steward and emergency protocols, rest assured.
Anyway, tho, it ended up being perfect. Perfect weather, perfect footing, paid for with a volunteer pass, AND we had the whole place to ourselves! It had apparently been a mad house earlier in the day, but by the time we arrived at 3:30, there was only one other rider still expected on the schedule. Perfect!!
We got ready at an unhurried pace, tho realistically Doozy is already so used to shipping out for lessons, that still ends up being about 20min between arriving and swinging a leg over. Then we moseyed thru the enormous derby rings and got on with our warm up.
just did one pass up the banks on this day
I also opted to turn on my interval timer app, which I don’t always do for xc trips like this, but use almost every ride at home. And it was useful too! Mostly for the warm up — The first 5 minutes definitely dinged sooner than I expected. Sometimes I think my tendency is to get a bit bogged down in the preliminaries of a ride, vs kinda just getting on with the actual riding, so that was a useful observation.
then into the next ring — and more fantastically chunky inviting roll tops!
Obvi I tried to do Dan justice with our warm up too. Trying to recreate the same level of “on the aids” that he demanded, and also establishing my own solid steady posture and form. I won’t try to claim that we achieved ANY of that to a level that would have satisfied him (lol), but things felt good enough to me. Doozy was a touch explosive in the warm up, but only just a touch.
And everything clicked right into gear when I started pointing her at itty bitty fences. Realistically, it’ll probably be easier for me to achieve what Dan is trying to establish for us within the jumping, vs just the warm up alone. Doozy is such a unique creature — she’s fairly insecure despite her bravery, and is always anticipating.
So when I’m just trying to trot around, her mind is already eight steps ahead, thinking about cantering and jumping and what have you. But once we start jumping, it’s like she just settles in. Like, ‘ahh, yes, here we are.’
we’ve jumped all these fences before, and everything felt comfortable and easy <3
So once we actually got going, I was able to continue some of that transition practice — like interspersing walk transitions from trot, or almost walk transitions. And trot transitions from canter, or almost trot transitions. Ms Thing is learning her half halts, guys! So exciting lol…
And also practiced stopping straight after fences, or almost stopping but then proceeding.
catching yet another lovely roll top cruisin’ around the course
And she was honestly perfect. We weren’t always super straight bc, real talk, I mostly decided where to go next on the fly, so my turns and lines weren’t always perfect. Doozy didn’t care, tho.
She jumped whatever was in front of her, from trot or canter, perfectly. What a mare!
oooh and a sliiiightly taller brushed up coop to finish!
Of particular note — she kept her shape the whole entire time we were jumping. Like, ok, perhaps a step here or there on the landing side of fences when I wanted to bring her back. But exactly zero moments of losing shape on the approach to fences. Which you may recall was a big part of our hardships at both St Augustine and schooling at Shawan last year.
To me, that is an enormous win, and hugely encouraging. Bc when she’s not turning herself inside out, inverting and deer leaping, I swear she’s literally the world’s easiest horse to jump!
extremely pleased with this mare, she just has the most incredible feeling to the jumps!
And because she felt so easy, patient, balanced and steady, we could string nice little courses together, catching all the chunky BN roll tops Loch Moy has to offer! We mostly did long sweeping turns across the full arena, one jump at a time, prioritizing steady rhythm and tempo.
No muss, no fuss, just connected and cruisin <3
video here! didn’t trim the clips quite as aggressively as i often do,
but it’s a nice representation of how we approached the jumping
And I was especially proud of myself bc after one little mini course, we were about 20min into the ride which… Realistically when I’m not in a lesson and things are going well, my rides are really only ever 20-25min… And I thought about being finished.
Except, I spied a nice brushed up BN coop that honestly looked a *smidge* intimidating to me, even tho objectively I knew we could do it. I also objectively know that I often finish a ride a little early, preferring to “wish we’d done more,” vs the alternative… But here was our chance to just do one last little course!
paused for a cookie at the judge’s booth, maybe an investment in future good juju LOL
It was good practice too, bc Doozy is used to my habit of the “short ‘n sweet” ride too. But picking up and proceeding is as much a skill unto itself as anything else is.
So we picked back up with intention, established our connection on the aids again (hilariously you can sorta hear Doozy grunting in the video but then she just settles right in again). And then went and jumped our final little loop as easy as pie!
Even tho the brush jump rode straight toward the parking lot, where the day’s last trailer had arrived and was unloading. Even tho there was spooky noisy stuff. Nbd. Just went and did it, good mare!
warm enough to get sweaty after only about a half hour ride!!
So obvi we finished on that note, and headed back out to the parking lot to chat with the last rider (whom I know from volunteering) before feeding Doozy her dinner at the trailer, packing up and going home.
dinner at the trailer is always a nice finishing touch LOL
It’s always so funny afterward, when I edit the video and take screen-grabs, there’s always this temptation to feel like, “oh I should have jumped this jump or that jump too, or why didn’t I try the ditch, or or or…” As if there’s some pre-defined metric for “making the most” of a ride.
But. Eh. Maybe instead of thinking in terms of ‘maximizing,’ I’ll try instead to integrate Csikszentmihalyi’s concepts with an old motto from my grandfather, that it’s better to ‘optimize’ vs ‘maximize’ — that enjoying the activity for itself is the reward. And we’ll just grow from here!
Somehow, some way, my humble little boarding barn managed to get all the ducks in a row to host Dan again for another clinic! I always have lofty aspirations of trying to get on a regular schedule — whether that’s some combination of him traveling to us, or vice versa, or meeting somewhere in the middle…
my feisty critter!!
But ya know. Life is what it is. People have schedules, responsibilities… Obvi there were some winter storms thrown in for good measure… But hey. A lesson every 6 weeks is still better than every 6 years, amirite?? So we make the most of it!!
Tho. Not gonna lie. There was a *LOT* going on throughout my lesson. Doozy obvi had ~~feelings~~ as she so often does. Plus, omg, there was a kubota doing something in the woods outside the ring. And omg OMG, another horse lunging in the ring with us. And, to top it all off, birds. Oooh and also Doozy’s field mate screaming bloody fucking murder right outside the arena windows (audible in the video, natch).
trying to look like we have a lid on it
I’ll be honest and admit that part of me was annoyed. Part of me wanted to just stop the lesson, send someone out to resolve the screaming pony (who had been unintentionally left alone in her field) and ask the lunging horse to go to the other indoor. Bc come on. Can’t I get like *one* dedicated time block in the ring without distractions??
But. Sigh. I did not give in to that temptation. Bc realistically… Well. Those distractions ARE the challenge with Doozy. And they are everywhere. Including when she’s just inventing distractions inside the chaos between her ears. Doozy is straight up the most ADHD horse I’ve ridden, and we *both* need to learn to cope haha.
trotting like i can sorta sit up-ish
And thus commenced our lesson in COPING, MA’AM. Starting naturally with trying to get me to sit correctly on the horse. Perhaps a day will come when that’s not a primary pursuit for me. Like, I keep waiting for these yoga classes to “work” so that I can suddenly sit up tall and straight LOL. Hasn’t happened yet tho…
tense but trying!
Dan had me actually start the ride holding the neck strap as it it was a water skiing handle bar — literally pulling back on it from my upper torso while trying to simultaneously shifting my seat more forward. And also trying to maintain a somewhat normal contact on the reins, obvi, tho mostly it was about the posture. A nifty trick I’ll play around with.
lol why am i like this
He also called me out for moving around way too much — too much side to side with my seat, too much movement with my hands, “meshing” the bit and contact instead of just holding one steady position. He said my approach was sympathetic and ‘nice’ to the horse, but not effective training and not giving Doozy a place to settle.
That to train the horse, I needed to sit up tall, in one place, with legs on and contact firm and steady so that the horse comes to me. So that it’s *clear* to the horse when they’re off the aids. Squeeze and hold, squeeze and hold, forever and ever amen.
one of these days she’s gonna break my face if i keep leaning forward like that!
It was a bit hard to settle into the lesson bc of the constant cacophony of aforementioned distractions… Like, it never really got better in that regard haha. Which was maybe helpful in an odd way bc it forced me to just get into the moment with Doozy.
Dan obvi wasn’t going to let go of his expectations just bc the horse was distracted. So. Ya know. Work through it.
you can jussssst barely see the background lunging horse get silly before doozy reacts…
And a few notable findings came from this approach. First most - “working through it” did NOT mean sacrificing quality of work And it’s always been Dan’s approach that “if what you’re doing isn’t working, slow down.”
So for example, after the above moment (which is also in the video in a more complete format), Dan actually just had us come back to walk to reset bc he felt like we got too shut down, to up-and-down in the canter vs forward and ground covering.
back to remedial transitions (and some internal screaming from doozy) to get back on the aids
From there, we worked on basically a never ending cycle of transitions - mostly walk-trot-walk-trot - focusing on literally nothing else except keeping my aids ON and STEADY, particularly my rein contact, at.all.times. — but *especially* in the upward transition. Which, it turns out, is uh, hard for yours truly!
Tho this was also where the second notable finding about “working through it” came in play. Obvi lots of transitions can make an already tense, worked up horse go nuclear. But the whole point was to do the opposite — help the horse connect to the aids, stay on the aids, find safety and security on the aids.
the jumping was easy after all that!
Liberal application of verbal cues really proved to be a difference maker for Doozy too. Not even necessarily just “good girl” or whatever, but just constantly checking in with her. Using my voice to try to get her to stay with me, focus on me, anchor with me — vs, ya know, again, can’t stress this enough, her field mate who was quite literally in a panic right outside the window.
Fortunately, Dan became satisfied with our progression in being able to hold all the aids steady through various transitions, including another canter - this time slightly more successful than the last (also in the video) - and we got a walk break. Wherein Doozy was finally allowed to release the whinny she’d been holding under her breath (lol poor thing) and I did finally suggest that somebody go rescue that sad fucking pony.
holy crap is emma actually sorta sitting(hovering-ish) on a cantering horse???
At the same time, the lunging horse had finished and was waiting his turn for a training ride with Dan, so peace was restored to the universe, right in time for — omg — jompies, yay!
looking normal!
And ya know. In Dan’s world, the whole point of all that sweat equity with the never ending walk trot transitions on the aids is that… Nothing should ever change. It’s always the same. So when you start jumping, it’s literally just the same exact thing. Just with… Jumps LOL.
grown ass mare just jumpin’ a jump <3
And gooooooo figure. Doozy just… went as she had been, as we had established, and just jumped her jumps. Easy, quiet, on the aids, waiting. No rushing, no drama.
We started with foundational type exercises — landing from the jump and going immediately into a circle, right away reestablishing the aids before doing anything else. And also practiced jumping the above line going away from the camera, and halting straight before the second element. Not on video bc that was when my barn mate went to rescue the pony. But an important piece of the practice puzzle.
patient biscuit!
Bc after we’d practiced stopping straight before* the next jump, you will be SHOCKED to hear that… as if by magic, Doozy had a half halt on the landing side of fences!
(*And Dan was explicitly crystal clear that this would be our ONLY option. No swerving left or right. No twisting, no getting sideways. No pulleying or shimmying. Just. Stop. Straight.)
sitting-ish the canter going the other way too!
And as we practiced a few more little mini courses (all in the video now, yay!!), Doozy suddenly graduated to jumping a fence, landing to turn into the short side (as above), and *immediately* coming back onto the aids such that she could proceed directly to the next jump, and in fact complete the full line now without rushing or changing shape or stride.
and jumping a long straight line on a steady add stride. knock me over with a feather!!
Miracles, y’all. It’s amazing what clear consistent practice can do, even in the space of an hour.
It’s almost hilarious, actually, to watch the jumping in that video. Bc… It’s SO ho-hum haha. She just canters around, steadily and politely. You might even say too steady, as if we should be going more forward. And it honestly felt pretty easy too — the mare was connected, on the aids, ready for whatever came next, whether it was a transition or jump or whatever.
progress slow ’n, uh, ….slow haha
And she honestly finally felt the most secure too. Like, she’s obvi a tense and kinda insecure animal at heart. She likes feeling safe, like she knows what to expect or like she can trust what’s happening to her. Which, fundamentally, is the whole point of this type of practice. Make the connection a safe reliable place for the horse, no matter how spooky or nervous they may be.
Especially with the jumping, where her tendency is to get forward and frantic, being able to stay in front of the leg and connected to the aids makes everything more comfortable, for all of us LOL!
So overall, a really productive session. As is so often the case with Doozy, I didn’t really get the circumstances I wanted … But maybe instead we got what we needed.
An overwhelming proportion of traffic across this modest little blog these days is non-human. Bots, crawlers and scrapers out mining data to power the next generation of LLMs, no doubt.
It’s always interesting to see which posts and pages are getting swarmed, tho. Not that there’s any rhyme or reason to it — but it’s sorta like a random magic 8 ball surfacing an ever changing array of old thoughts, memories, experiences, etc from the archives.
haven’t taken many new pics lol so instead enjoy this festive pony sticker that came in a care package from a friend!
I like to click thru and reread old posts anyway, and the sorta ‘random’ nature to the bot traffic often brings up long forgotten stuff. And sometimes there’s inspiration to be found! Like when a lesson recap from almost exactly 6 years ago popped up, describing the “anti-grid grid” we’d practiced in a jumping session!
pic from back in january, pre-storm, last time we jumped a couple little jumps
It immediately struck me as something we could try even within the confines of the narrow but long indoor! Because real talk, guys, I really have not done a ton of ‘proper’ course work with Doozy, and admit to avoiding a lot of related distances of the 4 to 6 stride variety.
Ymmv, but to me it seems like shorter combos — your typical gymnastics or grids — are more intuitive to the horse, and harder to miss on the striding. Longer lines — think 7-8+ strides — are more forgiving of variations in the horse’s stride length, aka easier to add or leave out a stride. But that middle distance, which is naturally most common in competition, kinda wants more commitment lest you end up on the half stride.
finally set a little mini course this weekend tho. pic not to scale, but was a pleasant little assortment of options! distances: 21’ for the in-an-out one stride bottom right corner; ~55’(ish, I didn’t exactly measure) to the blue oxer
We really haven’t jumped much at all since our last competition in November, either. There have been a couple lessons — notably the two gymnastics clinics with Sally, and also the Loch Moy lesson with Dan that I didn’t really write about but was fine — but otherwise we’ve mostly just dinked around occasionally with whatever was set up in the indoor. Usually singles, and sometimes some bounces.
simple cross rail (illustrated in pink in the sketch) off one diagonal
The weather this weekend was gorgeous, tho. And with Doozy being in a notably placid and serene mood (LO-fucking-L), I was determined to actually set stuff up intentionally and ride it.
Starting with, naturally, the anti-grid grid of a bi-directional 21’ one stride to ~55’ (sliiightly short 4 stride). And a few singles to facilitate cruising flow and easy changes of direction.
bn vertical off the other diagonal (red in the sketch). can also see the bending line to the swedish oxer behind doozy. generous ground lines on both sides since this was our tallest jump.
Nothing crazy, obviously lol. The biggest thing height-wise was a barely-BN vertical with out-to-there ground lines and big bright fluffy flower fill to help give lots of definition to the jump for Doozy. The swedish oxer was maybe a titch larger than you’d expect to see at starter level, esp in base spread, but certainly inviting for BN.
Nbd tho. Indoor course work unsupervised after a relatively quiet season does not have to be balls to the wall, all out, amirite? And also real talk: for the last two competition seasons I’ve kinda gritted my teeth and gotten almost all of our jumping done solo outside of lessons. It was what it was, no regrets or anything, but it’s not reeeally how I’m hoping the year ahead will go for us.
swedish oxers are so versatile and are more inviting to ride off both directions than square oxers. generous ground lines on both sides.
A big priority this coming year will be more jumping lessons, have no fear. But ya know. In the meantime, why not have a little fun, right?? RIGHT lol.
Doozy just loves to jump. I wasn’t sure if she’d be wild or explosive or make bids for the fences after so much gymnastic work in recent months… But honestly she felt SUPER in her connection. She seems to thrive with a steadily closed leg, hip to heel — think: “hugging” the horse — matched with a firm but not dead-weight rein contact — think: feeling the bit move, vs a dull grip.
She has such a natural desire to push forward that the jumps seemed to come up comfortably if I could maintain my end of the connection.
set of 2’3 verticals for the in-and-out, 21’ distance for a more compressed one stride. flowers centered directly under pole for riding in both directions. no extra ground lines bc i was a little lazy, but it was nice test for us to not always have ‘training wheels’!
We did have one moment of getting inverted — our classic ‘face-full of Dooz ears’ move — traveling across the long bending line from the vertical to the swedish the first time, but honestly it was my fault (obvi), I needed to trust that we could wait for the stride **without** shortening or pulling back. Came back around and trusted it and Doozy kept her shape, good girl.
And actually the anti-grid grid was so perfect for this. The 4 strides felt blazing fast, dear god, even tho I set it a little short. But it rode great every time — in both directions, oxer to in-and-out or other way around. So it was good for me to remember that feeling too, esp after months of riding in the indoor where it’s easy to get under powered and off the stride.
the whole line can be ridden both ways, 1 to 4 or 4 to 1; can also catch both ends as bending lines to the earlier diagonal elements: X to in-and-out, or vertical to swedish. i didn’t try to ride the other way — jumping into the line then veering onto a bend — tho you could do that too
All in all a productive session, but also, ya know… Just plain fun LOL. And a good experience of just going out and doing it and not ‘overthinking’ it too much, as Dan would say.
Tho ya know. Now that things are thawing out and temps are climbing again, obvi we’re already starting to get eager for the next fun adventure opportunity! Hopefully soon to come!
Well. Ms Thing would apparently like to correct the record LOL.
Bc this week she’s been feeling…. a certain sort of way, and “resisting temptation” ain’t got *nothing* to do with it haha…
Doozy’s serenely placid expression with all those sheepish geldings lol… ffs mare!
I’ve clearly interrupted a moment here. Just be grateful that the camera didn’t really capture the, erm, yellow tinge to all that snow omg.
Ugh. Mare. Keep your legs out of the fence pls!! Luckily was just a minor little flesh wound… but still!!
One bonus to her, uh, willing mood was that she not only was NOT violent about the acupuncture in her recent appt, but actually seemed to like it for once! Goooo figure haha, that’s the most needles we’ve ever been able to safely place!
Ridiculous critter, I swear to god!
Hope y’all are having as good a Friday as Doozy, LOL — just make good choices pls!
