tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post3043579252638929420..comments2024-03-26T17:31:58.290-07:00Comments on 'Fraidy Cat Eventing: constructive criticism v. public shamingemmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05686949099663199382noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-44624364416965680632015-07-13T05:58:20.489-07:002015-07-13T05:58:20.489-07:00Im late to the party, but YES emma!!! These two di...Im late to the party, but YES emma!!! These two did not warrant any harsh comments even if they asked for critique. Just unprofessional and rude. kaitlyndznhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11334903273598072322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-35566861326077314482015-07-13T05:57:55.932-07:002015-07-13T05:57:55.932-07:00Im late to the party, but YES emma!!! These two di...Im late to the party, but YES emma!!! These two did not warrant any harsh comments even if they asked for critique. Just unprofessional and rude. kaitlyndznhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11334903273598072322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-45298565528206559032015-07-12T16:48:57.846-07:002015-07-12T16:48:57.846-07:00:( Big hugs to your friend. People can be so mean ...:( Big hugs to your friend. People can be so mean :(Carol and Maxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06288416802087410340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-66559502530585457532015-07-11T10:23:11.280-07:002015-07-11T10:23:11.280-07:00Any improvement should never be met with any criti...Any improvement should never be met with any criticism that isn't positive (that's much better and you can still do even better than that once you improve this etc.). It certainly shouldn't become a public humiliation. This judge seems very unprofessional. Her advice was not asked for and, if she insisted on getting her point across, she should have done it through a personal message in a more positive way instead of discouraging an equestrian that probably looks up to her. I think that judges have a responsibility to be a positive example to the industry and this lady most certainly was not in this situation.Jodihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16560432669562291616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-41657518061994839322015-07-11T10:14:24.448-07:002015-07-11T10:14:24.448-07:00I completely agree. I completely agree. Jodihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16560432669562291616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-37245911340810508612015-07-10T12:49:11.133-07:002015-07-10T12:49:11.133-07:00Aww that's terrible! That trainer had no right...Aww that's terrible! That trainer had no right to pick on and demean your friend. If she had posted a picture asking for help, then it would have been okay if the trainer said it politely. But this is just terrible. That was a moment of accomplishment for your friend. It's wrong for the trainer to be mean in a moment of joy. At that point it is criticism. This is a quote I love that is perfect for this situation: Don't be distracted by criticism. Remember ~ the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you." I hope your friend is feeling better about herself now.Paolahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13169356458758529349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-58776694619355641662015-07-10T12:48:19.211-07:002015-07-10T12:48:19.211-07:00Aww that's terrible! That trainer had no right...Aww that's terrible! That trainer had no right to pick on and demean your friend. If she had posted a picture asking for help, then it would have been okay if the trainer said it politely. But this is just terrible. That was a moment of accomplishment for your friend. It's wrong for the trainer to be mean in a moment of joy. At that point it is criticism. This is a quote I love that is perfect for this situation: Don't be distracted by criticism. Remember ~ the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you." I hope your friend is feeling better about herself now.Paolahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13169356458758529349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-28384093867496310742015-07-10T09:33:29.321-07:002015-07-10T09:33:29.321-07:00Holy guacamole. Like whoa. Can't handle the sa...Holy guacamole. Like whoa. Can't handle the sass from that one. She needs to get off her high horse (hehe) and be respectful!Micaylahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09799043647759779897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-43915088413450982022015-07-09T19:22:23.376-07:002015-07-09T19:22:23.376-07:00It was so obnoxious! I definitely default to a lit...It was so obnoxious! I definitely default to a little lower and round vs poll the highest point with a risk of going hollow. I'd rather pick a horse up than put a horse down (okay that sounds bad but you know what I mean!). And certainly no outsider should comment... sometimes you have a horse who is so high headed that we're so happy when the horse goes low only to hear some dumb trainer complaining about it with no idea what the rider went through to get the horse down there! Dumb. Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04255900012774193536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-69736211641525093292015-07-09T18:09:00.164-07:002015-07-09T18:09:00.164-07:00Best. Post. Ever. Seriously! I've given up on ...Best. Post. Ever. Seriously! I've given up on most social media, particularly facebook when it comes to the horse community. Now matter what you say or do, it seems you are always harming your horse in someone's eyes. And as a trainer it, this person could stand to be a mite more professional. The last time I took lessons (I'm ashamed to admit) was well over 10 years ago and I quit because my trainer would not stop picking apart my horse. I still am incredibly self conscious about how others view me when I ride and rarely post pictures of me on horseback as a result. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-84406831252169775052015-07-09T17:17:05.304-07:002015-07-09T17:17:05.304-07:00OMG - I haven't read anything this good in a l...OMG - I haven't read anything this good in a long, long time. THANK YOU!!!!! I have tried really hard to surround myself with people who understand that I will not get my horse to (insert level) as fast as a professional or as far as a professional. Speedy doesn't care what level we get to and neither does Izzy. I love good instruction, and I seek it out as I am able, but frankly, Charlotte Dujardin does not like in Bakersfield. Frankly, my choices for quality instructors is very, very slim. I do the best I can with what I have.<br /><br />I absolutely love your philosophy of optimizing. That's an excellent way to describe what most of us AAs are doing. Well said. :0)Bakersfield Dressagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05571487914424695283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-28516848706724178142015-07-09T15:08:54.689-07:002015-07-09T15:08:54.689-07:001) That is wildly unprofessional and a ticket to a...1) That is wildly unprofessional and a ticket to an immediate block in my world. <br /><br />I've seen trainers handle facebook/social media well in two ways: either they never make comments/likes on anyone's stuff or they say only positive things on pretty much everyone. Even if you aren't attacking anyone, you don't want to create the illusion of favoritism or hurt feelings. <br /><br />I certainly post lots of horse pictures both on my blog and on facebook and I've never yet claimed to be perfect. It's all about sharing the journey. There are plenty of things I don't talk about on the internet because I don't want the opinions of random strangers. That said, I am literally an internet user for the pony pictures and if anyone makes that unpleasant, they get blocked. Period. Ain't nobody got time for that. <br /><br />2) Thanks for the post share! Always glad to unite my fellow ammies. :-) SprinklerBandithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02948487857418394022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-83296943067638285262015-07-09T14:22:54.376-07:002015-07-09T14:22:54.376-07:00Obviously this is just her advertising that you do...Obviously this is just her advertising that you don't want to train with her. Share in info to your local friends. 😉Austenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13004088333430762406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-32173875886479745962015-07-09T14:21:56.873-07:002015-07-09T14:21:56.873-07:00Everyone I've lessened with recently has had m...Everyone I've lessened with recently has had me keep Pig much lower and rounded than I'm used to, and you know? It actually engaged his topline like nothing else, AND he stayed on the aids. So, that lower and deeper crap isn't always so bad. It's not like we were cranking his head in or doing anything remotely looking like rollkur, but his poll was totally not the highest point. Whatever works for the horse at the moment, eh?Austenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13004088333430762406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-41386435097852399682015-07-09T13:55:30.899-07:002015-07-09T13:55:30.899-07:00I'm with you and all the other commentators. T...I'm with you and all the other commentators. That trainer's response was completely unprofessional and hurtful, especially since your friend was NOT asking for critiques! I hope your friend re-uploads image, deletes that trainer and/or changes the post settings as needed. Life is too short for that kind of BS. Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15925650148327532110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-29873890167519383742015-07-09T13:10:27.868-07:002015-07-09T13:10:27.868-07:00You're right about all this. No one should off...You're right about all this. No one should offer an opinion where one wasn't requested, and no one should publicly shame someone or make unfair assumptions. Some professionals use facebook as a way to congratulate their students on their successes, offer encouragement, and get some (free) positive media attention for their business or advertise a quality horse for sale. Other professionals use facebook for... other reasons. Guess which ones are actually successful. :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13790278181159401158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-62081653032554474112015-07-09T11:52:36.265-07:002015-07-09T11:52:36.265-07:00God, that's so unprofessional!
Your last two ...God, that's so unprofessional!<br /><br />Your last two paragraphs absolutely NAILED IT for me! I feel like "back the fuck off" needs to become a motto.Beka Burkehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11510058677533021975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-11875630526371257222015-07-09T11:40:33.654-07:002015-07-09T11:40:33.654-07:00LOVE this post! I feel absolutely awful for your ...LOVE this post! I feel absolutely awful for your friend, and would have a hard time holding back on this trainer if I knew their Facebook info. How unprofessional and unkind. I agree with several other commenters that this likely stems from the trainer's own insecurities, however oddly they've manifested themselves.<br /><br />I keep my horsey posting to a minimum on FB as there are a lot of opinions, most of which I don't care to hear. A friend of mine had a horse come up severely lame, and while talking about it in a FB post I offered to let her ride my guy, Gavin, if she just wanted to get on a horse. MY trainer (who this girl had briefly trained with) texted me telling me to absolutely NOT let her on my horse. I was shocked and appalled that the thread was being monitored so closely that I was now being told how to behave towards a friend of mine. People need to mind their own business. <br /><br />I'm sorry for your friend, but glad that she has you as a friend!Erikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04862898176284766826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-56920063749418610062015-07-09T09:50:20.501-07:002015-07-09T09:50:20.501-07:00Wow, yes. It irritates me beyond belief when thing...Wow, yes. It irritates me beyond belief when things like this happen. First, posting a picture publically is not an invitation for critique (although you always run that risk obviously because there are people wanting to do that). Second, how can you see so much from a picture!? Like you said it was ONE fence in an entire hour of instruction. And even though it is none of her business, how does the obnoxious trainer not know that the instructor was working on that very issue during that lesson? It takes time to change bad habits. <br /><br />It gets me too because I had an incident earlier this year where a trainer yelled instructions to my student at a show. We had a plan in warm up to ride the horse a bit extra low/round because the horse stands up a bit more in the court and will become inverted if he isn't warmed up properly. So stupid trainer walks by yelling at my kid to bring the horse's poll up and I had to stop the warm up and explain again to my kid why that was not the right thing for her horse. It's like yeah he needs his poll up but I'd rather her go in a little deep and keep the horse on the aids than go in hoping to maintain poll-the-highest-point when the horse is likely to go hollow the second it steps in the show ring. <br /><br />Basically not everything is exactly what it looks like in photographs or even in person. Why anyone criticizes/critiques photographs on facebook is beyond me. Just let people enjoy their horses, it's way too expensive of a sport to do anything else. Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04255900012774193536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-14527640809178305762015-07-09T09:37:11.267-07:002015-07-09T09:37:11.267-07:00I agree with EVERYTHING you have said here. And a...I agree with EVERYTHING you have said here. And all the comments. And we are soooooooo the choir.<br /><br />There are absolutely hysterical things my horse does that I don't really post on any kind of internet forum because people are going to be like ERMGERD HORZE ABUZE. Hell, he even convinced a judge of that. So I keep it quiet and just share with my friends.<br /><br />The one time -- the ONE TIME -- when I think people should step in is if something legitimately dangerous or life-threatening is happening. For example, several months ago I commented on a blog I was reading that I was concerned about the horse's weight. I did so in a comment because I couldn't find the blogger's email, and I tried to express my concern in a manner that conveyed that I was supportive of the blogger and her choices (because I was) and wanted to help. There is a fine line between being constructive and being an asshole, sometimes you cross it by accident but you should be aware and try to convey things better if you do.<br /><br />Also, you've given me the most wonderful idea for a blog hop.Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13834098473974912416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-60897859134718532962015-07-09T08:58:15.172-07:002015-07-09T08:58:15.172-07:00Ugh, I'm sorry for your friend. That really su...Ugh, I'm sorry for your friend. That really sucks! I have fortunately never been harassed on fb for any pics of me riding, but I'm honestly always worried about it. Believe me, I know my equitation is far from perfect and I really don't need anyone pointing it out in public, thankyouverymuch, but at the same time I think the pride I feel for my small accomplishments outweighs any criticisms that anyone else may feel the need to dish out. I very much agree with other posters that having to point out flaws in others stems from more insecurities that that person must have of themselves.<br /><br />What really gets me is the fact that someone who calls them self a trainer (which implies that they are a professional) would criticize someone in such an unconstructive way an even worse, do it publicly. That's the exact opposite of professionalism IMHO. I can picture this happening with middle-school girls, but not with an adult trying to run a business. Come on. Again, sorry for your friend! Abbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17784724437450397444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-40931088673759942532015-07-09T08:44:46.747-07:002015-07-09T08:44:46.747-07:00Jeez, what a bitch! I think the key to constructiv...Jeez, what a bitch! I think the key to constructive criticism is the 'constructive' part- you're offering advice on what you can do that will help you improve, not making a totally unasked for statement on all the things you're doing wrong.Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07140631127593549541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-1580878331251096052015-07-09T07:56:38.563-07:002015-07-09T07:56:38.563-07:00Preach! I have a really hard time taking criticis...Preach! I have a really hard time taking criticism, I take it very personally. I know I need to develop a thicker skin and I'm working on it. But my rule of thumb is that if a person doesn't ask for my opinion I won't give it. If I am truly ready to hear some constructive criticism I will ask, if not...shhhhh. Recently a friend of mine came to meet my horses and tore apart their conformation. I was pretty upset as it was a friendly visit...not a conformation class. KateRosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12870548960430847612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-3860632729611499542015-07-09T07:34:39.144-07:002015-07-09T07:34:39.144-07:00I'm probably just super passive aggressive, bu...I'm probably just super passive aggressive, but I'd be really tempted to be like "It's such a shame when trainers are actually good at teaching, but have such poor people skills that you don't ever want to ride with them."Amandahttp://the900facebookpony.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-932439930694780998.post-6991981298513566462015-07-09T07:34:29.873-07:002015-07-09T07:34:29.873-07:00VERY well said.VERY well said.Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16071037752920853786noreply@blogger.com