news from the front

Like many of you, it's been a few weeks now since covid-related rules, guidelines and regulations have completely and utterly interrupted my horse habit. Basically, all things Charlie have ground to a halt. Absolutely and without exception.

now i'm allowed to visit my horse once every 2 weeks to drop off supplies

Refining our ring-craft in dressage tests? lol.... nope.

Carrying an uphill balance consistently in show jumping? ....maybe later ha

Building strength and fitness to carry us through when all else fails? ....eh, at least he's getting turnout?

it was so nice to get to see him! altho, i was surprised to find them out on grass a month early

And to be perfectly honest with you all?? That's not even what's occupying the bulk of my attention at this point. Rather, it's missing the simpler side of things. The simple joy I get from being in my horse's company. The fact that, even tho I drive 45min-1hr to get there, just seeing Charlie is usually enough to melt away the stresses from my day.

Winston Churchill is widely celebrated for a few reasons, but also credited with noting that "No hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle." I'd say it's simpler than that tho - time spent even just in the company of horses is always time well spent. For me, and for many of you too.

it's the sort of change in a horse's routine you'd wish management would communicate... esp since charlie has a history of colic during this transition period

Losing this special time is... well, honestly, a heartbreaking adjustment. For everyone.

I already wrote about having reservations on how Charlie's barn management is handling these completely unprecedented circumstances. Had they bothered to ask me, or confer any degree of authority on me.... Well, ya know, haha.... I'd probably do things differently. But.... Nobody asked me. And nobody handed me the reins.

And so, because I *do* agree with the intent of the rules, even if I would design them differently myself.... ya know.... I comply. Sigh.

but. eh. there's not a lot of grass yet. and he's fine. honest to god, happy as a clam, doing just fine living his life every day as a horse, just a horse who gets a little less attention now

Hiring a groom from among the existing staff (ie, that enviable class of "essentials") was hands down a game changer for my emotional state. There were a few options on how to go about this. Originally, I planned to post on the barn's page asking whether anybody was interested in earning a few bucks. There are plenty of experienced ppl on the staff, ya know?

But.... After thinking on it, I changed tactics. Bc.... I didn't want someone who was just in it for the cash, or someone who was going to be the type of "experienced" that makes them believe they know what's best for my horse even if it doesn't align with my wishes.

from here on are pictures my groom J has sent. she figured charlie out right away haha, and loves playing with him!

Rather, I wanted someone who was going to approach it out of love for horses, love for learning, and excitement at the opportunity to increase their responsibilities. And I planned to pay plenty well enough to forgive my sliiiiiiightly micro tendencies haha. (You all read my letter to this groom, you know exactly what I'm talking about, let's be real!).

So I reached out to an inexperienced high schooler and offered her the gig. And she's been ahhhhmazing. She LOVES Charlie (what's not to love tho, ya know?) and over the past few months had already demonstrated a quickness to learn and an eagerness to put the horses first, rather than cut corners. Any of you out there who have ever had to train barn staff - you know exactly the type of worker I'm describing.

case in point lol: charlie likes to help out by lending an extra hand mouth to hold grooming tools

True, the inexperience means that she's less likely to recognize early warning signs or small discrepancies. Tho, obviously, such should be covered under my standard full care board agreement anyway, the whole reason I'm deemed not essential (cough cough....).

she made homemade cookies for all the horses too, and took videos of them snacking!!

But... Idk. Charlie is a sensitive soul. He needs to be loved and petted and have someone tell him he's pretty and kiss his nose. And he's getting that in SPADES with J. Plus... probably along the way, this young rider will also learn about some of the other aspects of observing a horse's day to day health and well being.

I was in a similar position when I was her age --- tho I'd already been riding for quite a while and had more experience in that regard. But I craved nothing more in the world than that sort of special responsibility and special relationship with individual horses. I guess it comes with the territory of not owning, and not even seeing a path to ownership.

lol she made a good effort at trying to get him to eat a peep on easter too. no dice tho, turns out there's something charlie WON'T eat, who knew!!

Regardless, tho, getting her twice weekly updates and pictures is such a relief to me. I know Charlie is in good hands. And now I'm allowed to drop off supplies once every two weeks, which also helps me just confirm with my own eyes that everything is.... Fine.

she might be inexperienced at horses, but as a highschooler she certainly knows her way around social media 

enjoy this compilation of the many videos she's sent me! my personal favorite is the clip of charlie standing in his patented statuesque majestic way, which she overlaid with the 'calvary charge' music lol

It's fine. Charlie is fine. He's happy, content, doing his thing. He's healthy and dirty and losing fitness at an astounding rate. And not at all perturbed by that or anything else in this world haha. Charlie has always taken the "retired" part of Retired Racehorse wayy too seriously, let's be real.

So I'm ok. It's ok. It's going to be fine.

J also got the honors of giving charlie his birthday groom and apple <3 <3 <3 this big guy is 11 now, can you believe it?

What is not fine, tho, is letting this general malaise, this general feeling of frustration, sadness, concern... translate into hostility (overt or otherwise) toward others.

As far as I can tell, everyone (not just the horse community) is feeling the effects of prolonged uncertainty and angst. It's scary. People are fucking scared. And maybe a little angry. Maybe it's getting better... Maybe it isn't... Maybe at this point you find yourself distrustful of whatever news comes through. It's just... hard to know.

screen grabs from aforementioned statuesque majesty lolol

And there is a LOT of blame going around. At all levels of society. Everyone is suffering in some way. Many from losing someone they loved, or from having been sick themselves. And many more from losing their jobs or livelihood. Plus, ya know, 98% of the population experienced at least some small degree of unwelcome upheaval.

And lacking any sort of tangible concrete target (bc viruses are invisible), it's unclear how to vent all this pent up frustration, fear and anger. So people are going straight up vigilante.

she's gotten into the habit of grooming him out in the field lately. imo that's not ideal in the case where she might identify a wound or something... but eh, so far so good

I read an article about how some vandals slashed the tires of car parked at boat yard. Presumably bc they figured it was a vacationer going out on a yacht. Actually, it was a nurse self isolating from her family, sleeping on a boat between shifts.

Closer to home, I've seen some *insane* comment threads on social media. Blasting people every which way from Sunday for barring boarders from the facilities ("IT'S ILLEGAL!") or for choosing to ride ("SO SELFISH, THE RISK!"), and literally everything in between.

charlie's certainly not complaining, anyway

And even at my own farm, people are slinging venom - including at Charlie's nascent groom - about why some staff are allowed when maybe the owners see themselves as better qualified for that staff position. Or why they don't trust management after years of (silent) unrest or whatever.

Idk. It's hard. So so so hard. For everyone who is angry, I.... totally relate. Bc I'm angry too. If I had control over this situation, I'd do it really really really fucking differently. But. I don't. I have zero control right now. And it fucking sucks.

sorta sad to be missing all the rest of spring at the farm. but that's ok.... we'll be back eventually. probably.

But it's going to be ok. Maybe. Probably. Maybe not in the ways we'd expect or wish, and maybe not perfectly. But it's also not the fault of the people around us who are also facing exactly the same unprecedented situation.

Maybe there will be a reckoning later. I don't know. But.... Honestly I'm just gonna try to keep my peace and hold fire until the dust has settled. Just gonna try to make good choices. Gently poking and  prodding when possible, sure. But resisting the temptation toward outrage, at basically all costs.

And in the meantime... I'll do whatever the hell I can to stay in the good graces of the people who *do* have control over the care of my animal, Charlie, whom I love. Because at some point theoretically this current situation will be over, right?