A different take on goal setting

Upper level event rider Matt Brown recently wrote an extremely candid article for Chronicle of the Horse about goal setting in particular, and the mental health implications thereof more generally.

 

In short? He shared a very personal look into how his fixation on specific outcomes ("Be selected to the Olympics team!") led him down a troubled road replete with dissatisfaction, anxiety, demoralization, and an overwhelming sense of fragility that crept into every aspect of his life -- even his personal relationships.

That finally, Matt hardly recognized himself anymore and realized he needed professional help to get back on track. This led him to begin aggressively researching mental health, and its interplay with our ambitions and approach to goal setting. And from this, he learned more about how to adjust and adapt his mindset and reevaluate how he sets goals in order to feel more fulfilled.

 

The article is definitely worth a full read -- especially since it appears to be Part 1 of a series. But I thought I'd share some quick thoughts on my general impression.

One major actionable takeaway from Matt's story is the importance of "process" v "outcome" goals. The idea being, often we have very very little control over specific outcomes, no matter how hard we try. And that if all our hope and happiness is tied up in something over which we have limited to no control.... We're setting ourselves up for disappointment.

 

Rather, he says we're not only likelier to succeed, but also likelier to be satisfied and happy with our efforts, when we focus on the "process" goals. Meaning, the steps we can control that naturally would lead to that desired outcome.

 

He uses dressage scores as an example: Focusing on a specific score would be an "outcome." Whereas focusing on the movements or our efforts in schooling etc are more related to the "process" of achieving that outcome.

 

Matt writes,

"Process goals are more conducive to actually feeling fulfilled on your journey towards a goal, and oftentimes are more useful in the actual accomplishment of your goal. Process goals consist of things that are within your control. They have mainly to do with your attitude, your behaviors, your thoughts, your level of effort and your actions. When we focus on the things we can control we can take ownership of our path, and we can make progress in any situation regardless of our circumstances."

 

This, to me, makes a lot of sense. And much like Olympic dressage coach Jane Savoie's idea of only ever using positive language in goal setting (ie, avoiding terms like no, not, stop, don't, won't, can't, less, never, etc etc), seems reasonably easy to adopt.

Winter is the season when many of us start thinking more deeply about goal setting for the coming year. And as I organize my thoughts, these words from Matt will be top of mind.

 

There's something else, tho, here -- another undercurrent that I think is especially important for me personally, and maybe some of you too.

It's that, from where I stand, from my perspective, Matt is so incredibly accomplished. He's done so much, achieved so much. And yet, here he is, honestly and without adornment sharing his struggles with feeling like he's not good enough, doesn't measure up, can't make the cut.

 

It's so common now with social media's highly curated photographs and video clips of only the best moments, that we're practically inundated with images and impressions of those around us achieving more, doing more, doing better, getting farther. And that if we're not careful, it's all too easy to fall into that trap of negatively comparing ourselves to all that. To look at our own circumstances, without the shiny filters and editing of what's presented online, and feel badly about ourselves.

 

And furthermore, to think that, if we could just reach that next level, make that next step, do that bigger jump or movement, then maybe we'd be happy like those people in the pictures too.

Matt's article tells us, tho, that not only does that mindset not actually lead us to happiness and satisfaction, but that it can actually rob us even further of our joy. And that even at the highest levels of this sport, there still always that next level to haunt you, if all you ever think about are outcomes.

 

Rather, even for us mere mortal amateurs, it's so important to focus our efforts on what we can control, and let the chips fall where they may. We invest too much in this sport --- infinitely more than time, money and energy --- to not be deriving happiness and satisfaction from it.

 

And so as I look toward evaluating my goals from this past year, and setting new goals for the year to come, all of this will very much be in my mind. And I'll be focusing on the process, those small steps that I love so much.

Did you read the article too? What did you think of it? Did any of the points resonate with you as well? Any takeaways or perspectives that stand out to you?