a strange anniversary

Those of you who have been reading long enough to remember (and hey, maybe even some newer readers!) must be sick and tired of me beating this same drum. But. My blog, my rules.

This week marks one year since failing to stick the landing after stepping out of my trailer, and breaking my leg in the process.

And wow. It just really sucked. And I have all kinds of personal feelings wrapped up in the injury - sometimes considering it to be a somewhat pivotal moment for me (considering just about every aspect of my life looks different now than it did then...).

Of course the timing was unfortunate as fall is maybe my favorite time of year to be out and about competing! Not that the injury stopped me from at least spectating lol, since I still managed to haul Brita and Wick to their awesome BN debut less than 24 hours after the injury. Pro tip: maybe don't do that.... Tho it was totally worth it haha. 

And naturally the injury couldn't stop us from some good ol' fashioned halloween fun. Who could forget this truly horrifying costume? I, for one, shudder every time I see crutches lol.

Mostly it was just a tough time for me bc spending time with horses felt damn near impossible. Getting to the barn was something I could do at most once or twice a week - usually to haul my barn mates to our weekly lesson at OF. And covering myself in barn cats as par for the course. Bc naturally. (also there are THREE cats in that pic - do you see them all?) 

At least being crippled opened my world up to certain amenities - like when Loch Moy loaned me a gator to "walk" the cross country course with Brita and Kaitlyn (they refunded my entry too!). 

It's funny looking back on that moment bc being a non-competitor at shows felt so alien to me, so unusual. And obviously after the way things unfolded with Isabel this year, I'm pretty sure I attended more shows this year as a spectator / provider of moral support (and/or transportation) than I did as an actual competitor. Ahh how things change...

Another fond broken leg memory was spending my birthday in the pet emergency room with my darling kitty Martini, who really really had to pee but just couldn't. Poor dude. Carting his ass up and down the stairs to my third floor apartment while on crutches just about did me in.

Fortunately he recovered just fine, and with a change of diet has not suffered any relapses. So again. It was worth it, I guess haha. 

The injury definitely came at a bad time for Bali. You all remember Bali, right? God how I loved that horse. Despite the crutches and impending winter weather, I managed to make it out a couple times to watch him and his lease rider lesson with Dan.

Sometimes I wonder if I had more saddle time with Bali, if he would have worked out for the lesson program. Given the result of his x-rays tho.... probably not. As it was, he ended up landing softly at an easy going trail home. Probably for the best. Le sigh. 

Anyways, I actually didn't even get to see Isabel every time I made it to the barn, since she was usually out in the field. She was sweet when I did see her tho. Doubtful that she missed the work... but maybe she missed the candy canes? lol.... again some of the parallels to today are remarkable. Mare still doesn't miss it! 

And as fellow equestrians, you all know how it goes. Getting back on the horse earlier than recommended and whatnot.... What can I say, I wanted to ride!! This was probably around 7 weeks post injury. 

And it felt GOOD. Never mind that Isabel was kinda rude and rowdy on the trail - up to and including actually running my bum leg into a tree... It just felt like coming home again, and was the shot in the arm I needed to stay patient and keep healing. 

Getting off the crutches to walk freely while still booted helped tremendously too. Especially since so many friends at the barn were helpful in bringing the mare in from the field for me (bc those fields were a touch too treacherous for cripples lol). Isabel obviously appreciated coming out for grass breaks too, given how unseasonably pleasant it was despite being winter. 

Then, of course, the moment I had been waiting for: finally ditching the boot to ride in normal shoes again!! Actually this was a little premature, since I ended up being downgraded to a different brace that fit into tennis shoes instead of going cold turkey on ankle support... All the same, it was a great day! 

Notice how loose that tall boot is on me? Fun fact: my calves are still wildly different sizes to this day. Crazy. 

dramatic reenactment

So. One long and meandering trip down miserable memory lane later, and it's the closing of another October. And I'm still not competing and actually still haven't really gotten back to where I was pre-injury. Lots of stuff changed haha, and this summer really didn't play out the way I had hoped after all that time off last winter.

It's cool tho. I'm not going to go all "things happen for a reason" on you. Bc for fucks sake, please don't ever let this happen to you lol. Talk about a stupid ridiculous way to wreck yo'self....

But idk. I feel more hopeful now than I have in a long time. So many things have changed since this time last year that I didn't necessarily anticipate, and who knows what will happen going forward. But it'll probably end up being ok!

(But seriously tho, don't be like me. Watch your step!!)